This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.
My husband and I have been married for 3 years now. We had been together for 10. As of last year I realized that my husband had a serious drinking problem. I have been trying to help but t isn't working. He is also a pathological liar. I thought he getting better but he just got better at hiding it. I have tried to be the nice guy, then the mean guy, then I reached out to his family. But they swept it under te rug. Cause they are the image people an they don't want people knowing that there is an alcoholic in their immediate family. I want him to talk to my grandfather because he has been there but I don't want him together angry. I am here now because he told me he was clean and sober and I just found another 5th of whiskey in his truck. He drinks that in about 3 days. I don't know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
We can't do anything to control someone else's drinking. I'm in recovery myself and nobody in the world but me could make the decision to stop using drugs and alcohol. I go to AA and in our book it says that alcohol itself is the best advocate to get the alcoholic into our program or where ever they want to go to get help. I stopped because I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was driven under the lash of the disease by alcohol, not anyone else. So what I'm saying is you'll need to wait him out.
I also go to al-anon because my daughter had a problem but is now clean. In that program we allow the alcoholic the dignity to be who they are and then put the focus on us greeting our life back. You have a life!alanon is a wonderful fellowship of people just like yourself, who are solving a common problem. Give it a try. It helps to be with others in the same boat. I wish u the best!
The best way you can help your husband is by helping yourself. Have you heard of Alanon? It is a wonderful group of folks who have been affected by someone else's drinking. It is 12 step based just like AA. There you will find folks working and living the solution. Sharing their stories and realizing they are not alone. I encourage you to find a local meeting and attend. You deserve to be happy.
I am very sad to know about your situation, but this is the critical situation where you have to handle your husband and yourself as well to make sure that he understands the problem, which you are facing for him.
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