This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.
My husband has been drinking for six years now, our family is in a shambles. He has not worked in this six years making it a financial burden on me. He is I think obsessed with me. I cant go out without him calling me numerous times. My Doctor has taken me off from work because I am suffering from severe depression. My husband makes fun of my Doctors saying they dont have a clue what they are doing. I have to be on his beck and call all of the time and get harassed by him hourly. If he doesnt sleep well I dont either because he will keep me up all night. He threatens me for money to buy rum and if I dont do it I have major problems. Our son is 18 years old and his relationship with his father has vanished. The other night while our son was studing for exams he was harassed by his Father the whole time. I dont have anyone to talk to as my whole family has turned there back on me. Im so lost and the only way I can describe myself is broken.
Hi, Doranne. I have been where you are, only I was the drinker, so I know how thought processes work when being an alcoholic. You remind me alot of my own husband in your (very valid) complaints about the drinking. And I have already hit my 'bottom' and gone through treatment successfully, so can look back and see what I was doing from an objective point of view. Fortunately, in my case, my family stuck with me through the whole thing. It doesn't always happen like that. I feel very lucky to have people in my life who would literally carry me if I was unable to walk, and they would do it for a hundred miles, rest, then pick me up AGAIN. Having a support system in place for an alcoholic AND their family is vital. No matter how you choose to handle the situation, all of you need at least a few people who you can call and hear a ratonal voice on the other end. You have spent too many years under the influence of your alcoholic. You don't know who YOU even are at this point. Your entire existence revolves around your alcoholic. And he is showing no signs of stopping. You have a decision to make. Will you try to make him go to treatment when he will only refuse right now? Will you allow him to continue to be harrassive to you and your son? Or will you take that step to stop being a part of HIS problem, and separate yourself and your son from him at least until he has been sober for a full year? This life IS yours. OWN IT. And message me anytime, I'll be here. Blessings - Blu
Hi, hoping you are alright. Sad your husband is being abusive to your family. Have you talked to him about going for treatment, like outpatient treatment. He should be able to be subsidized being he isn't working. I am a sober alcoholic and believe I was annoying also. While drinking we think we are calm and relaxed, but we are on a roller coaster of up and down and talk too much. Say stupid things and feel lonely and isolated. We are not in the normal social world when we drink all the time. I quit drinking and went to recovery as an outpatient and it was wonderful. I am normal now, am social, have lots of friends, am caring and loving, and work and keep busy all the time. It takes time in the 12 step program to learn and change ourselves, but I now will never want to go back to the way it was. Ask him to go to an AA meeting, you can go to an open meeting with him. See what other alcoholics are like. I love the meetings and have found sober good friends there. Best Wishes
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