Hello all. My name is Stephanie and I am new to the forum. I am desperately reaching out for help regarding my 20 year old brother. Quick history - He has moderate MR with an IQ of 65. He has a variation of Klinefelter's Syndrome called XXYY Syndrome. This genetic disorder causes extreme mood fluctuations, aggression, and violent outbursts. The syndrome also has caused him to reach a height of 6' 8" and a weight of around 270 lbs (my parents are 5'8 and 5' 6").Recent events are making his ability to continue living with my parents impossible as they cannot control or restrain him when he becomes aggressive. He is unable to understand the consequences of his actions and once he becomes angry, nothing will calm him down. He has been arrested twice in the past week due to his aggression (once towards a police officer and once towards a former friend). He expresses serious suicidal thoughts and possible (but in my opinion unlikely to actually occur) homicidal thoughts/intentions. He is currently in the in-patient psychiatric unit at our local hospital. He is being medicated with Depakote, Haldol, and Ativan (horrible combination but this calms him down and makes him drowsy). We have been to multiple psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapist with no help.
My questions concern possible placement sites or residential center that will accept him with his combination of MR, suicidality, aggression/violence, and his large stature. We can not find ANYWHERE that will take him. He is only able to stay in the hospital for a few more days and then it's off to the jail to be processed. If he is released to my parents, he will fight them and get out of their house to go find his "friends" and possibly become violent towards them again, resulting in more arrests. We want to avoid him staying in jail at all costs. Does anyone know of anywhere that may be able to help??? The social worker at the hospital is clueless and we have tried multiple agencies in our area (chicago and suburbs). We are willing to travel to any state in the US and cost is not an issue. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thank you.
I have some similar back round. I was a scrapper years of Haldol and tranqilizers calmed me down allot. I still have a short fuse. Most places wont put up with violence in fact no one will.. I went homeless for two years and found myself in treatment often. Group homes were nice for a while but not much for independance.
Eventually your brother will start to see the consequences of his temper, anger management might help that and finding a different way to vent maybe sports or writing.
Right now he maybe punished for his fighting but then he can get therapy afterwards if he can tollerate it.
All you and your family can do is pray for him and let go.
I am sorry if this seems harsh, but the consequences will eventually show him another way.
I have spent 22 years working with adults and children with mental retardation, as well as with other challenges. I have worked with folks in similar situations to your brothers. Does he have a supports coordinator (may call it something different in your state)? Is he registered with your county's department of human services?
In my state, I supervise a team of supports coordinators (SCs). Their job is to assist families in crisis like yours. First thing you need to do is find out if he has an SC. If so, get on the phone to them asap and tell them in great detail what is going on. If he does not have an SC, the first thing to do is get one..fast. If you need help finding info on your county's DHS, I can help you. If you like I can even call and ask questions for you (just general, no names, etc - they couldn't talk to anyone but family). Just find out how similar or different the system in your state is from mine. Here in PA, we have a specific system in place for crises like your brother's. Each state does, but they are not always the same.
It is possible that he may be better served by the mental health end of the DHS, given his behaviors. However, I have to tell you we have folks here with similar behaviors who learn to function well in a community living arrangement - a home with 2 to 3 housemates and 24 hour awake staff.
I have to respectfully disagree about letting him go. He has mental retardation and an IQ of 65 - that would be assisted suicide. He would not survive on his own, no matter how big he is. He would end up dead or incarcerated.
Please find those few things out for me and get back to me. This is what I do for a living. I can help you, but I need more info. I will no tlie to you, there are more people needing placement than there are placements. Only true emergencies get in. This is a true emergency.
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