This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.
It's cold, careless, hateful, rude, reckless, immature, gross, dirty, smelly, selfish, abusive, greedy, fat, lazy, thin, weak, dumb, ugly, angry, neglectful, absent, ignorant, childish, lonely, two-faced, cheats, lies, steals, kills and waste what was given us most precious! Happiness Love and family.........
So god help those who wonder if there drinking partner is worth keeping. It's pretty clear isn't it?
I would have agreed with you up until a week or so ago...
My entire family is full of alcoholics, and I've seen a lot of bad things happen to good people.
I watched my mom and dad fight and divorce, seen aunt's and uncle's do the same...
I watched my dad die a horrible, painful death just before Christmas because of his precious beer. He never attended my Graduation, and barely made it to my wedding. He was never there for me past the age of 12 because his Legion campouts, and other booze related FUN was more important than my brother and I...that hurt.
But...he was still my dad...and I loved him.
I watched my own life fall apart because of hubby's drinking...
But you know what? Sometimes hanging on can pay off.
After years of slowly killing himself with booze my hubby has stopped drinking!
...and there is not one single sign of him going back to that stuff.
So many times in the past I had thought of leaving...and now I'm glad that I hung on.
4 weeks ago I was packing bags...on the 21st I watched him die in front of me...it was touch and go for a week but he's 100% ok now.
He now showers, brushes his teeth, eats 3 meals a day, plays with our son, and so many other things that the beer "prevented" him from doing in the past.
SO...up until a week or so ago, I would have agreed with you 100% !
But now I believe that there is hope. Alcoholics CAN stop drinking, and there are many on this site who have done just that. I am SO proud of ALL of them.
So no...it is not clear. It is not the fault of the people drinking...it is the poison and the brainwashing that they are being fed that keeps them drinking.
Those that stay do so for many different reasons. Some for religious reasons, some because of the true love they have for the other person, and some because they have no where else to go.
This is the best explanation I can think of as to why most people stay:
If your significant other sneezed or coughed or came down with chicken pox, would you leave them? Of course not. You would stay and try to help them get over thier sickness...and THAT is why most of us stay...we want to help. We know that there is nothing we can do, but...if I saw a drowing man, I would surely throw him a rope and not an anchor...I would not turn my back on someone that was drowning.
Think what you want, but alcoholism IS a disease/addiction.
Should my hubby leave me now that he's quit drinking and smoking? I'm trying to quit smoking...I'm hooked...it's addictive...it's a drug...so I guess he should pack up and take our son away because I haven't beaten this thing yet. No!! That would be redundant, and I was being sarcastic.
Just trying to show that people CAN be freed from the slavery that alcohol has bound them to.
Why is it that nothing good can describe an Alcholics behavior?
Wow if only this stuff was taught in high school along with real sex edu. A day in a drunks marriage while broke, hungry. Now that might impact a teenagers decisions to give in or not. Just a thought.
Illness? I believe that term came from the INS companies wanted to profit by prescribing meds for those who drink. It's a billion dollar industry to keep the childhood learned behaviors called a disease.
I think anyone who has been terminally I'll would be offended at the suggestion that one who chooses to act out impulse driven selfish ways to avoid dealing with emotional challenges thesame as a Disease. There complete different elements but both can be deadly and destroy many in there wake.
Obviously we all can agree drinking is somewhat different than taking a hit off a cigg. Although it stinks an can damage your lungs it won't cause you to leave you child or famy for just one more hit. Nor will it drain your bank account while in a cigg bing gambling spree.
I think any addiction big or small is a sign that one needs to work on themselves at a deep emotional level. No one smokes drinks overeats gambles pukes
Shops endlessly or cleans excessive or has compulsive addiction behaviors because there emotionally sound.
I glad foe those who find the courage to stop what ever the addiction. Everyone wins when this happens.
Bravo to the sober and clean we admire you!!!
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