This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.
Okay so I have been with my husband 3 years and he drinks every single day about a six pack or more a day but he never disrespects me in anyway in fact his a happy drunk and I don't see any problems but I'm starting to think he does drink alot .he has never hit me,disrespect me, or any of that. His such a good husband that works very hard and always comes home to me and there's simply no problems at all. I'm just think wow he can drink a lot everyday
my brother has been an alcoholic since he was 16, he is now 49. total clean time in those years - about 1 1/2 yrs. he drinks probably at LEAST 26 beers a day. always been 'functional', owning a construction business, but in the past 5 yrs, he is not functioning so well. he is in poor health, his marriage of 20 yrs is ROUGH. he doesn't see his drinking as an issue, but he has cheated on her SEVERAL times, financial ruins, horrible fights, etc.
as time goes on you will start to see changes in him and because you love him, you will try to get him to stop. then all hell will break loose.
it is very hard to watch someone die of alcoholism.
i will also note that 7 yrs ago my brother and his wife PAID for IVF to get pregnant and had twins. boy and a girl. they have to grow up in this environment and it makes me sick. no child deserves an alcoholic parent.
i went through a stressful time in my life 6 yrs ago (lost job, my house that i put $30,000 down on was a fraud mortgage and i was losing our home, i was a single mom, i fell off the roof and broke my back in 4 places and hip and pelvis, lost EVERYTHING in my home) i turned to alcohol. i barely made it 2 years before i had to stop. i knew it was killing me and i just couldn't do that to my kids.
you are the sober one, you are responsible for your childrens childhood. make sure it is a good one
It will get worse. I would get him an ultamatum and say you don't want to live with an alcoholic and that he needs help. That he needs to go to AA and get help maybe at a detox center but you are not going to see him get ill as the alcohol ruins his liver and gives him cancer etc. If he loves you over the alcohol he will quit. It may take you having to leave for a time for him to see that you are serious. I know this maybe almost impossible to deal with like this. But I told this to my husband because I saw him starting to drink more and he promised not to drink more than one glass of wine a day (which is nothing). But, he knows my whole family were alcoholics and I don't want to see him drink anymore than that. I will move out if starts drinking more. Even though he is my life partner.
Yes I'm worried for you too. It usually gets worst as time goes on 3 years is nothing, try losing 10 years to a drunk, then 15, then more where has the time gone? The money gone bailing them out of one jam then another. There personality changes so much and you change to and I do not mean for the better. I am worried about you as I am worried about myself
I can relate to the same thing.I have been with my husband 6 years, the first 4.5 years were the same as you, he was happy, not violent, drank everyday went to work,so on,so on..... But the last year and a half its gone downhill very fast, he's still wasn't violent but the drinking went from a couple beers after work to a liter of jack daniels and 6-10 a night more on the weekends. He has a very stressful job in NY on wall street, which he worked hard for, but now he's on his 3rd rehab and next month moving to a sober living home, which most insurances don't pay for. so we are paying for out of pocket.Sorry but you should be aliitle worried and try and talk to him before it gets to this point. i'm suppose to support him,cause him no stress, which is very hard. Especially since he's in Florida and i'm in connecticut, so i don't get to see him. So right now my life is a mess, don't know if he's coming home to me, i'm in the waiting stage, but can not stress him out. To top it off when living in a sober house they want you to work, and if he does he loses everything from his job now, insurance, disability, i have an income but because i am a disabled vet, i dont have the chose to go back to work, my life is in limbo right now. I really hope you can talk to your husband before it gets to this point. I love mine to death but i'm not part of his life at the moment and it's the hardest thing i've every had to go through. And i've been to iraq 3times. if you need to talk just reach out.
Honestly, i had setup 2 rehabs he failed before, this because he didn't believe me when i told him the way he was acting, i decided to film it on the phone, and when he was sober, and the onlt time he was kinda sober was at work, i seen't him these video's so he could see himself, it may have not been the right thing to do but that night he called a rehab for the first time and flew out that night. So i did not see him before he left or anything but i also knew he needed this if not he would be dead. ALL together he has been to around 14 different rehabs but this was the first time he did it all by himself, he;s been there 60 days and moving to a sober living home for 3 months. Of course i am going to miss him like crazy, but i would rather have him there trying to get better instead of here dying. Rehab only works if the addict wants it if their not ready it's not going to work. The only reason i am here waiting is because i love him and he waited for me 4 different times that i was gone for 18 months at a time in Iraq and Afghanistan. He was always there for me, when i came home my mind was not right, so i'm not going to give up on him, becuase he did't with me.
No, you did exactly the right thing. Actually, that was a very clever idea to video him and let him see himself. They often don't see themselves and have a totally different picture of who they are. I'm glad he is doing so well and hope he continues to do well. I know it is hard for you but you are right he would have died if you didn't do this. It is just a matter of time. So, I hope he can stay clear once he gets home. They do have to want to do it for themselves or they won't stay sober. You gave him the push. I hope the very best for you both.
Hi, it is good to know that your husband is quite an IDEAL master of the house. It is inspiring that he can manage everything regardless of how much he drinks. I am afraid other guys would be interested in increasing their regular alcohol intake after hearing such an inspiring story from you. Best of luck to you and your good hubby.
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