Getting Out

My fiance is End Stage Alcoholism. He's 64 years old heavy smoker 3-4 packs a day,  and a heavy drinker bottle Whiskey/Wine a day, has been doing this for 30 years. He nearly died in 06. In the Hospital he was diagnosed with COPD and Cirrhosis, suffers from many other Medical Conditions, such as confusion, memory loss, fatigue, gastrological pain (this happens nearly daily), plus many others. He refuses all medical treatment and is NOT under a doctors care his choice. I was told by the ER that if he didn't stop drinking/smoking he would be lucky to be alive within a four year period. He's now in his third year. I no longer can stay in this situation as he is getting worst. We have been together for 7 years all been surrounded by his Alcoholism.

My dream of getting married to him will never happen. This I realized years ago. I have left him several times for months, just returned two weeks ago, but cannot take his verbal, emotional and physiological and financially abuse anymore and am leaving him yet again within days. On my return only a week ago, my home coming on  the very first day, was verbal abuse. This is when I decided, get out.

He no longer has a Law Practice and is only working part time. He has financial problems has already had a Bankruptcy again him, and now always tries to get his hands on my money. Tries to make me feel guilty stating I owe him, as he's my Attorney, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be where I am today, all of this is untrue, I know this.

It sadness me to see the man I fall in love with, destroying himself this way, but it's his choice, he's had all the opportunity to get help and is in total denial, and refuses help. Several times, I had to watch him while he has trouble breathing, go  very cold,  go very red, with fluid retention. Tells me do not call 911, if I die then I'm at peace. How he survived, was in Gods hands. I cannot go through this again. It's just too emotional for me.

To make matters worst, he's an Attorney and he uses this with his treats towards me. He say he would destroy me if I every speak out against him towards any of his Associates or family. They do not see him like I do. To them he's a great man, kind, caring and an Excellent Attorney.

He has all the Negative Attitudes and Medical Conditions of End Stage Alcoholism. He's only now just a Functional Alcoholic. For the past two years it's been very hard, knowing  any day he could die from Alcoholism/Over-the-Counter medication that he takes.

When I go away, I'm under Counceling, have tried Al-
Anon however this doesn't work for me. It's a great Organization, but not for me. I'm happy with the Treatment I'm receiving as this is why I'm stronger now and will not enable him or myself anymore. I must leave for both our sakes.

On a Medical note, my question is, was I advise correctly by the ER  Doctors that when an Alcoholic reaches End Stage (Third Stage Alcoholism) it last up to four years, if no treatment is given?   Plus his personality now has changed yet again, to be very angry, abusive, agitated, unreasonable thinking, just too mention some of the list. His physical appearance, very red, bloated, sores on his chest, upset stomach all the time,  sleeps for hours during the day. I feel he's coming to the end of his life. Any advise from anyone out their that has medical knowledge I would appreciate. He does not have any Doctor treating him nor does he want any doctor treating him absolutely refuses all medical treatment.              

[boogieman]

hi. i replied to your post on the alcoholism page----gm