My husband and I were both disabled by a drunk driver at a young age (I was 26, he was 29). We were married only 1.5 years before the MVA. We never really got the chance to start our family.
Now, 6 years later, we are still overcoming many challenges (you can all relate!!) but i guess you could say my biological clock is ticking - I am 32 now - but we both have so many fears and insecurities about being parents with disabilities. I guess I'm looking for some advice, encouragement & I'd love to hear your story! :) I know it can be done - but it's hard to find resources around being disabled and parenting.
What kinds of disabilities do you both have? If you each have different strengths and weaknesses, then your individual skills make a good complement to each other. In my opinion, teaching your children to be good, respectful citizens is the most important part of parenting - not playing with them, not buying them things, not constantly providing entertainment. You both have your senses and are more than capable of doing the most important thing with a child. If you need someone to come in and help with the more physically necessary things, then hire a nanny. Financial planning is a big part of family planning, so start saving now (if you haven't already) anticipating you'll need to hire some help. It would be forever - just the first few years until the child is mostly self-sufficient.
And don't forget to think outside the box. I'll bet you're both far more capable than you believe. Plenty of people thinking about their first child have exactly the same fears that you do, so you aren't alone. :-)
Hey, I hear ya, I was fired from my job because I became dissabled due to illness but I didnt give up, Hubby and I had same job and he could see that we could not survive on his pay alone and a small medical coverage plan so he quit and we went into caring for others, it is a full time job but we got two young guys who are fun to be with and the one who is in wheel chair of course came with equipment for lifting, so here is the thing,,,
We had to talk about this before it started and like Jaybay said there are things you might be able to do for each other that will compliment your living as a family. My hubby is doing things I never thought he would but is all because we decided toghether what we would both like to do and so I basically got all the short standing kinda jobs and ones that dont have to be done in such a timely manner but still need to be kept up on my own time, he does immediate stuff that the guys would depend on being done like feeding the young one in wheelchair which takes a longer time standing. it is easy to figure out if you both really want it to happen, talking it out for us made sure we really wanted to do it and saved us going broke or possibly losing our mortgage, we are now two happy people doing what we want and I know you can be. Do what you need to first, like said above, save up, talk about it and make sure you both really want it to happen, even set up things in the house so both of you are able to do things that support daily living and caring. Good luck with it.
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