This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.
About 1.5 years ago, I started drinking heavily. From research, I was a functional alcoholic. I'd stick to around 60-120mL per day except I would take one or two days break to catch up on sleep and hydration once I became extremely fatigued. It was a cycle like this.
At some point, I realized I had become alcoholic and severely cut it down. Problem is, I still go back and drink excessively at least once a week. On top of that, I may have ~2-3 beers worth twice or three times a week. I stopped mainly because I couldn't handle the fatigue but ~3 beers does not affect me the next day.
I competitively play video-games online and alcohol hinders me after 3 drinks. But lately I've found a happy spot where I can play a co-op mode with other players and still be efficient at killing AI characters while gulping ~100ml of alcohol. It is kind of like playing an online RPG and it not really affecting your ability to play due to lack of hand-eye coordination involved.
At this point, I still go back to drinking but I do not become depressed like I used to. Prior, I would go crazy at work waiting to go home and drink. This no longer happens to me. I still drink when I find myself with a spare few hours. Since I am functional, I try not to let others know of what is going on. I am not really sure what to do next.
You are doing a lot of 'justifying' in order to keep drinking. You don't want to stop drinking so You are finding ways to drink and function. Not true. No one 'functions' under the influence of alcohol in the same way You function without it. Judgement AND response IS impaired when under the influence of alcohol. Have You ever seen anyone who was too drunk to drive but He absolutely thought He was fine?? When one is under the influence of alcohol He almost always does not REALIZE that He is impaired !!
Your body is sending You messages that You want to ignore. You are trying hard to find a way to drink and play Your games too, to drink and not feel fatiqued or dehydrated. You're trying too hard to find ways to keep drinking. There in lies Your clue.
To answer Your question - Yes, I think You are an alcoholic. An alcoholic is 'addicted' to alcohol and because of the addiction will drink even if it's causing problems and discomfort. NO ONE EVER CHOOSES TO BE AN ALCOHOLIC - People BECOME addicted to alcohol.
You've answered your own question , you are a functioning alcoholic. But one man's functioning, is another's non functioning. You haven't filled out any of your profile, so we don't know how old you are, what sex, whether you're married, or single, dating or not. Have kids, or not.
I still drink when I find myself with a spare few hours.
Are you lonely at all, for company of a spouse, or girlfriend/boyfriend? Or have you replaced this need for connection and intimacy for a bottle? Because if that's the case it's very sad. If anyone were to look into your life, say they are interested in you, what do you think they would say about your current lifestyle? Would you be someone that someone would want to know and become involved with? Do you have any hobbies? Like fitness, or cooking, anything other than online gaming? Anything interesting to another person trying to hook up with you or maybe invite you into their lives? I understand the draw of gaming, but i think that there are alot of people that have given up on real relationships with people, and I think that's a shame. I hope that's not what's happening for you.
You are an alcoholic. Your drinking is out of your control. You sound as though you do not really socialize. Playing computer games takes you out of relationships where you talk and communicate with someone else. Try helping someone out to get out of the habit of feeling sorry for yourself.
Honestly, you keep saying over and over that you are a functional alcoholic, trying to justify or make it sound like you are less of an alcoholic than someone that binges all the time. Less stop lying and hiding who you are. You are addicted to alcohol and would rather have it and do it than do anything. It is time to stop the addiction and live your life. My whole family except me were controlled by alcohol. If you think people don't see that there is something wrong with you you are wrong they know it and just don't tell you. All the alcoholics I lived with seem to hide it and think noone knows but everyone does know. So, it is time to face the music and start really living your life. You have to realize this is not living. You have to look at the sorry ugly self and say yes this is me as an alcoholic and I can do this and quit. And, find who you really are instead of hiding behing a bottle. That is what I see with what my family did. They ruined their lives and ruined part of my life. Did any of them apologize NO. You don't see how you affect others lives nor do you care as all you care about is booze. Find the strength within and do it NOW before it ruins your body to the point that it is just too late. I can give you many stories. One I can't figure out is how to stop my own brother from drinking and ruining his life. I came on here to write about that.
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