This patient support community is for loved ones of people who drink and are trying to quit for discussions relating to abuse, behavioral issues, caring for yourself, counseling, divorce and separation, enabling, guilt, and when to get medical help.
i recently left my boyfriend because he came home drunk and hit me once. i moved out of state then back in state. i found out i was pregnant. he wants to change and be in mine and my childs life. but im so scared for mine and my babys safety. what is the smartest thing to do??? --in need of help
Has he always been abusive? Your first priority is your child and you. If he becomes aggressive while drinking or drinks often he needs to get help by hiself otherwise you are looking for trouble. It is his child he has a right to be a part of its life but that does not mean he has to be in yours. I think you would benefit greatly from a group therapy like alanon. I would not just let him back with open arms. Even if it was the first time he hit you does not mean that it will not happen again unless he is willing to change his life. Best of luck to you and congrats on the new addition to your life, Sissie
thank you for your advice. and no he was never abusive up until recently. just the other night he drank again.. im procrastinating my decision.. he wants to be in my life too.. he says he will change and stop drinking.. but i have a gut feeling he wont. i always knew i wanted a family, but is it worth being beat? or worrying about my childs safety?
If he truly wants to change he will get help on his own. You wont have to tell him to get help or you wont be in his life. All you should have to say is I will not be around you while you are drinking. And no it is not worth taking the chance of being beaten or worrying about the safety of your child. It would also make a childs life a living hell to be split between two people you love that hurt each other. Trust me I was a child that grew up in that house hold. If you need someone to talk to please feel free to message me and add me as a friend on here. Best wishes, Sissie
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