Suggestion Please(furneral is gonna be tought)

[MzAnn2]

Hi my new found and very helpful friends..I lost my ex mother-in-law last night to pancreatic cancer.Well this is where my story begans  the family was told to get to the hospital quick..but I was stuck in the house felt like i was in quick sand..the more i want to go and be there for her last breathe and to support my daughter and ex husband the more my panic set in..and i thought of how terrible it would be.long story short i didnt make it the travel was far for me...but its not over because the funeral is coming up and its a bit of a travel..so do i double or triple up on the xanax to make it there, or do I take the coward way out and just say i can;t make it..:( if it where you what would you do??????????? all my agoraphobia and/or panic attack suffers...HELP!!!!   :(***

[MrGreen]

Honest answer. Who would I be to write anything but. I missed my own dad's funeral. My family knew in advance I couldn't cope with the church. I went to the burial. But it didn't bother me to miss the church side of things because I knew even my dad would understand. How much does your family know about your condition would be my first question? If they are aware of your situation they should be understanding. I would not go mad popping xanax. You'll knock yourself out. If you take 1 as a rule and took 3 all you would want to do is sleep anyway. Been there before. Long train journey. So I took a few xanax and my eyes just kept closing over. I was more glad when they wore off to be honest. So with me it comes down to how much your family know. You can visit the grave at a later date when you are up to it.

[Angie_K]

Hi, Im really sorry to hear about what you are going through. I have PD with agoraphobia for years though it seems to come in cycles.

Funerals are very important in my opinion. You may feel worse by avoiding going.

This is what I would do.

From now until you go take care of yourself, eat well, get extra sleep. Start packing in advance so you don't have to stress the night before or the day before you leave. Start taking extra meds three days, or at least two days before you go. Make sure you are with someone you trust such as your husband or adult child.  Pray for peace.  If you start panicing at the thought of going, just say to yourself the decision has been made and you are going and then go do something to distract yourself, like washing the dishes or cleaning your car or house.

You will feel so good afterwards that you went and you will be proud of yourself that you were able to go.

Believe me, I had agoraphobia so bad at one point I couldn't do our grocery shopping.

Best of luck