i'm hoping someone is one here and can answer this quick. i woke up yesterday with my neck hurting and realized i have swollen glands down low on my neck---right between my esophagus and the tendon that runs up the side of your neck. the tendon is also sore. today it doesn't seem any better. i know swollen glands are usually a sign of infection----but i have no idea where i would have an infection. i have never had swollen glands in this area. should i see a doctor? do i need to stress dose if it is an inffection?
i don't have insurance right now and we already have a ton of medical bills. my husband is having surgery on friday and i have my appointment with the new endo next week which i'm sure will be expensive since it's a first visit---and will probably involve a bunch of blood work. my neck seems to be better today so i guess i was just overworrying-----something i'm really good at!!
why does AI cause so much anxiety and depression?? i get so anxious every day--and i don't know when it is going to hit--and i just want to cry and cry. i have been on wellbutrine, but want to quit it because i don't think it is helping. i've dropped my protonix on the off chance it could be keeping me from absorbing my meds or nutrients from my foods. i still get the shakes when things get a little hectic or i am in a hurry and need to get things done. i take clonazepam and soma to try and keep the anxiety at bay---but i usually need someone to talk me through it. i just feel like i am becoming a burden on people because i am always such a mess---emotionally and physically. some days i just want life to be over. but i have a little 7 byear old daughter and i would never leave her---i'll probably just mess her up mentally because i am such a mess and end ujp fighting with my husband all the time because i am so overly sensitive and he just doesn't understand what is going on with me--heck---i don't understand what is going on with me. fatigue is just about wiping me out and i feel like i am isolating myself more and more.how do the rest of you deal with this? can it get better than this?
From someone who has had free-floating panic attacks all of my life, and PVCs at 28,000+/day (feels like your heart is skipping) I can sympathize, and empathize and tell you that it will be ok, but when you are going through it, almost nothing anybody says really matters.
But, here goes.....
I can tell you that I've kept my sanity by finding the smallest things to appreciate and focus on when I'm in the middle of some of the worst anxiety, but it takes practice. The practice is worth it though, if it gives you back your life.
Turning away and looking for something, anything, to focus on, a picture your little girl drew, and making your mind think about the color, or the difference in line shapes from thin to thick, did she use crayon or pencil, what size is the paper, did she color inside the lines, did you help draw the picture together? did she make it for father's day?? Anything to think about besides how fast your heart is pounding.
I started to read a very good book about anxiety, called "Full Catastrophe Living". Basically it says to SLOW down and pay attention to the immediate moment. Because, we only have moments to live! Maybe countless millions, maybe only one.
I especially like the books suggestion to pay attention to eating. I love cooking and I LOVE eating. So it wasn't hard to take a bite of food, feel the texture on my lips, feel the temperature, feel it on my tongue, sweet? salty? spicy? roll it around my month, chew, feel how it gets softer before you swallow......I hope you get the idea.
It can get better than what you are experiencing, if you allow yourself to experience more....that is, pay attention to all the things you are missing when anxiety draws you away from your life, you are losing all that time to something that will pass.
Heck ya, it might come back, it might come back often, but then look at how much time you are wasting waiting for it to come and go. Forget about it. ******only took me 25 years to realize that :-))), please don't waste that much time. .
I don't know why - but I think it stems from the body's physical inability to handle stress. Most people get a physical reaction to stress of illness, accident etc but there are those that react physically to emotional stress a lot.
I know the crying thing is really ... well, I pretty much cry at the drop of a hat (commercials, sad tv, sitting around...) my hubs is why is your shirt wet??? and then I get angry and cuss like a sailor (ah - see how I can edit myself her and seem so sane!!!) just yesterday hubs thought if I had a gun someone was going to die...
Today I am fine... As for your daughter - spend time with her - really spend time - not on the phone (that just kills me lately) and like upbeat says, enjoy something be it your daughter, cooking or whatever you do - and while all of life is never stable, just enjoy the ride!
Cry at the drop of a hat? NO! Ha ha that describes us to a tee. There are some things I can't even watch or listen to because they choke me up so much. And I know I share your colorful vocabulary, dad was a heavy duty mechanic.
It may be that we are just a little different, react a little different, over or under produce too much or too little of this or that, but it makes us special.
Then we just have to, when we are in a calm moment, thank our family for being special too, who else would put up with us *smile*
i used to be able to think about whatever anxiety sensation i was feeling, realize it was just anxiety, and then let it go. i can't do that anymore because this anxiety is different than what i had before. i think maybe it is just that there have been too many changes in my life at one time and i have never done well with changes. i do remember that in the past , if i would really blow up at the kids or something, that i would get a physical sensation that would last for awhile before it went away. if i could keep myself calm and not blow up, i would not get that physical sensation. i always wondered if getting really upset set off some sort of chemical reaction in the body that caused that feeling. i wonder if i kick out a whole lot of adrenaline when that happens---or do we not produce adrenaline anymore when our adrenals aren't working?
i just need to become a productive and happy person again. i get really upset over stupid things that are not a big deal---and i don't know why. maybe i need to learn tai chi or yoga.
Upbeat - I learned my language skills at an investment bank... only woman in a group of men. Ah the good old days.
Kev - you are so not alone... I function much better on a schedule just like my in-laws with dementia. If the schedule is followed, I pretty much can handle life ok - but a deviation that is even trivial well I was in bed at 8:30 and so dead asleep I missed a phone call and the phone was on the nightstand next to me! DTTW... I have guests right now and my whole world is upside down. I love them but my body is going AAAAAGH!!!!!
What is life if not the little things! But it does take a toll.
wish me luck---i'm on my way to the new endo 3 hours away. hopefully he can shed a little more light on things---and hopefully he will do alot of things with me over the phone and let me run tests locally----i hate the trip to boise---we used to have to go there quite a bit---especially when my daughter spent 2 weeks in the hospital there.
i just found a really interesting article on the connection between anxiety and endocrine disorders---it was a little bit enlightening and helped explain a few things. if anyone is interested i'll post the address later.
Regarding having no health insurance. Our endo told us about a way to get labs / blood testing done for much less. Anyone can order these tests. You do not need a doctor's orders or prescription. You just need your doctor to tell you what to order, and then add your doctor on to receive the results.
I don't want to post the web site because I don't know yet what the rules are about this on this forum. You could search in google for: direct access "your health where it belongs....in your hands"
This is the same lab that our primary care and the endo use. The reason why they can charge less is because you pay for the tests up front, so they don't have to bill you, or insurance, or hire a collections agency when people can't pay.
Also, most States have medicaid or assistance programs that may be available to you. I hope so. And good luck and best wishes. We also don't have insurance and it is very hard and does cause anxiety.
i hope i'm not jumping the gun here and getting excited too soon---but it looks like i might have the kind of AI that can get better. this endo i saw yesterday asked the magic question that the other one didn't. he asked me if i had any steroid shots for my chronic pain. i had had two steroid shots----one in each heel, but i wasn't sure of the date or year that i had had them.
i checked on it, and i had those two shots about a month before the first endo did my blood work up that was so confusing to me!!! i could have still had plenty of steroids inh my system to be affecting my blood work and my stim test, i think. he did an ultrasound of my thyroid---and could see 3 nodules that did not concern him---i've had them for years. he told me to stay on the lower dose of armour since raising it had not helped my pain any and had given me symptoms of hyperthyroid. he also told me i didn't need to take 30 mgs of hydrocortisone----and said to lower it to 20 mgs a day. he didn't even want to run any blood work yet. i asked a few questions and he said he didn't want to make any assumptions until he had looked through all of my medical records that i had brought for him to see. i spent a LONG time trying to sort them and organize them according to date---and to eliminate any duplicates---which he said he appreciated.
he commented at one time that i seemed well informed. i take that as a compliment--but sometimes it is a little embarrassing, too, because there have been times i have known things that the dr's didn't know----just because i have so many children and we have had alot of different problems----plus, i do my homework. i had wanted to be a nurse at one time, and i love to look things up.
i realize that even if i can eventually get off of the hydrocortisone that it can sometimes take up to a year to get weaned off of it---but i love the thought of having one less thing to worry about!!
now, if i can just figure out how to get rid of the anxiety, depression and chronic pain. i'm realistic enough to know that i probably can't ever expect to be 100% again---but i do believe that i can get better than what i am.
i think i've only been on hydrocortisone for about 2-2 1/2 years, so hopefully my adrenals will kick back in.
are you telling me that the hydrocortisone can cause anxiety and depression as a side effect sometimes? if that is so---i probably would be especially susceptible since i've had problems with both of them off and on for years, mostly depression, the kind of anxiety i have been having now i have not had in a really long time.
something i am taking is giving me the shakes, and i don't know which of my meds is doing it. the endo could see that i had a tremor in my hands---and i couldn't even feel it. i wonder kind of tremor he would have seen if it was during a time when i could actually feel that i had the shakes. he also said i had a slight tremor below my lip on one side---i've never seen it, but my daughter could see it when he pointed it out. i couldn't feel it, either. he asked me if i ever get a twitching eyelid----i do occasionally. do the tremors and twitches have anything to do with adrenals or thyroid?
i was considering asking to have steroid shots in my knees because the pain in them is almost intolerable at times---but i'm thinking twice about that now. is there any way you can get a steroid shot for pain without it screwing everything up for a long time? i get the feeling that my adrenals would have kicked back into gear on their own after the shots if the first endo had not put me on hydrocortisone. i may have needed to replace the testosterone for a little while to keep my husband happy because it took quite awhile to get back to normal.
i know my pain will still be here when i get off the steroids. i took abilify and cymbalta for awhile and my depression lifted for two wonderful months---but it didn't make any difference in the amount of pain i had, so i know my pain is not depression related. i put on a ton of weight with the abilify and then it stopped working after about 2 months.
i'm just really looking forward to having one less problem to worry about and one less medication to take.
I don't know about the relationship between depression and hydrocortisone, but I know that anxiety and hydrocortisone can be linked, cortisol after all is what helps you combat stress, so too much or too little and you'd probably feel off.
I also don't know what to attribute your shakes too. If you are on several meds, I'd think that might be a cause, but high anxiety can cause it too. My hands would tremble when I was really anxious, and sometimes I'd get a little twitch, that I couldn't feel, just above my eyebrow. GREAT, everyone else could see it plain as day and ask if I was feeling too much tension or something, ha ha. The eye twitches are especially annoying because I could never rub them away, they had a mind of their own it seemed.
Hope your new dr can review your medical history and create a positive plan for you.
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