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your neice
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This patient support community is for discussions relating to adoption costs, foster children, adoption planning, Adoption Resources, adoption in foreign countries, birth parents, emotional issues, family issues, interracial adoption, legal issues, newborns, parenting, school issues, teens, toddlers, open adoption, and step parent adoption.

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your neice

she is her mom and she should call her mom youre her caregiver but not her mom
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22 Comments Post a Comment
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165308_tn?1323190145
Pretty in pink...let's not start this again...you need to deal with your own demons and not try to cut down another person's decision.  You are entitled to your opinion, but please do not start negating or being so defiant of other people's decisions.
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292932_tn?1209309180
I totally disagree.  She is her MOM thehiece is her birth mom.  Let's faceit...  anyone can give birth.. it takes someone very special to be a mom!!  I have a beautiful daughter who is adopted from Guatemala and I am her MOM- the woman who carried her is her birth mom.  
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Avatar_f_tn
why do people say birth mom the birthmom is the mom its her flesh and blood child a part of her noone can replace a birth mom at all its her flesh and blood child
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Avatar_f_tn
im not against adoptions at all in fact id like to adopt its just to expensive!!
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165308_tn?1323190145
I cannot understand why you have such a difficult time is saying the adoptive mother is  the mother.  I am sorry that you had such a difficult time with what happened to you and that you were misguided.  But please, stop putting the adoptive mother down and saying that she is not the mother.  The way I cannot totally understand how you are feeling about unfairly losing your child, you cannot totally understand how I feel as being an adoptive mother.  My daughter is just that...my daughter.  She calls me "mommy".  She looks to me for love, comfort and support.  No one can say that is not a "mother".
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Avatar_f_tn
how can people claim another persons child??? i dont understand that , u adoptive parents as you claim they had nothing to do with this child coming into the world nothing at all, and they claim there the childs parents??? i dont think so if GOD would have wanted them to have children he would have given them to them so oviosly it wasnt ment for them to have children that dont give them a right to claim someones elses child just because they have pappers on the child. i have my right to my opinion as anyone does here
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165308_tn?1323190145
You are SUCH A HYPOCRITE!  In another question you are asking how to adopt a child.  Now you are once again putting down adoptive parents.  Sweetie, you seem to have MANY issues going on in your head and I think you need to see a good psychiatrist.  With your anger and "mental breakdowns" on this site I doubt ANYONE would approve you to adopt a child.  

ANYONE CAN GIVE BIRTH....my God, even maggots have offspring!  That is a "no brainer".....a mother or father is a person who raises the child to be a loving, caring, well rounded individual who can succeed in life.  That is the problem with America....too many irresponsible people who cannot succeed in their own life bringing another innocent life into this world...WHAT A SHAME!!!  Thank God for our Social Service system to take these poor children away from these so-called "parents".

Another point I would like to make.  YOU HAVE NO IDEA as to the reasons why people adopt.  You just ASSUME it is because they can't have children of their own...NOT!  There are abundant reasons why people adopt.  I know many families that have biological children and adopt more because they have so much to give and want to share it with an innocent baby who needs a home.  I would LOVE for ANGELINA JOLIE and MADONNA to read your posts...They both have biological children, but have so much more to give both emotionally and physically that they openned up their home also.

You are a self-righteous individual who is very opinionated and so closed minded that it is impossible to have an adult conversation.

Enough said.
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217599_tn?1202854552
As an adopted child. now grown, and as an adoptive parent, i feel i must speak out on this one.  no-one can tell me that my son is not my son.  he is the joy of my lif along with my biological daughter.  there is no difference in the amount of or intensity of the love i have for him.  he knows who his birth mother is, but has no desire to meet her.  he says i am his mom.my parents are my parents.  not my "care-givers".  what a rotten thing to say about the people who sacrificed and loved me.   caregivers are hired help, adoptive parents are parents.  as for saying that God didn't give them to us, what a bunch of rot.  He just gave them to us in a different way.  After all, those who know God personally know that we are adopted into His royal Kingdom because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for us.  God invented adoption.

Lucy
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165308_tn?1323190145
Bravo!  You said that so eloquently!
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Avatar_f_tn
excuse me suzie q i dont have a mental problem you do if you think you can claim someones child they brought into the world, you need help if God would have wanted you to have a child he would have given you children and no everyone cant have a child thats why theres adoption
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Avatar_f_tn
sighning pappers dont make that your child anyway, its not your blood child giving birth means your the mother not someone who sighns pappers on a chils and claims to be mommy not so. you dont have the child its not yours sorry
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Avatar_f_tn
listen im not against adoptions if the parents dont want the child its fine!!! im against adoptions when the child is jeked away from the parents that want them
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165308_tn?1323190145
I am not even going to dignify your words with any comments.
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142722_tn?1281537216
My 2 cents - both are mom's - i am offended when someone says i just gave birth - he has my blood, my traits so no one can take that from me and he is my son no matter what anyone says.  with that said my son is also someone son!  His adoptive mom is his mom and she is the only one mom he has ever known and I can't take that from her - he doesn't have to call me mom, he may never get to know me, but at least he does have a mom that loves him and a dad.  I am his mom too in a different way.  I was a mom that made a choice and did what I did because I loved him - i couldn't keep him because my parents didn't want to help, so i raised him for three days and let him go - damn it sucked
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142722_tn?1281537216
I do agree, my son is the adoptive parents son and i can't take that from him - i am a mother to him but not in the same what as a mother who raises a child - just as the adoptive mother can't understand a birthmother view, the birthmother sometimes can't understand the adoptive mother view.  I feel very blessed that my son is with a great family and he is loved and happy - i am so proud and happy for him and his family - they are wonderful and love him - how great is that -
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142722_tn?1281537216
"After all, those who know God personally know that we are adopted into His royal Kingdom because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for us."  OMG what a wonderful statement - I so agree - Moses(sp) was raised by someone other then his birhmother - she always loved him - he loved his mother too the only one he knew - he came back to his birthmother and told her he loved her but also told his mother that she was there for him and loved her deeply to
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165308_tn?1323190145
I would just like to say to you that I totally respect birth mothers and bless them for allowing someone else to raise their child.  Without her birthmom. my daughter would not be here today and I pray for her every night.  My daughter (when she gets older, she is only two) will be told about her Chinese heritage and how much her birth mother loved her that she had to give her away.  I truly believe that.  I am sorry for my cankerous answers, but Pretty in Pink really just doesn't get that we are in this together.  I kinda lost it with her and her vicious comments.  

Please go back and read the poem I posted.  It is called TWO MOTHERS.  I posted it a few months ago.

Take care,
Suzi
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142722_tn?1281537216
The post is from a long time ago anyway - i read the poem.  My son has his mother - the only one he has ever know and I am ok with that and happy he has one - i will never be her and won't try to me - if anything i would be happy to get to know her and at least become friends with my son :)
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165308_tn?1323190145
You are a very understanding person and your son will be very lucky to be able to have a relationship with you also.
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212161_tn?1410016711
omg pretty in pink you need help. my sister in law has two very healthy children, but guess what . they went looking for a child who was in a foster home to give that child love and oh you will never belive this they wanted a child that had defects , why because they wanted to give this child a chance in life a home he would not have and medical help he would of never got , guess what hes their son and loves them very much, so you saying ,its for people who cant have children your WRONG, they have two but wanted to help out a child who needed a family. they are his parents he dont look nothing like them hes koren and they white but you would never know,when you see him look at his MOM and DAD that guess what God gave to HIM. THEY HAVE ALL BEEN blessed by GOD
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165308_tn?1323190145
Thank you for your story.  Prettyinpink has definite issues.  The nerve of her to pass judgement on others.  Your sister-in-law is a very special person.  I know many who also adopt children with special needs from China.  God gives families to those who deserve them...both to those who adopt and who are adopted.  It is a miracle how it all falls into God's plan.  You are the best!

Suzi
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Avatar_f_tn
As an adopted child still growing up, in this wonderful home of two people who love me more than anything i think the answer is pretty clear.
Although a have had such a hard time accepting that im different in the way that im adopted and that im still finding it hard to accept it or even talk about it.
I have a home a mom and a dad, but i cant deny the fact that two other people in the world made me, its a fact its something that can never change.
but in my family we dont talk about it all that much. and its a blessing that children who for all sorts of reasons are being left or given away, have and are given a home and a family because you might just make someone els happy.
My mom and dad are my mom and dad, my parents, the people who gave birth to me are my biological parents although a woundt call them parents beacuse being a parent is watching your child grow up, teach them how to bike, help them learn how to read and write, support them if they fail at something and be proud if achieved something
most of all they are there to love you and care for you, and give you a home.

I dont think prettyinpink is wrong to wonder because maybe she/he didnt know, maybe no one has talked to her about it. No your right signing papers dont make anyone belong to them or mean "child" but the love the parents have for the child means that thats there child.
Prettyinpink  Do NOT try to say im wrong because thats how it is!
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