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Avatar universal

life is difficult

I am married male 43 years of age with a child. I have been married since last years. My wife is very loving. I also love her very much. I have also satisfied sexual life.  At times she insults me. She sometimes calls me enunch. She says I am not earning much, insults my family. Basically she is lovely person with short temper. Now I started to go to dance bars, prostitute to overcome my depression. I think my mother in law is chaning her thinking. My mother in law and father in law asks my wife for money. I think my wife is innocent and they are using her and me. I have given them lot of money which I know I will never get back.
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Avatar universal
Just want to remind you that strippers and girls youtake home can and will take advantage of you. And much worse than you believe you wife or her family can. No judgement.
Helpful - 0
6914279 tn?1389057600
Idk if you're religious or not but, Pray to god to keep you and your marriage strong. God changes things in such a mysterious way! Its not even funny, God has blessed me and my husband so much, our marriage is great. We try our best to keep our marriage sane and we try our best to follow gods commandments. I guarantee you that you will see a difference with him in your life..  Prayer and Patience. Do it with all of your heart! Talk your wife into it as well, do it together.  
Helpful - 0
4851940 tn?1515694593
My advice is for you to stop going to the bars and prostitutes, it will make things much worse for you in the long run.  You are in effect "burying your head in the sand" rather than confront the problem with your wife's outburst and giving money to in-laws head on.

Face up to your wife and put your foot down with her so to speak.  When you are both calm and relaxed and your child is in bed asleep, speak with your wife by telling her that you are not going to tolerate this behaviour from her and that your first priority is her (your wife and child).  Take more control of your money and do not give any more money to help your in-laws.  Her parents have had their life and they are responsible for themselves.  It is not your duty to keep bailing them out of financial problems.  The more you give them, the more they will keep asking for and they will never learn how to manage their financial affairs.  Sometimes you have to be a bit cruel to be kind.  This type of situation is putting a strain on your and your wife's happiness.

Your wife on the other hand is torn between you and her parents.  She will need help to "cut the apron strings".  Her first priority and commitment is to you (her husband) and your child.

With her temper and nasty outbursts, it may be that these are related to her menstrual cycle and could be a hormonal issue.  Many women do and say things out of their control a few days running up to their menstrual cycle.  This is referred to Premenstrual cycle (PMS) sometimes referred to as Premenstrual Tension (PMT).  If this is the case, the doctor will be able to help.

Keep a written record of when she gets these outburst to see if there is a pattern to this to see if it is linked near her period (menstrual cycle) time.  If there is no link to the monthly cycle, then she is manipulating you to make you feel guilty to help her parents financially.  This is a form of bullying and you must stand your ground and not be allowed to be treated in this way.

It will not be easy for you to be firm and keep a tight control of your money, but if you do not do anything about this and carry on giving in to your wife and bailing out her parents, it will in the long run ruin your health and relationship with your wife - don't allow this to happen.

Best of luck.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
ok, kinda confused, how could your wife be loving and say such things? i am not sure if your confessing or asking a question but seeing prostitutes is wrong regardless if she is insulting you and her family using you both, it will just cause problems and you will bring them home to your family, be careful out there, you can transmit STD or AIDS. good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow. First of all, DONT GO TO BARS!!! I have a problem with being short tempered, and that's the last thing you should do. Focus on raising your child right and being the best husband you can be. As far as the in-laws, talk to your wife about it very calmy and don't sound cocky or stubborn. Idk what else to tell you. I hope I helped a little
Helpful - 0
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