Living With Agoraphobia and What People Doesn't Understand!

[Meena715]

I am thirteen years old, and I have dealt with Agoraphobia for two years. What I am actually feeling to make me so depress is for example; when you are fearful about going on a roller coaster like someone is making you go and when your actually on that roller coaster your stomach is dropping like crazy. That's exactly what I am feeling. The dropping emotion as if I am like falling. And whenever this "feeling" of mine happens, I hurry up and panic and I know it may sound a little "crazy" but I scratch my left hand until I start bleeding just so I cant feel my stomach dropping. Now I have so many darn bruises and scratch marks on my hand and sometimes people look at me like I am crazy.

Its been really hard for me to deal with something like this because Its really hard for me to just do the normal things that I use to do with no problem. Now its hard for me to talk to people and look at them in their eyes, and shake peoples hands to greet them. And whenever I do, I get myself into a position were I cannot escape. Sometimes I can't leave my house because I am so scared that I will have to do something that triggers my stomach from dropping.

What people doesn't understand about how I am feeling is that a lot of things causes my stomach to drop. I hate when my stomach drops, and a lot of things make it happen, and I am so scared that I will have to get myself in that type of position to make it happen. So many people would think of me as a "hermit" and that doesn't make me feel no better then what I feel now. I use to be out-going and talkative when I was younger but ever since in 2007 when I was in the fifth grade. Now I am self-conscious, NOW I care what people think of me because I am afraid that people will see the look on my face whenever my stomach is dropping. I am now taking Mega B-Stress to help the depression but it isn't helping with the "falling" emotion in my stomach. My mom doesn't think I should take any medications so I am trying to find natural cures like herbs and stuff like that. I was drinking Lemon Balm  and Camomile herbs and that kind of helped the "falling"
Whenever I look at other people its like. Whoa. I wish I could be normal.
If anyone. Feels the same way I feel. Please contact me so I don't think that I am not the only one who has to suffer this destroyer!

This is so frustrating and so depressing. I once tried to commit suiside because I had enough of what people assumed about me, but I never knew that there was a name from I am feeling!

[ducky8]

My heart goes out to you in a big way.  You're so young to have to experience all this, but it is what it is, so all you can do is start from here.  
I have a granddaughter who suffers from panic attacks too, and she's only 10, so you're not alone.  I'm sure there's many kids out there who feel the same way you do.  (Adults, too).......But alot of people don't talk about it, so I bet we'll never really know how many there are who suffer from this.  
I think the feeling you have of your stomach "falling" is really an adrenelin rush, which is the body's first (and normal) response to fear.
Scratching your hand is your way of distracting yourself from the feeling of panic, which is also a normal response to the situation, although a bit extreme.    
I can't stress enough how important therapy would be for you.  Please tell your mom to think about getting you to a therapist soon, and it will help you so, so much.  Then you, your mom and your therapist can decide what the best course of treatment would be.  The therapist will also teach you other ways to distract and calm yourself.  
Just make sure that it's a therapist who specializes in panic disorder.
My granddaughter went to therapy, and she's pretty much back to her old self again.  She doesn't suffer from anxiety anymore.  

I'll be thinking of you.  Please post again and let us know how you're getting along.  
Blessings to you.....
DUCKY

[dana007]

Hey there,
I'm sorry you have to deal with this at such a young age. I'm only 25 and have problems with pain-- and I have done the same thing as you-- looked at others and wish I was 'normal' but no matter who you are, we all have issues of some sorts that need to be worked out, some a little more severe than others that need more time and care, like you and me here. What ducky said above here, is a good piece of advice for you. I go see a psychologist myself every month, and we talk about everything-- from how I feel in certain situations, and how to channel those feelings to not feel so anxious. We also talk about how to improve my functioning in society, because just like you, I feel as though I need to isolate myself to prevent what I feel will be inevitable if I go outside: you feel anxious, and I feel pain. Its a long learning process but we have a lot of time as we're so young to learn what works for us, and you really need to put the effort in to making you better girly!!

I would encourage you to make sure you eat a very balanced diet, and get daily exercise (I really recommend yoga-- it helps de-stress, and focus your throughts, with many physical and mental benefits), drink lots of water, see a therapist/psychologist regularily, and do stretching/meditation/relaxation techniques (hot bath, massage, candles, reading a book, etc) every night before bed, and in the morning if you can, to help you set your thoughts for the day. For example, in the morning, do some stretching with eyes closed, and set an intention for the day, such as "I will eat a good breakfast and go for an hour walk today with a friend, and say I have control over myself and will only do things that make my body feel good". If you believe yourself, you will do the things you believe in. Go for a walk in an area that you are familiar with, and each day make a goal of walking down a new street; take your time. Also make sure you're getting a good amount of sleep every night, regularly if you are not currently.

Try not to worry about what other people think of you sweety. We are what we are, and although we can try to make the best of things and live the best we can,  our lives are about us-- not about what someone else says. It just shows how they live, and how little they care, and has nothing to show for your character only their negative character. Treat others as how you would want to be treated yourself-- they will get negativity coming back to them as much as they give it out to you, in due time. It always does!

I know sometimes its hard to talk about things, but you've definitely come to the right place. We all have something in common on this website, although for a wide variety of reasons, we all are reaching out to people around us for support, and we are here for you! If you ever need to talk, message me privately. Dana... take care!