Fear of the Near Future

Hi,
I'm from the UK and am 15, will be 16 this August, this is my last year of senior (high) school before I go on to college and then University.
I have seen both my cousins graduate from Uni and have always felt much younger than them, but, now, I feel I am getting old before my time and that my childhood is slipping away from me at an alarmingly fast rate.
I am an only child, and I hate the idea of leaving my parents to go to Univeristy, it's not that they can't cope on their own, I am just really sad about the fact that I will then be "independant" and will have to cook/clean/provide for myself and I just can't see myself doing that. I want to stay in my cosy little family bubble but I know that it can't last forever.
Sometimes I get really upset and sometimes see the only way out of avoiding growing up is suicide, I know I would cause immense grief to my family but it really is the only way, in my mind, that I will stay young.
I feel like life is slipping away and that one day I will wake up, be old, and that my whole life would have just flown by.

If I am coming across as selfish, I really do not mean to, I just need someone to talk to who I don't know who will actually give me advice I will take on board and who will genuinelly try to help me, not like friends and family who just tell me "everyone gets like that".

Thanks

Kate

[Jason Greenberg, Ph.D.]

Hi Kate, thanks for your post.  I think that I was most struck by your sense that you need to find someone who you can talk to who can explore in greater depth with you your fears of growing up and getting old.   And I admit that I am biased -- I am a therapist and I have heard younger people in your age range articulate similar concerns, and I have found that by and large they benefit from having talked about these issues with me.  That's why I would urge you to seek out some help from a professional, one who will allow you to express and understand the sense of loss that you are feeling about growing up and help you to access the excitement and possibility that can be associated with growing independence.