Remembering a Tramatic Event

I can't tell you how much I appreciate a place where questions can be asked and healing can begin.  Recently, at 26 and male, I have had a breakthrough in counciling that helped me break my porn addiction.  I accepted that I was probably sexually assaulted when I was 5.  Right now I can not remember the act or the person, but only the feeling and the behaviors that came from it. One behavior included "flapping," or stimulation of the genitals by laying on stomach, putting hands near penis, and kicking legs.  My parents told me to knock it off and never dug deeper into it.  I continued this behavior well into my teens along with discovering normal masturbation.  Into adulthood, I have experienced chronic depression and anxiety.  Questions: "Does childhood sexual assault cause a behavior like flapping?"  "Have you ever heard the term "flapping" used?"  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.            

[Jason Greenberg, Ph.D.]

Thank you for your post -- I have not heard the term "flapping," so I cannot say too much about it, though it seems like what you're describing sounds like self-stimulating behavior (i.e. masturbatory) that a child might partake in. While it sounds like you have already been discussing this with your therapist, if you haven't, I would recommend you bring up your concern about this with him/her, as the two of you have a much more thorough understanding of you, and would likely be able to make better sense of this behavior.

[innerchild09]

I don't know much about sexual problems. I don't know if that can cause flapping. But it could be part of a bigger issue. You should see a doctor a phychiatrist or something. Also flapping can be used with other disorders like autism or something. Or it could be a habit or something.

[Jaquta]

I think anxiety can be expressed in a number of different ways.
I have read that people can reenact things that happened to them in childhood.
It is normal for people who have experienced traumatic events to forget details.

I personally have not heard of the term flapping in that context.

I would be extremely cautious about recovered memories in therapy.  I have heard that they are not always that accurate.  I am not saying that yours aren't, I am just saying be careful.

From a lay persons perspective the depression and anxiety are symptoms of some underlying issue/s.    I think you are right to be addressing those with a therapist.

Good luck with therapy and getting closure on your issues.

[psyvamp]

I have not heard the term"flapping'... but i do recall my sister babysitting as a 15 year old, two  little boys ages maybe 3 and 5.... I walked in one day and one of them was lying on top of my sisters dog, basically "humping" it.... I asked him what are you doing? and his reply was "mash feel good'...and then something I cannot remember exactly, about his daddy and "mash" feeling good....so the particular phrase may be related to individual experience... BTW- I did contact proper authorities regarding the aggressive  and sexual nature of the boys and their replies... CPS did step in... That was 20 years ago, and I would do the same again.... Sorry to have gotten off topic, there... But it is very possible that you could have been sexually abused as a child-- and that the term along with the method of stimulation stems from that. As for dealing with it-- how you choose to is your choice-- but no matter what the outcome ( who, what, when, etc.) YOU are still you, and it was not your fault, and you have survived this far-- and you will survive on. Best wishes....