my moher is an alcoholic.

My mom is an alcoholic and has been for as long as I can remember.  When I was young she was a functioning alcoholic. She volunteered at school, kept the house nice and took care of my sister and I. However as the years went on it continually got worse. If it is brought up to her in any context she gets extremely defensive and is in complete denial. It is now to the point it has cost her jobs, relationships, and very nearly her home.  She isn't taking care of herself, her dogs or her home. She is going to bars and drinking until they close and goig to parties after at homes or I'm not even sure where. I guess my question is, what can I do?  I am expecting my second child and will not allow her and her lies and drinking influence us any longer. I want her to get help, but how is that possible if she doesn't think there is a problem? Thank you

[alexplusone]

I don't know if it matters but my mother is 46, I am 27 and my sister is 23.  I left home at 18 and when my sister turned 18 she moved in with my husband and I in our home. She is now finished wih college and on her own! (:   However she has almost no contact with mom at all. Abot once a month she will contact mom, and we all live in the same smallish city of about 65,000.  

[sudie58]

hi and welcome,i am afraid there is nothing you can do until she asks for help and wants to stop,for her the alcohol comes first at the moment, she needs to hit her lowest point , where she asks for help and admits she has a problem, i am sorry , but thats about all anyone can say, have you gone to alanon, it will help you to understand , and meet others in the same situation as you,you will get some support for you there, i wish you all the best, god bless.    sudie

[seattlemom2plus]

The best thing you can do right now is to focus on yourself and your new baby.  That alone is enough responsibility let alone to worry about someone that is making life decisions for themselves beyond your control.  Every alcoholic has a bottom, and until they hit that bottom, they usually don't seek an alternative.

My mother has been an alcoholic for pretty much all of my life and I had to come to the decision in myself that I was ready to move on.  She continues her patterns to this day, but fortunately I am able to experience a healthy family and my children don't have to be subjected to the inconsistencies.  I certainly hope that for your mom's sake she finds help.

There is always the option of a family intervention as well, but that can be something very emotional for a pregnant woman to have to encounter.  Please keep us posted on this, I know you have got to be going through an emotional roller coaster right now :(