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Care Homes

Hi I wondered how many parents on here had to place their youngster into a care home due to not being able to cope with them any longer at home?

I had to do this last year when my son was 17. Glen who has ASD and learning and behavioural difficulties had become extremely aggressive in his teens particularly the last couple of years prior to 17. He would hit and kick me with extreme force and also hit himself in the head and eye giving himself a black eye which was awful. I had to make the painful decision last year in seeking help from social services and then it was agreed that Glen went into this home in May. He is doing very well, his aggressive has lessoned since being in the home which is good. He comes home some weekends.

I would love to hear back from others who are in the same situation as me. Thanks
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1260240_tn?1336081048
Hi all would really love to hear some comments from you there must be some of you in the same position, if not in a residential then a residential maybe??  Please I would love to hear your situations.

Glen is coming home tomorrow for the weekend, I always get a bit nervous before he comes as sometimes he is anxious and sometimes he is fine, so hopefully it will be the latter. :-))

I will let you folks how it all goes, look forward to hearing from you.
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Avatar_f_tn
You be safe, you know that ppl are use too the same so soon he will be 18yrs old help him stay on his own for your good..
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1260240_tn?1336081048
Thanks very much for your comments I do appreciate what you have and I know it is for the best for him and for myself.  He is in very good hands.
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Avatar_m_tn
Dear Jeanne61,

I am happy for you that you have found a solution that seems to be working for Glen.  I hope that he will continue to make improvements and that he will get all the care that he needs.  I am sorry for you as a mom to have to part with your dear son.  I hope that all will work out for your family.

Because Glen is 17 yrs. old, you probably did not have all the options available to him as a child that are now available to children with ASD.  It is good that ASD is now being recognized and that insurance plans and schools are starting to provide services.  But that is for the younger and future generations of kids.  You must have gone through so much with Glen from infancy til 17.  And so many services that were then not available to him.  I can understand why you would place him in a group home for his benefit.

I plan never to put my child into a group home unless I become totally incapacitated or if it is over my dead body.  It is not that I have not explored group home living to gain an understanding of it because I have.  It is just that I do not feel that it would be the best thing for my child.  My child is, of course, free to chose.  In that case, I would change my mind.

I hope you have some wonderful week-ends and visits together.

Cead

Blessings to Glen
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1260240_tn?1336081048
Hi Cead, nice to hear from you, how are things going for you at the moment?
I never imagined that I would have to place Glen in a home but I didn't have any choice.  You say that you would never do that well thats what I said when my child was very young but unless you have been in my situation you cannot understand just how bad things were.

Glen had been extremely aggressive since the start of puberty and the last 2 years he was at home from 15-17yrs of age his aggression got much more extreme.  He would hit himself with so much force that he gave himself a black eye! Not just hitting himself but he hit me and my husband, but particularly me on numerous occasions, I don't know how many times I cried.

Glen is now 18 and it is coming up for a year next week that he's been in the care home and he's getting on very well. They are very pleased with his progress he is less aggressive but still has spells of aggression as he did about 2 weeks ago when he broke his stereo and t.v. in his room :-(

However, overall Glen is definitely benefiting from being there and I as his Mum won't be around forever.  I would rather he be somewhere where his is well looked after and he is happy so that when I am no longer around he will be ok.

Glen is one of only 5 young people in the care home and there is a lot of staff so he has 24 hour all the time which he needs.  I do not think that Glen will be able to live independently in the future and so will always need somewhere like where he is at the moment.

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