Adoption Community
what should i do?
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what should i do?

Im 16 years old and 4 weeks pregnant. I want the best for my child but I only make $350 a month. I've been thinking about what I need to do but im not sure if adoption is an option right now and I still haven't told my baby's dad.
10 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
You should definitely talk to your parents and inform your baby's dad of whats going on, he has a right to know.
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Avatar_f_tn
You really have to do what's right in your heart... it's amazing how life can happen...

My husband was adopted by his parents at birth, later in life... they were already in their late 30s and early 40s. His adopted mother had given up a child 17 years previous to adopting him.

When my husband was 16, his adopted mothers birth child found the family, and was welcomed with open arms, she is still a big part of the family today.

When my husband was 17, he met his biological mother for the first time- it was the only time, thus far. She is a friend of both of ours on facebook, and once in a blue moon will email us, but never replies to anything we send her. It's a very strange situation, to say the least.

Both my in-laws and my husbands biological mother have expressed that at the time they had their respective children, they knew they could not handle it, but now that everyone is grown up, things are alot easier. I don't know if that helps at all, but fate has a funny way of playing everything out the right way. You can give up a child, but still watch that child from a distance grow, by keeping in touch with the adoptive parents, as my in-laws did with my husbands bio-mother.
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Avatar_m_tn
Talk to your parents, find an adoption agency in the area and set up an appointment to talk with a Social Worker about adoption. Gather as much information as you can on all of your options that way when you are ready to make a decision on what is best for you and your baby you will have all the facts.

Remember talking with an agency and Social Worker does NOT commit you to anything.
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Avatar_f_tn
if you deside to keep your baby there is a place called crossroad pregnancy that will help you get everything for your baby. you could even get on wic for baby formula and if you dont mide used clothes you could always look on craigslist and thrift stores for baby clothes. just trying to help i know its your choice
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4775557_tn?1359038281
I know it is very difficult situation for you and for your husband also. try to talk with them and make them calm before telling them the things. You should also think about the child's future not only yours. Think by your heart and if your heart says that this is the correct situation then you can go for it.
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Avatar_n_tn
Keep your baby! I got pregnant with my first at 15 she is now 3 and her and my boyfriend are the loves of my live I don't no what I would do without her!!! I'm now 18 having my second and I'm keeping him also!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
I am 16 weeks pregnant and couldn't imagine giving my peanut up. I know times seem hard but think how much harder it will feel after your baby is taken from u. On the one hand u will have the security of knowing that ur baby will be safe and well taken care of but on the other hand u can become depressed and much worse: you could regret ur decision. I would talk to ur parents since u r so young and see if they would be willing to help in anyway and the baby dad has an obligation to help too. Also keep in mind that most everywhere a law states that both parents must agree to the adoption so if baby dad doesn't agree and u do then he will get full custody cause the courts will take ur decision of adoption as an action showing u have no interest in keeping ur child which means he won't be obligated to let u see the baby. I had a friend go through that and decides if she can't give it up cause of him then he isn't getting full custody and the only other option is to keep the baby :/ lots of legalities involved so again I say talk to ur parents. Hope this helps
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi I hope all is well. Did you make a decision of what to do? If you need someone to talk to I am here to listen. I also became pregnant when I was 16 and know what is like. In the other hand, my son and I are looking to adopt and add a baby to the family if you have decided to go that route. My email address is ***@****. If I don't hear from you, best wishes.
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560091_tn?1400848795
I'm an adoptive mother, my son is now 1 year old. My adivce to you is really think about your decision long and hard. It's something you'll always have to live with. The girl I adopted from was 19 and the birth dad was 32.
They said the reason they wanted adoption was because they couldn't do it financially and just weren't ready. My son has a wonderful life and needs nor wants for anything. I'm still in contact with the Birth parents and if you did decide adoption you could make an agreement that you would want yearly visits and or pictures. If you have any questions regarding the adoption process feel free to contact me. I wish you the best of luck this is a big decision you have to make for yourself and most of all the future of your baby.
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5743505_tn?1374965230
Hey! So im placing my son for a very open adoption in a few weeks. Alot of people replying do not know anything about open adoption. Its truly a beautiful thing. You're not "giving up" your baby your give them a chance of a wonderful life that you wouldn't be able to provide at this time. Im making this choice BECAUSE I love him so much. I can't think about myself I need to think of what's best for my child. And plus im not married and I think every child deserves a life with a married mother and father who are ready to have a child and ready to provide the best life opportunities they so deserve. The adoptive parents and I have suuuuch a great relationship. I got to choose the family after meeting with several different familes and emailing them for months and getting to know them. I chose to look for families in my same state. The family I chose is amazing. Turns out they live in my neighborhood! So crazy. They're also in my parents church.. even more crazy. But we talk a few times a week and they invite me over and show me his nursery and everything they're doing to get ready fir him. They are so excited and I am just so excited for them!  They want him ti know he is adopted and be proud of it and have a relationship with me and have him k ow im his birth mom who gave him life. They have an adoptive daughter who's 2 and they're relationship with her birth parents is so great as well. We agreed ill be seeing him every couple months. And they're gonna send me pics all the time and they update they're blog with tons of pics every week. Every adoptive couple is different when it comes to openness so it really comes down to what you decide on what's best together. Some may not be as willing to be so open. You just need to find the best fit for you and your child:) please just don't rule out adoption so many people just don't understand its the most selfless sacrifice you can make. And it's a choice all coming from love and what's best for your child.
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