This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.
The following is what I posted in another forum before I saw this one.
"My wife and I have been married for 15 years and she has drank alot during the whole time we have been married, but never to the length of what it has become recently.
She only drinks wine and beer, but will never stop at just one drink, if the wine bottle opens the first glass will be a normal 8oz then the next is double, and the next the whole glass ( and this is not a small wine glass) until the bottle is gone. Beer is the same way, open one drink it, then the next time its 2 beers in one big glass, until its 7 - 8 in one sitting.
lately she has been buying 2 32oz beers on friday and drinking between the time she gets home 3pm and the time I get home 5- 5:30 then drinking 2 or 3 more. The reason I know what she has been doing is we have 12 year old son and 9 year old daughter who go with her everywhere, they tell me what she buys.
Over the last 2 weeks she has slowed down on the beer and wine, and she started carrying around a big jug called a "bubba keg" which hold almost 40 oz of liquid, she said she is trying to start drink more water and less soda, and she has clear liquid with ice in it.
Well I should have known that it was not just water, last night night I was looking for some cables in my wifes and my closet and found hidden, two vokda bottle, one empty and the other half empty. So this is her drinking more "water" it really scares me as this is a new step into drinking as she never touched hard liquor before."
Last night after I came home and a 1/4 of the bottle had been drank, I confronted her on the bottles and it turned into her screaming at me about watching everything she does, and snooping into everything.
From reading this forum, it seems this is typical behavior of someone alchol dependent.
This is the first time I have discussed this with anyone, so thank you all for being here, reading posts in here makes me realize I am not alone in this
Thanks so much for coming to us and reaching out. I know personally it is a hard step to make... to literally even acknowledge. Oh how I detest those Bubba Kegs lol A lot of alcoholics start up with drinking vodka because the smell is less detectable and it is clear.
Anyone that can not "control" their drinking or does not drink socially can be considered an alcoholic. If they hide their buying behaviors or their alcohol... this is not normal behavior, it's addictive behavior.
What is definitely concerning is that you do have children involved here.
I cannot stress what a huge step you are taking here, you are definitely helping your family tremendously.
There are a lot of tools you can use to help your alcoholic. Changing our own behaviors and patterns makes a huge impact. A lot of times our alcoholics drink more than we are aware of it because they hide it.
Keep talking and reaching out here it's the best thing you can do.
Very good point Jibs1, I wished that there was online support when I needed it the most back then, it would have made it more convenient for me. The best thing you can do is talk or write. Sometimes even making a post on here can be therapeutic almost.
Keep us updated nitramroneedshelp, we are here for you :)
I have just joined this group as well and need a place to vent and someone who understand what its like to live with someone like this!!! I've heard of many people who drink vodka b/c it can't be smelled like most liquor can...just keep posting and we'll be here for you!!
Yes they start drinking vodka because is easier to not be detected on their breath, easier to cover. I have a pretty good "sniffer" and I would always be able to smell the stench of beer. Nothing like smelling someone fermented. I still cringe even to this day if I get a whiff of someone drunk passing by me.
Keep posting it helps for us to just sometimes see the words in front of us.
I remember when I first "admitted" that my partner at the time was an alcoholic. It literally broke me down to say the words. Shows you how much denial I was living in! lol
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