My husband is an alcoholic,in denial, having health issues, unemployed and I'm starting to really worry...

My husband drinks about 1-1.5 liters of straight vodka a day for about four years.  Before, he drank heavily on weekends, but just at night on weekdays. Now he starts the minute he wakes (4-6 AM) and all day in between alcohol induced naps. He failed a life insurance exam cuz liver enzymes out of wack, Doctor told him a year ago to knock off the booze or his liver would not hold out. He hasn't even tried to cut down. Now that he's unemployed he's drinking more. He sits on the couch all day and drinks. He's lost interest in hobbies and is too lazy to go do anything or fix anything around the house. I used to get on his case, but now I feel I'm wasting my breath.  He really thinks he's invincible. His eyes are dark underneath and water like crazy, has a rash on his back that itches and bleeds, hands tremble until he's good and sauced, has a swollen belly, swollen ankles, bleeding hemorids...He drinks when he's "under the weather". He doesn't get violent or mean but lately gets beligerent, obnoxious, repetitive and forgetful, jealous and insecure. I'm sick and tired of it, but also am terrified and very sad to watch someone you once had a beautiful relationship with kill themselves in front of your face. I wonder what to tell my kids (13 and 15) and how long will he live? I live everyday in some kind of fear. He won't get help.  I need to go to Al-Anon I know.  I wonder if he'll make it one year, two years...three?  I know there is no crystal ball, but I want to know what to expect next...thanks.

[Tab57]

To be perfectly honest your sitaution is only going to get worse unless you take action to give your husband a wake up call.

I grew up in a household where both of my parents were alcoholics. My father was able to lead a pretty normal life as he was a functionng alcoholic while my mother was a train wreck. In addition to her alcoholism she abused perscription medicine.

I see that you have two teenagers in the household. I would like to get their perspective on this as I endured what they are probably going through. The best thing that happened to my family is when my parents got divorced when I was 13. All five of us children stayed with my father which was most unusual back in 1969. My Dad got remarried to this wonderful woman who was instrumental in me staying on the straight and narrow. I did not contact my mother for 32 years because of this sitaution. He has been clean for 38 ears and I see her as much as possible now. My other brothers and sisters remain estranged from her and I don't blame them for their decision.

I am going to shoot straight here so please don't take offense. At this point you need to make a decision. You need to either chose your children or your husband. You need to move out or kick your huisband out if he won't seek treatment. This is no environment for you children to grow up in. They are very in tune to what is going on even if you ahve not discussed this situation with them.

Yes I argreee that you need to go to Alanon and your children need to go to Alateen. They are hurting big time right now even if nothing is said. They are at an age where they need stablity in the household. If not they may act out of frustration and duplicate your husband's behavior as they have inherited the genetic predispoisiton to addictive behavoir from your at least your husband's side of the gene pool.

If you are truly sick and tired of things then you must separate yourself and your children from your husband. Not doing this is only enabling this self destructive behavior. As long as you stay he is not going to change. Separation from him may well be wake up he needs to get better.

Please keep me posted as your suituation is near to my heart as I lived through a similar sitaution while growing up. I am serious about me wanting to hear your children's perspective on this situation. It is best coming straight from them as then they can tell it like it is. They could send a note to me though this site and that way it is confidential. That of course is up to you as you are their responsible and good parent. That is an option that I present as they need an outlet as well. Best of luck and stay in touch.