Caring for a partial disabled parent

My mother lives with my sister and I. She is some what independant. She walks with a cane, she can't use her left arm. We help her with showers, getting dressed, shoes, food, those kinds of things. My sister and I work during the day to support our children and take care of ourselves. My issue is, my mother gets up many times at night to use the restroom and we are having to get up with her. Which of course we don't get much sleep. And my anxiety of her falling or her trying to do things in the middle of the night is making my life hard. My job is hard, the amount of people in my home is hard to deal with, I have someone here during the day to do things for my mother and just make sure no accidents happen while we are at work. And then we my sister and I get home we help my mother, but then we go to bed, I can't sleep of fear of her falling or having a siezure (which she hasn't had in a while). or her calling to get help because she needs to use the restroom or she did't make it to the restroom in time because she is having problems making it to the bathroom for some reason. My main problem is the night time. I am so overwhelmed with everything going on it is making me crazy. Does anyone know of anyone who doesn't charge 50k a year to come hang out at someone's house doing whatever they would like to and just make sure my mother doesn't have any issues getting to the bathroom? Does that sound horrible. I want my mother to go live in a retirement home but she refuses. She is only 55 and is suffering from brain cancer. She has had 3 brain surgeries which have paralyzed her left arm and her left leg is weak. For the most part we do everything, bringing her her food (she can feed herself), helping her with a shower. Help her get dressed. Anyone have any ideas for this.. Or to help me not feel so horrible about having to stop my life to do this. I have a 14 year old, and my sister has a 8 year old and a 6 year old and we are not really able to do things any more.We take turns leaving the house but someone always has to be here.

[jo929]

Have you tried putting an add in the newspaper, it is hard to get anyone to saty at night, my mom was in her 80 she got sick and could not walk and she kept me up all night i was working and my husband had cancer well i finally against her wished put her in nursing home for 3 weeks untill i could quit my job when i got her home her teeth would not stay in she had lost weight she had pnewmonia she died 7 days later it was a no caring nursing home, i have heard things are better now this has been 14 years ago but if you have a family to feed and have to work you do not have much of a choice  i do hope things turn out ok for all   jo

[specialmom]

The problem with nursing homes is that you don't always know what is going on (especially in the middle of the night when no visiters are there).  For example, that is often when the bath residents.  They pick them up, strip them, put them in a shower and then into bed wet-----  at 3 am.  Some places are probably better though-----  but it is a situation where you have to trust what is happening and moniter it all closely.  Sadly, I think your mother would probably shrink away without the family contact.  Staff is only with those in a nursing home so much-----  basic needs are met but that is it.  

While she is still in your home, why don't you and  your sister trade nights.  That way, every other night you get a really good night sleep.  

I'd also look for someone to come on Saturday afternoon or Sunday afternoon-----  so you all can both get out to do things with your kids.  Place an ad, pay a decent amount per hour and go.  

Wishing you lots of luck and peace with this.