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alcoholic spouse
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This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.

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alcoholic spouse

My husband is an alcoholic and health issues are starting to show up---- he has asthma and was able to go without inhalers for years...now he was put on a daily preventer medication and is very pale and things are going down hill for him...
    he has this pain on the right side of his back and through research it is sounding like it is his liver that is causing him the pain--he WONT go to the dr and i have been told that he will when the pain gets bad enough so in the meantime i am saving up in case i have to take over paying the bills so that we dont lose our family home.....
    he is suffering and i cant get over how he just doesnt care what is happening to him.....
    at the rate that he is going he will end up in the hospital and then i will have to take care of everything on  my own.....i just sometimes get a little overwhelmed at all of the responsibility and wished that he cared....
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1334848_tn?1276041094
So sorry to hear all that is going on.     He's probably afraid to see a doctor because the doctor will tell him to stop drinking or cut back.  

Sounds like you need an intervention - does he have a male family member or friend who would listen to him and convince him to get checked out?
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Thanks for responding.  No he has no close friends.  His family will not help out.  Tonight he's ahving his 30 year old daughter make dinner for his first wife's parents.  I went to have dinner with him and the boys and he was abusive to me in front of the boys and neighborhood children- I can't/ won't go back-  will have to seek cousel about visitation rights.  Alanon tonight.  This is so painful.  
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1334848_tn?1276041094
I can't blame you for not wanting to put yourself in that situation, especially if you don't have to.   It is sad.   And, as cliche as that sounds, there's just not enough words to describe what families of alcoholics have to go thru.    

Many DO eventually get help after hitting bottom and I know from all the reading that when/if they realize all the pain they caused, that reconciliation is sweet.  I hope one day you get to see that in this person, now though, ugh.
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