This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.
I am not really sure about the direction this will go but I just have to throw out there how frustrated I am an angered. You see Ill make a hugely long story short. My husband is 54 I am 48 we have been married 25 years this September (hold the applause)..Before we met, during our dating and since day 1 of marriage my husband has drank....I'm not sure if there is such a thing as a functioning alcoholic..but he never misses work and has never had any crossing over of personal life into work..ludos for that..however after about the 7 th or 8 th beer all of a sudden I am a dart board...he is trying to ruffle my feathers...and he gets a real ****** attitude. I used to be able to tone him out and keep busy with our 2 children well theg are grown now one lives at home and one with her boyfriend....so I'm having an even harder time toning out now....and the one person that I could call and vent to and who understood my life is my mother and I lost her on October 28th and now I feel that he's almost getting a charge out of the fact he can ridicule me and chastize me because I don't have that safe zone (mom) anymore....help any suggestions of how I can gain control without rolling up in a ball..??
Don't put up with it. He is drinking really heavy and could be unpredictable. Abusive behaviour comes with alcoholism, most of us will do it if we can get away with it. Don't fight with him though when he's drunk, that could be harmful to you. When he is sober talk to him about the concern with his drinking and your annoyance when he is antagonising you. Nothing is going to get better unless he quits drinking. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and really could start to affect his health, liver, job, social life, marriage. It is just a matter of until it gets worse. Get him to go to the doctor with you and discuss his drinking and your concerns. The doctor will be supportive for you and get your husband blood tests and he will see on those tests how it will be affecting his liver now. Doctor can give him advice on quitting before its too late. Be positive, and be strong.
your situation sounds like a carbon copy if mine, the constant belittling and harassing and antagonizing started abut 3 years ago. I let him put me down for a while and some great friends convinced me to stand up for my self because no one else will! when he started in on me, I looked him in the eye and asked why he felt it necessary to talk this way to me. he started in with he is the man of the house and he could do what ever he wanted, I stood up to him and told him that he was NOT going to talk to me like that again and that I would not tolerate it. he looked at me like I was crazy, and continued on. I walked out of the room and he followed me and I told him that when he was sober we would talk. what he did not know, was that I tape recorded him and played back his ranting, he was stunned and I informed him that the next time I would call the police and have him arrested. now, he does not speak to me at all when he is drinking, he locks himself in a room and drinks til he passes out. he is also a very functional alcoholic!
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