Adults with Special Needs Community
What do i do with my brother
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to basic needs, caregivers, day-to-day living, education and learning, family and friends, financial issues, insurance, hearing loss, medical Equipment and assistive technology, motor and movement, speech and communication, transportation, and vision.

Font Size:
Blank Blank

What do i do with my brother

My older brother is late thirties.

He was not a model child but nice kid until he started computer games.
Playing games consumed his life. from age 14 till now, and maybe rest of his life, only he does is gameplaying.

He quit community college to play game, doesn't meet friends, not interested in women, only plays game 24/7.

The problem is, he is living depend on us. My dad retired and mom and I are working to support family, my brother does nothing, even a single chore. He asks mother to make him everyday meals like he is 12 years old. When mom is too busy he spends family money on expensive take-out meals.

he doesn't work, doesn't do dish washing, doesn't even make his own meals, doesn't clean a cup he used, and still  demands everything he wants. Expensive computer parts, new chair, playstations, expensive outfits...

He is a living human trash. I always want to kill him but I don't know how to kill someone without forensic evidence so i won't do it, don't worry.

When we ask him to work or even do some chores, he gives tantrum like a child. He is tall and strong, no one in the family can control him.

He doesn't beat us nor commit any crime, so we don't have any excuse to send him away. My parents once told him to get out, but he grabbed door like a rock, refusing to get out, we gave up.
I once asked mom and dad to call police or ward to get rid of him, but they said they still love him to do that.
anyway he doesn't show any visible mental illness. He is healthy, not violent when we don't interrupt him.

Mom still loves him and gives him most thing he wants, dad is powerless doing nothing, I work like ant to support him and family, and the worst part is, my brother doesn't appreciate anything we do, take everything for granted.

Can't kill him, can't send him to ward or facility,
once my parents said they love him so much 'they want to take care of him till he becomes fifties.'

What do I do with my brother? He is sucking our blood.
7 Comments Post a Comment
It happens,parents always love there kids as they are always small and loving for them, just try to convince ur parents and make them understand.what will your brother do after your parents are not there? ask your parents as they dont want to see your brother married and having his own family? just take make your parents understand all this things and i think your brother has addiction for games, take help from some pyschologist or some specialist who can divert his mind to some work ....Sorry if i said some thing worng...Good luck.
Thx for your reply,
It's sad to say we've already tried things you mentioned.

My brother is like 12 years old, he can't manage any relationship, mom is worried he might give tantrum to his wife so gave up on about marriage.
And she is hoping when my brother gets old, maybe government would take care of him.
and about addiction, he refuses to go therapy. He is strong and bad tempered when he is agitated so we can't make him go there.

Hopeless isn't it?
Anyway thx :( Maybe I did something wrong in my past life so I'm getting punished for it. No way out.
Whoever is paying for his games and his internet access needs to stop paying for them.  

And probably it might be a good idea if you moved out of the house and began a life on your own.
1. If we cut the internet connection, maybe he'll try to kill us. If you saw his tantrum just once, you'll believe me.

2. Mom and I are running a store. I'm handling complicated things and mom does simple things. If I leave, mom would be devastated. I can't leave.....
Well same here!!!!
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I think your brother has become what he is now because no one has stood up to him for too long. I know it is going to be difficult but someone has to firm up. It is not only for your brother but for your whole family, as he is sucking the life out of you guys.
He must not be allowed to continue living as he does now. For starter, stop succumbing to all his whims. Do not prepare his meals when he ask. Do not pick things up for him. Cut his internet access. Do not let him get near the family cash.
He would definitely throw tantrums but do not give in. As you've mentioned, he is not violent, so the farthest he would probably do is to break a few things. You can call the police then, if he does that.
You and your parents need to make him realize that he must start shaping up because you will not always be around to answer all his whims.
I hope the best for you and your family.
we cut the internet connection, maybe he'll try to kill us. If you saw his tantrum just once, you'll believe me.
Post a Comment
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Adults with Special Needs Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
TMJ/TMJ The Connection Between Teet...
Jan 27 by Hamidreza Nassery , DMD, FICOI, FAGDBlank
Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm-treatable... Blank
Oct 04 by Lee Kirksey, MDBlank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top General Health Answerers
United Kingdom
Somewhere ?, United Kingdom