This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.
Im 9 weeks pregnant with my first child. My husband and i are currently living with my mom and stepfather who are alcoholics. (We plan to move as soon as i get the okay to go back to work). Now here's the situation. My mom always was a heavy drinker but it got 10x worse the she got with my stepdad. She used to let him beat me til the point of hospitalization numerous times. And not to mention almost every night he drives beyond the point of drunk. Now my mom and i have never had a close relationship bc she cares more about the booze then anything else. But ever since i told her i was poignant (when sober) we are close. Idk. What to do or how to bring it up in a way that world war 3 doesn't break out that its the drinking doesn't stop neither of them will be allowed to be involved in my childs life. Its bad enough i had to grow up with it, i refuse to let my child around it. (And when i mean ww3 in refering most to my stepfather, let me give u an example of what i mean. A week before my husband and i got married my stepfather picked a fight with me bc he didn't agree to the wedding. Mind you me and my husband have been together for 7 years. I had to keep hold of a kitchen knife so he couldn't go after me) please any suggestions would be helpful.
OK, so you told your mom already? so is the question how do you tell them they cant be involved in your baby's life unless they stop drinking? well, being a child of an alcoholic and when i was 25 i got preg. and not even the threat of not being involved in my baby's life didn't work. hell she wouldn't stop for me and im her kid. if i were you i would go to an ob gyn confirm your preg. then apply for medicare, WIC etc. and move out asap. there is a lot of assistance for pregnant woman even if your married. i would be concerned about you and your baby's well-being and get away from your freakin stepfather. i found any time i would talk to my mom about anything she would turn it into about her. i could see your mom and step starting WW3 saying how they will have to take care of another mouth to feed, just be really selfish and make you feel bad. my mom told me i needed to get an abortion and how I can't take care of a baby, blah blah blah. you don't need them. you can apply for assistance like i said before and even get help with housing and food-stamps if you need it. i personally wouldn't wait for the OK to go back to work as your reason for why your staying in an unhealthy environment. From my experience no matter when you bring it up even if they are sober at the time, they will get drunk and ww3 will start. this disease makes people very selfish and they only think about themselves. you need to move out and as your baby grows see if she improves and later on rethink about your mom being involved. i would NOT trust your step father. he seems way out of control, and very abusive.So does your hubby have a job? and is there any other reason you have to live with your mom? i don't know how old you guys are but i would start planning now on how to move out asap. its not healthy for you and baby and husband to stay with out of control alcoholics. If you have any questions or need advice, I'm here anytime...good luck and congrats on your pregnancy. -gtowngirl-
We're both 24. Yeah I've made it clear that i don't like nor trust him. He keeps making comments saying my *** is wide and i told her that it makes me uncomfortable and got flipped out on s saying i can't take a joke. Well having been sexually abused nope i can't take a joke. I'm worried bc i can't control these hormones and when i get the slightest bit irritated i tweak out. I have an appt Tuesday with the ob and I'm gonna see about all that. It ***** bc they told me to take it easy until 12 weeks bc i had a threatened miscarriage at 6 weeks.
Let me know how it goes at yr doc. Appt. I don't like your step F. Either he gives me the creeps and just remember to take care of yourself. The baby feels what u feel, so try to not stress yr body out as much as possible... hope y'all are safe and if u have to u could always call a crisis center for help. Take care and good luck!~gtowngirl~
Oh my gosh, this sounds like a terrible place for your family to be. Isn't there anywhere else you can go? First pregnancies have to be watched so carefully (from experience). Please think of a way to get out. I'd rather be in a homeless shelter than live with the threat of their abuse. Even if i had to go myself, just to protect my child. Does your husband have anywhere he can stay, if you do opt f a homeless shelter? Your husband it working right? Please let us know how the OB's appointment goes. You're not alone, we care!! Liz
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