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living with a drunk
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This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.

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living with a drunk

My husband of 7 months drinks excessively from Friday nite and possibly Saturday and Sunday. Does this make him an alcoholic?  Come Friday he's no the rip. Usually at home when we have friends over. I used to like a drink and still do when I go out with my friends but drinking with my husband is hard work. He talks **** most the time Killin the buzz of supposedly a good nite in with friends. Doesn't know when to stop tbh and I can't bear him touching me in bed. he could start a fight easily cos half the time his conversations aren't relevant to what is goin on at that time and ppl look at him oddly and then leave. I have stopped drinking with him cos of the Way he is. I can't get him to do anything on Saturday or Sunday as a family cos he's always hungover but he claims he's not an alcoholic because he only drinks at weekends. I can't live the rest of my life like this. I was in a 15 year relationship with a ballbag and met my husband shortly after I walked out with my son. There is 5 year between us me being the older spouse and we've been together 5 years. I'm close to breakin point as I keep thinkin he'll grow out of it the older he gets but now I'm not so sure
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Avatar_f_tn
He won't "grow out of it".  

He will either continue to drink
or
He will realize it has become troublesome to His relationship and He will quit.

Have You talked to Him about how You feel about Him "not knowing when to stop" and that You "can't bear Him to touch You in bed"  and, if so, what has been His response?

It's a definite red flag if He knows You don't want to make love with Him and He continues to drink anyway


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6726276_tn?1421130268
Dear Fed up wife. Well you do sound fed up.
I'm not sure of your question but yes he's an alcoholic. They get worse as they age, they do not "grow out of it."!
You are living with a person who has a disease. I don't know what you are capable of doing about this fact. Only you know. If he's a prince you adore during the week when he's on the wagon sober you may be able to cope.
You could pack up your child and go camping every weekend for example. Or go on trips to visit out of town relatives every single weekend.
  Or you can ask him to quit drinking. And see what happens.
It all depends on your comfort zone and what value you are receiving in this relationship.  You can also go to a support group called Alanon. It's for friends and family members of problem drinkers.
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Avatar_f_tn
There are all different types of alcoholics. If he's drinking alone,that right there is clue number 1. My mum was a functioning alcoholic. She never drank before or during work,but the minute she walked in the door she cracked a beer. Never got really drunk during the week but come Friday she spent the weekend wasted. She always drank alone. We never got to do anything as kids on the weekends. I considered and still consider her an alcoholic. You need to think of you and your son,you said you were already in a bad relationship. Remember you only get ONE life. Tell him how you feel,if he doesn't change or try to get help then you've done what you can. Addicts of any kind can only quit because they choose to,not because we want them to. Goodluck Hun!!
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