Alcoholic, Living with an Community
Just can't let my guard down
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This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.

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Just can't let my guard down

So I'm reading these posts and many situations are similar, but don't quite match mine.  I've been married for 21 years, and my husband and I have been through a lot. We come from some rough places, but have managed to be productive, skilled professionals. We have two children, live I a great place.  My man has been through AA by his own will some  time ago, but never really bought the idea that he could never go back to drinking, never really accepting the title "alcoholic".  I wasn't sure either, as he has never been that bad, though it occurred to me that alcohol accompanied every situation, weekend, mowing the lawn, football game, etc... I got pretty fed up and started counting, then confronting, then joining, then confronting again. I don't drink, never needed to. I'm tired that after several counselors for me, then us, then him we are still in this boat.  I asked an addiction specialist if he is an alcoholic, and he confirmed loudly, "yes!"  He drinks almost every day expensive microbrews, putting away 5-6 on a weekend night, glassy eyed, snoring every night. I've threatened to kick him to the curb and he stopped, admitting that he could control himself better and be mindful, buzzword.  He works, he manages the kids, cleans the house, complains that I don't do enough around the house, so it's not like he's a lousy bum. He is depressed deep down about the death of family members and has deep wounds from his childhood, but can't break the cycle.  I am as healthy as I've ever been, praying about it, loving unconditionally, confronting when it's bad enough for mine and the kids safety and sanity. The teen daughter tells him he's controlling and yells a lot. I mean come on, he and the eight head old boy are the only ones thinking this is normal. I've told him this is not the normal I want my kids to know.  I have to confront him when those eyes go glassy. How much more can I do? I hate Alanon. I hear worse stories and think I shouldn't *****, yet I live with a liar. What is it going to take?
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