scared for mom

hello, my mom is a very serious drinker, she drinks about a bottle of whickey every two days sometimes in only one day, she is small only about 120 pounds. when she gets badly drunk she makes up stories "serious" stories like she is in a whole nother world. But worse when she is really drunk her hands and feet tence up and she isnt able to walk or pick anything up. i have no clue what this could mean and she wont go to the doctor to get any help. please help me. thanks

[tschock]

I'm very sorry to hear about your mom.
My dad was an alcoholic, and my husband is one also.

I find that most of them do tend to make up fantastic stories, and some only speak the truth.

My husband's stories are out of this world...I think he said he saved the Queen once. lol
He also talks about things he would like to do. some of which are sickening to me. When he's sober, he's very sweet and would never say those kinds of things...he's only able to "tell the truth" about things he would like to do when he's drunk.

My dad, on the otherhand only spoke the truth...about things that he had done in the past...some of which were not very nice, or down right stupid.

Lots of them tend to "live out another life", one where they are happy. Maybe there is something missing in your mom's life and she is telling these stories because that is what she wants to have happen...or maybe she's telling them because she believes that these things DID happen to her at one point in time.
I don't know what kinds of things your mom says, but try to listen to her to see if perhaps she's talking about the past, or if she's looking for something in her future...or maybe it's just a bunch of gibberish and she's only talking to hear herself talk.
As for her hands and walking:
My dad would fall down, couldn't bend over to pick things up, ( even when he was sitting in his chair) would drop things all the time, etc.
When people get drunk their coordination is thrown off.  They stagger, they slur, walk into things, etc.
My dad had to use two canes to walk when he was drinking...which was most of the time.

I am very sorry to say that you can't force an alcoholic to receive medical help. You can talk until you're blue in the face...you can beg them, threaten them, etc...but they won't go.

If you feel that you really need to do something you could ask someone to come and pick her up and drag her to a doctor's office...but she probably won't talk to the doctor once she gets there.

You could maybe try telling her that you've noticed she has a problem with her hands and feet lately...( don't mention the booze and the fact that this only happens when she's drinking !  She'll stop listening if you do!) and tell her that you are concerned. Tell her that you think she has arthritis or something and should get checked out.
Other than that, you could try talking to family members and friends.
You would be surprised at the amount of support they can offer. Maybe someone older than her can help to convince her to seek help.


There are many on here that will give you much more insight.
Listen to what they have to say, and stay strong.

You didn't mention your age, but there are groups that you can go to for help as well...Al-anon, is a good place to start.

We are all here for you! Feel free to post back at any time...even if it's just to talk about random things. We're here for you!

[jarrett1234]

Thank you very much. I forgot to mention that she has spots all over her arms and It looks like she has liver spots I think they call it. What does this mean?

[mkh9]

Hi Jarrett1234,
I too am sorry about your mom. It is hard to live with an alcoholic and sad because you can't do much about it. The spots may be a sign of liver damage or cirrhosis. Maybe you can get her into the doctor based on that. But as the last person posted don't mention the alcohol to her it may make her avoid the doctor. My mom was an alcoholic but didn't fall or anything, but my uncle did and hurt himself a lot and lost his car when he blacked out etc. Trust me you have to protect yourself and get help for yourself. I didn't do it when I was in my 20's and my mom was an alcholic.  I got so stressed I ended up sick from migraines all the time . I thought I don't want to go to alanon I don't need that. My mom drank Sherry but about a extra large bottle a day. Yet, most of the time she didn't seem drunk. But, she would start very bad arguments and be hurtful. It does affect you later in life on how you react to things, treat people, ability to cope yourself and solve problems. You may be genetically inclined to become an alcoholic yourself if you drink. If I were you I wouldn't drink at all. My whole family Mother, grandpa, uncle, brother and cousins were alcoholics. I luckily didn't get this disease.
mkh9

[littlebit667]

do the spots look a little spider webbed?