My Dad

He was doing so good in AA a few years ago. Now he's back up to 3 beers every night. He's making excuses again, too. "I'm working on the car, gotta have a beer". "Mowing the lawn---the heat will kill the alcohol!", "I'm shovling, the alcohol will keep my warm." It's pissing off my mom.

I'm not so much angry as I am worried. When he's not drinking at all, he smokes like a chimney. Then he'll try to quite smoking, and drink like a fish! I don't know what to do to get through to him. I've tried sitting down and talking to him, but he shoves it off, saying his dad drank more than he does. Well, I don't care what my grandpa Jim did--he stopps drinking, why can't my dad?

The worst part is that the alcohol makes his bipolar really bad. He talks not like himself. The "bad side" comes out, when he blames himself for not finishing high school and screwing up out lives. He says he's a bad father and that he's going to hell and that his life is pointless. And I don't think these things about my dad. He single-handedly supports all of us, since my mom is so busy with mine and my sister's medical problems, not to mention taking care of her father in a nursing home. It's just stressing everyone out, and I wish there was a way I could get through to him.

I wish there was a way I could wake him up and let him see that the alcohol is what puts everyone on edge, because we don't know how he's going to act.

It's so frustrating.

[dominosarah]

Hi Emmy, i am glad you found this forum.  I know what it is like to have a dad who drinks.  Mine did the same thing the whole time i was growing up.  We used to get into huge fights as i wanted my dad to stop also.  There is nothing that you can do or say to get him to do this until he is ready to stop on his own.  Can you talk with your mom about this?  I dont know how old you are but if you are still in school do you have a counselor there that you like or a teacher?  There is also Alateen.  I hope your dad will see what his drinking is doing to him and the family.  Until he does please talk with someone about this.  It is very hard to live in a home with this going on.  Did he say why he quit going to AA?  Keep talking with us as we understand.        sara

[GoPens66]

From my own expierence...try your hardest to get him back to AA.  I did the same thing...I quit drinking and went to AA faithfully.  Then after time I started to think I could handle a little...no big deal.  Well I was wrong...Little only leads to alot. Alcholics can't handle alcohol no matter how much or how little it is.  It always leads to more....  I went back to AA and am now sober again.   Good Luck with your dad...he is lucky to have you!

[EmmyJN]

My dad quit AA because he thought he could handle it on his own, but as I remember, he was only "alcohol free" for about a year before falling back in.

I do have counselors at school, as I am 16, but I haven't built up the courage to talk to them. My mom shoves it off, and then gets mad when my dad's not home, and storms around the house. The counslers at my school have to tell parents that students come down for issues like this, and I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about my home life.

I've never been abused in anyway. Sure, the yelling *****, but I wouldn't consider it abuse. And I don't want to talk to the counslers in case I would say something that they would misinterpret as abuse...