Most have read my letter to my mother. Thank you to those who commented.
I'm a bar tender. Have been for 6 years and I quit my job at the start of this pregnancy on Halloween.. I grew up around an alcoholic for a mom and a drug user for a father. I mean booze was everywhere in my family. Every holiday was a party rather than a celebration. I remember Christmas mornings starting with everyone over for breakfast at 7 am. 6 am bottles were passed around and they usual bloody Mary made. And it went on til 10 am to start up again at 3 pm til nightfall.
As I grew up them more I realized how much I hated it. How I wish booze was just non existant .. how something so life changing could be legal?
Anyway years went by and my mo. AMD dad split. Dad went to rehab and made something of himself.he's now a drug and alcohol council.. I watched my mom drink her self to death. Then nearly watched my great uncle do it....
I became a bartender soon after my mom died because I went to them bar to get my mind off things. Had a beer or two. Once a week turned into 7 days a week. I took care of things at home. Madesure my son was cared for and then took off. My dad watched my son for me. I was having a lot of fun. Was out meeting and making friend and getting drunk.. the owner asked to be a bar tender because I had what it took... did not know a dang thing about it. But what I was what beauty boobs a butt and a ' bad *** biker chick attitude' according to them owner of thebar..
I took it and partied for a while. Then started to sober and not drinking as much. While it was a blast. That place once treatend to turn me into my mother then saved my life all inthe same. I know its weird to say that a bar saved my life but it did. I seen more of what booze did. To everyone. A fight broke out then day I quit.. the same day I found out I was pregnant .. a good friend of mine lost his life too to a stupid dart bet. Got hit in there head with a metal pipe and died 2 weeks later. That there made me realize how lucky I am.
I feel bad that not only did my mom die but I helped others support their habits. I've 8 people aside from my mom that died because of drinking. Most were at the bar I.the short time I was there.. I told my dad a few weeks a go I can't wait to have a shot after the babies are born. But I'm making a promise to myself my son and my twin baby boys to never touch this filth again. I will no longer drink because I know they pain it causes...
Sorry this is so long but I needed to ramble and get this out. Thank you for reading
I love your story. I'm praying that you do keep yourself sober for the three kid's that you've been blessed with. Contratulations BTW~ You've been there and done that, and there are new challenges ahead, maybe even a new career path? You sound like you have a great personality and can do whatever you set your mind to. Enjoy your Safari themed baby shower, it sounds like a lot of fun. I've stayed clean and sober since 99, and i have to tell you, life is so much better when the obsession is gone, and for my husband and myself, it is gone. We are able to really be present for each other and for our kids, and i sure wouldn't want it any other way. Your kids are really going to respect what you're doing, for them. So stay strong and hold onto your convictions. Values are a huge part of raising children the right way, and there is nothing more valuable than a mommy that stays present for her kids. I'm proud of you, and your kids will be too~ when your kids are small it's sometimes easy to not see that they will soon be adults and be in the position of judging your job as a mother, but they do, and they will. And if you keep on doing what you're doing, you'll have no regrets. Hold on tight to these values, and stay tough mama bear.
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