tortured soul better graces

[freddy3rd]

if you have never been in a state mental institution let me tell what to expect from my nightmares.
what brought you here asked one attendant?
tell them anything cause they will ask you over and over and over.
7 times I told my story about being slipped a mickey.

Can I leave? ................wait..............wait............wait.............
here take this (pill)
now here is where you have reached a cross road if you take it you are compliant and will suffer from its effects if you do not and say no that is an act of defiance and you will be considered a threat or hostile. so you are faced with comitment or a week of observation renewable by a judge. If you were not diagnosed with a serious mental illness before you are now and the nurses and bouncers (security) will be in to administer your medicine.
hours may go by before you notice the affects of the drug if you never had it before. Soon your tongue will start to swell in your throat your neck will twist as you choke into unconciousness a seizure will start usually a gran mall seizure.
When the nurse gets off their *** they will shoot you with cogentin a anti-parkinsonian drug to stop the "side Effect".

you are now ready to be treated. This horrified young  person I was at that time met shortly with the doctor and was asked some tripped up questions.I have replayed it in my sleep over and over for 35 years now.

this reaction caused the chemical imbalance you now have...............
it is irreversible......................................
and you may be informed you will be on medicines the rest of your life.
with all that in mind you are faced with a violation of human rights known only to the Psychiatric wards all over the world.
If you have not already been it is usually first all your belongings are taken away the longer your stay the less likely you will ever see that stuff again they are vaued and you are given some papers to explain you (lack of) rights.you may or not be told what you are being treated for either major depression, skitzophrenia, or manic depression for a long time but which style of drugs may ellude to that via your new menu of treatment options.
The rest of the treatment consists of neglect and imature groups that just talk or make noise, art therapy is your treat and your appearancewill change from weight gain or involutary muscle movements.(Twitching)
every mannerism you ever had is evaulated and diagnosed
you are being broken down
if depression did not start yet you will be evaluated for it.
your life is now under the desisions of doctors and judges social workers and advocates.
they come and go like water over a dam, often escorted by a herd of patients wanting their attention.
if you can focus on what to say during your weekly five minute doctor visit he will increase or decrease your medicines and offer you other ones.
now with this awful fear of dying it seems like the best option sometime and I envy those who had the guts to  take their own life. selfish or not permanant or not their is no recourse there is no justice you are disabled a now in poverty on federal welfare known as social security or suppliment isurance and the hospital may be the best place you will be in.
Money is your only advocate and on drugs you cant make any.
welcome to my nightmare
fred

[freddy3rd]

FYI doctors are the eighth leading cause of death in the USA.

[pennst8r]

I can see why you have nightmares...that is truly awful. I have visited many institutions and have always extremely glad to leave.

Sorry it took so long for a reply...I've been away from my computer for a few weeks. Work is really taking all my time, even after hours.

I love your 8th leading cause of death in the US...so true

Penn

[tzzst]

your right once your in a hospital you literally must take their meds, and typically, showing resisitance to them helps getting out in one peace, but trying to go along with that they want for you, is literally the best way out of that situation, and they may not get the meds right either, and often the doctors that are in charge of wrting the meds don't come around often enough to straighten out any problems after the initial intake medication.  i do think it all perspective thing though.  i'd rather be in a hospital and on meds then out on the street and homeless, they say, attitude, and how we look at things is everything.   SSI isn't so bad, beats not having insurance at all, or no income at all.  in many other countries, people would be left to die.  

[tzzst]

btw, you said slipped a Mickey.  i didn't see that.  i've been drugged twice in my life so you have my sympathy.  in both cases, they got away.  truely horrible.  i'm sorry.  the medical community has ways of dealing with these things though based on your blood work.  it doesn't make it right, and its awful that we should have to go out of our way to fix what someone did wrong to us in the first place.

[jo929]

Freddy Freddy Freddy i have worked in a state mental hosp for 40 years, and i think you may be stretching it a bit, i have seen many peole get well and i myself loved caring for these people and i did not see what you have just maybe things have changed remember about reading years ago where all of the mentally ill were thrown in prisons and fed scraps of bread and remember the people who fought to get them out and into hospitals someone cared enough the liberty bell is made up of shackles and chains that were around the legs of the mentally ill and who got them out the people that cared and i care state hosps do care now maybe you had a bad one at least you can have a meal now, and you could always refuse the meds no one pokes them down your throat  jo