mother son relationship

At what age should a son begin to become independent of his mother and his need for her love and affection, especially in public? Should a thirteen year old son still be happy and pleased with calling himself "momma's little baby" in front of other people?

[Jason Greenberg, Ph.D.]

Hi,

I cannot with any certainty comment on your post based on the information given.  At first glance, it sounds unusual; however, it is hard to say more, not knowing information such as: how long this has been going on, if there was a specific event that preceeded this behavior, if you notice other behaviors of concern or is this the only one.  If you have a chance, please elaborate as I and others would try to be helpful if possible.

[wishforchange]

Hello, such a brief question, and consequently do difficult to answer!  It is not clear from your question who has the problem, is it you or your son?  If your son is spontaneously calling himself 'momma's little baby', this raises different issues to if it is you calling him this in public.  Either way, it is still very difficult to generalize without a fuller picture.  I sense you are maybe comparing your child to his peer group, and yes, generally at 13 boys would be uncomfortable with this type of display of affection.  But that is no more than a generalization and stereotype -  there are different cultures, family dynamics, personalities....so many factors.  You need to establish first who is having the problem with this, you or him, then to establish if there is a problem, maybe by examining your other interactions with him or seeking the advice of a family counsellor, and ultimately decide if there really is a problem after all.  Every child is unique, every parent, every family, and while there are common developmental phases we all go through it is not too helpful to judge yourselves against some common standard.  If you want to write in again with more detail, you are very welcome and I'm sure someone will respond.  Or you may wish to deal with this question another way.  Sorry I cannot be of more help, but maybe you will get other responses here which hold different opinions.  I hope you find resolution to your query.