I hate today! Just venting.

Every year on this day I dread being with/without DH.
It is our anniversary.
Tomorrow is his brother's Bday ( which their parents treat as a holiday greater than Christmas or Easter), the day after that is his nephew's Bday.

So...every year, their parents come up from out of province to celebrate his brother's BIG DAY! They never come out for my hubby's or son's Bdays!

But today is supposed to be "Our " day. Every year his parents come out early to be with his brother...and on the day of our anniversary they make DH decide who he's going to spend his time with...me or them.
They will ( already have ) demand that he go over there today with out son, ( under the premise that they can spend time with their grandson...which doesn't make sense, because his folks know that they can come over here any time...it's his bro and SIL that I don't want near me...and even his folks understand why) and then again tomorrow for his brother's bday.
He told them that he can only go over there on one of the days because he has to get this job done.
So he decided that he would go today and do all of the "big work" tomorrow. He'll come home, grab the little guy, and go over there to kiss A$$...leaving me at home because I refuse to be near those people.
He always tries to get me to go, but why would I ? These people demanded that I have an abortion, they "pretend" to like us, they bash us every chance they get, the show on a constant basis how DH's younger brother is their favourite ( even though he's never had a job for longer than a week and he's over 40) and when DH almost died a while back they didn't care...they started to yell at me and asked me if I thought that they were gonna raise/support my kid!  His SIL stabs me in the back every chance she gets, and always tells me that she wishes my son would die because then her's would get everything when the folks die!
These people are mean and vicious. His mom is a pitbull on exlax!
No bloody wonder hubby drinks! If I grew up in a household like that I would have killed myself years ago...or started drinking/ doing drugs.

I tried explaining to him ( yet again) how much I despise these people and trying to get it through his thick skull that they don't give two cents about him ( in a nice way of course).

I think he knows that his family isn't as loving and giving as mine...I think  he realizes that they don't know what love is...and I think that although he knows all this, he refuses to admit it...in fear that it may be true if it were expressed out loud.

I feel so bad for him...and us.

As he was walking out the door he said that he would come straight home after work and we would discuss it then. Which hopefully means that he understands how I feel about wanting to spend the night with him on our anniversary and not by myself while he sits and gets drunk with people who don't give a crap...and will let him drive home with babe in car after getting drunk.
They NEVER try to stop him from driving after drinking...they claim that he's a big boy and can do whatever he wants to do...even if it means killing someone or himself by doing so.
I would NEVER let him walk out the door after drinking. I would call the police. But DH IS semi reasonable even when drinking. If you tell him he's had too much he won't drive...but he NEEDS someone to tell him that...as sick as it may seem.

Guess we'll see what he decides when he gets home. He HAS been known to blow them off from time to time...maybe this will be one of those times...but I doubt it...his bro's bday is way more important than anything else in this world...and he knows it.

[rpooo]

Hi Tschock,
I can sure understand your point and i'm sorry your asked to endure this every year But I want  you to realize that you too add a lot of pressure and tension to the situation. I feel bad in a way for your hubby. Your concerns about him driving drunk with your son should be enough reason for you to tolerate their rude a**es. What if my daughter was on the road? See my point? At the same time his parents could make this an Anniversary/Birthday party and DH should understand and agree that this day belongs to you and him more than anything else. An appearance is all that is necessary, they can party any other day! I mean c'mon every birthday after 21 ***** anyways and every anniversary is awesome right! Some compromise is needed and deserved from both sides. Take care and I hope next years will be incredible!
Randy

[dominosarah]

I am sorry you are in this situation but here is how i see it.......Be VERY grateful you arent like those "things".  They have more problems than all of us put together.  It is up to your husband to get the help he needs to deal with them.  There isnt enough alcohol in the world to take the pain away from all the crap they have shelled out.

I also see something else here......Forgiveness, on your part.  I am not saying to forgive them for what they have said about your son and become their friend as that is the last thing i would ever do but forgiveness comes in different forms, this one would be the forgiveness and letting it go.  You dont need to be held captive by their words.  Understanding and really feeling that they have some real sick issues will bring you some peace.  There are some people that were in my life who no longer are now and when i see them i just shake my head and think how sad they are, to go thru life so messed up......I hope this made sense!!

Happy Anniversary by the way.  I hope you did something nice for you~~sara