Alcohol

My 38 yr. old son is staying with us after an altercation with his wife. He ended up with 2 broken jaws, we got him out of jail,have taken care of him for 3 months now. I caught him drinking vodka yesterday and he got really mean to me. Now I don't know what to do as he told me he would never drink again. He is driving my husband's car each day to work and I know if I tell my husband that he will make him stop driving his car. My son owes me a lot of money and if he doesn't work I won't get any of it back. I thought after 3  onths with out alcohol that he would  not drink again,he even told me he hated alcohol and would never drink again. I am at a loss as to what to do.

[jml1986]

You can't make someone stop drinking, but you don't have to enable him. By not telling your husband you are feeding into his habit. I would suggest you look into Alanon it can help you learn how to live with an alcoholic. Good luck!

[sweetpeafowler]

Thanks, I told my husband, and hubby says he has to leave. I feel better knowing I don't have to put up with this verbal abuse.

[jml1986]

That is so great. I know it must have been hard to do, but you did the right thing. Hopefully some day he will realize that he has a problem and get some help.

[ready2help]

It's tough to be a mom and watch this going on. However, living with an adult alcoholic son can turn your world upside down. If you keep rescuing him, you allow him to stay sick. Alcoholics and addicts do not tend to get help or get clean&sober when they have a roof over their head, food in their tummy, a car to drive, and someone to do the laundry.....oh, and a mom who doubles as a banker.

So, feeling guilty is normal, all parents do sometimes - even when their kids are not in this sort of trouble!

It is healthiest that you and your husband stay honest with each other and don't fall for you son's manipulations or for your son trying to challenge your loyalty. I commend you for doing the right thing. Stay strong and steadfast - keep your boundaries - if you do these things (and please, go to Alanon regularly) you have the best chance of your son getting himself straightened out.

Remember, you are doing this BECAUSE you love him and know it is in his best interest.

Wishing you the best.

[sweetpeafowler]

Thanks for the comments. ready2help, I appreciate this, I needed this because I was already feeling fearful and wondering if I did the right thing, now I know I did. Of course I miss him and pray for his healing,but I am not missing the verbal abuse and hope we have pushed him in the right direction. Yall are great !!

[azezal]

Get life insurance on him, so if he crashes your car you can get some of your money back, everyone is a winner:)

[LORDINEEDHELP]

is it me or was that comment befor mine tacky by AZEZAL i honestly dont think that is considered support please living with an alacholic is tough enough and honestly not a joke and im sure she came to this sight for support not that kind of comment im only 41 and living with an alacholic husband and curently in councling with him yet i know there is nothing you can do to change him it has played a huge toll on me as a person a wife and mother and i wish there was something i could say to help you,  if you want to chat just let me know stay strong and my thoughts are with you

[ready2help]

Yes, I agree, I don't know what azezal was thinking either. My first reaction is to confront. But upon reflection, I don't think it is necessary; I'm sure it is plenty transparent by itself.

Sweetpeafowler knows the rest of us have compassion and care about her and the angst of what she is dealing with. I'm sure she knows that.  :)

Hang in there sweetpeafowler!