41 yr old trying to cut down significantly

[Doozer00]

I've been on a downward spiral the last 9 months hitting it hard 2 cases a week and good beer to boot plus when I go out I can't stop and at home the same
How do I stop or cut down
I like my beers after a hard days work

[ibizan]

There is a saying"we have to gt sick and tired of being sick and tired"....perhaps you're not sick and tired enough yet to commit to not drinking?

[lofserenity]

Thank you.  I needed to read all this.  I am proud to be an active member of AA.  It took me years to finally admit that I had a problem with alcohol but I finally admitted it and I couldn't quit on my own.  I tried...it didn't work.  I thank my fellowship and the grace of God.  That approach may not work for everyone but it's helped ME and many millions.  It does work.  Medical professionals can help ease the "detox" but the fellowship of not being alone with this is like a huge boulder lifted off my shoulders...day by day, hour by hour.

I am grateful.  Give it a try......what can you lose by trying sobriety out one day at a time? I had the help of my joining an outpatient rehab program that took 6 weeks.  The meetings are crucial to recovery.  I have meet some of the greatest people and continue to meet in my recovery day by day -- which I do hope exists for me for a lifetime.  I can smile again!

Best wishes to you!

[Nighthawk61]

I must also say at this time, that enabling is not the only way that family members influence the recovering addict. Direct sabotage happens as well. It is optimal for an addict to find their way to independence if the family is in way able or likely (from past performance) to negatively influence a recovering addict., even if it means going to a homeless shelter a recovering addict should needs to make the hard choices, and leave. If an recovering addict cannot get a job, or has lost a job, or wants a better job, new recovery is a good place to choose to go back to school. It is a time for new growth, and reeducation can be a great part of the program. Nutrition, exercise,  meditation and yoga, along with any other positive activity are essential to optimal health and therefore essential to early recovery. Yes, IF handled correctly, the 12 step program is not the entire program, but rather an "aftercare" program, as in , in addition to a primary program. Many addicts think, or are directed to think, that they can deal with their recovery simply by going to an "open" meeting of AA or NA. That's where many problems exist with a 12 step program not being sufficient to maintain full recovery. It was never meant to be the cure all. It is only one phase of a much bigger plan for a recovering addict.

I suggest anyone wanting recovery go and read what the leading drug rehabs are doing for their clients, and if they cannot afford to go to rehab, try on their own to mirror all of the issues that are being dealt with in recovery with professionals. not just a 12 step program.  

[Nighthawk61]

A 12 step program is only one part of a larger whole program that is required to treat the problem of addiction. In most addiction rehabs, there is a  benefit associated with group therapy among many other modes of recovery including: Dual Diagnosis therapy, in the case of the addict or alcoholic, involving treatment of both the addiction and the co-occurring psychological or emotional condition. The psychological conditions often present symptomatically as:  Depression; Anxiety; PTSD; Panic Attacks; Phobia; along with Disorders including Eating; Sex; Gambling; Buying and other Impulse Control problems.. Accompanying these condition can be poor self-esteem; lack of confidence; interpersonal conflicts; unsatisfactory relationships; and a pervasive dissatisfaction with many aspects of life. For successful treatment and relapse prevention, it is essential to address both simultaneously. To achieve a positive outcome, accurate assessment and evidence-based treatment can be provided by licensed therapists credentialed in their respective specialties which can include CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) EMDR, Relapse Prevention; Anger Management; Motivation Enhanced Therapy; Spiritual and Holistic Lifestyle Therapy in order to heal the mind, body and spirit of the afflicted.
It should be noted that it is essential to also build into an addict's plan for recovery a family reintegration plan. Enabling is one of the primary reasons for relapse and therefore an essential part of Relapse Prevention.

The free, worldwide twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles outlining a course of action for recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems. The process involves, Admitting that one cannot control one's alcoholism, addiction or compulsion; recognizing a higher power that can give strength; examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced member); making amends for these errors; learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior; helping others who suffer from the same alcoholism, addictions or compulsions.

[Nighthawk61]

I'm confused, are you saying that you believe that "You can cut back significantly" or that "You need some serious clean time" to "Get your head screwed on straight enough to address these very serious and complex issues" ?

I have never found an instance that the 12 program  says your alcoholism is caused by character defects. Can you show me where you got your information ?

I have met many alcoholics who profess to have come from wonderfully nurturing environments and have had no traumatic events that they associate with their alcoholism. I personally cannot definitively know from their observation that there were no subconscious issues, however, that may have been a contributing factor to their addictions. You have stated definitively that (alcoholism) is "caused by serious psychological issues... could be loss, anger, trauma, mental illness, etc."  and i'm wondering if you have a reference for that observation?

[i41agree]

People are probably right when they say that complete abstinence your only option.  However, some people (lots of people actually) can and do cut back, significantly.  So if that thought gives you enough comfort to start tackling the problem head on, latch onto it.  The thought of eternal abstinence was too much for me to handle at first.
I'd suggest:
a) start tracking every drink every day - this helped me a lot
b) get a therapist, addictions counsellor, or psychologist right away and see him or her as often as you can afford to
No matter what 12 step programs say, your alcohol use is not caused by character defects.  It's caused by serious psychological issues.  Who knows what.  Could be loss, anger, trauma, mental illness, etc.  Only a professional can help you identify what's causing your drinking in the first place.
But one thing I think we can all agree on, and this was the toughest one for me, you need some serious clean time to get your head screwed on straight enough to address these very serious and complex issues.  Took me about 3 months sober before I was back to "normal".
Good luck.
Don't give up.
Took me 6 years of fighting to get sober.

[Nighthawk61]

Alcoholics can't cut down significantly, it's not possible due to the nature of the disease of addiction.

[ibizan]

No,you won't slip up if you KEEP ON KEEPING on with playing the tape the entire way thru to the end in your head of what will happen if you take the FIRST drink!Keep doing what you're doing....one hour at a time.one day at a time!Good to see you here!Hope to hear more from you!

[Dudley2828]

I know how you feel and after many years - some simple words from a friend are finally helping me cut back. They are;think about what you are gaining instead of what you are missing out on.  In my case tonight - instead of having a pint on way home, couple of beers on couch and close to a bottle of wine - I said those words as I was about to walk in pub and then walked out. What have I missed out on? The buzz of being drunk, poor sleep, anxiety tomorrow. What have I gained: two loads of washing, a good chat to mum on phone, healthy meal, in bed by 9 - and will feel great tomorrow. I have not missed out on anything... Just gained. I know I'll  slip up I know - but if I can practice this 4-5 days a week and have AFD's 4-5 days a week, life will be much better. Hope that helps. Good luck

[Nighthawk61]

My best advice is for you is to stop yourself from drinking for today, and schedule an appointment with an Addictions Therapist where you'll give them your history and find your options.

I used to think I "loved" alcohol. Then i replaced that thought and never have missed alcohol since. My family and myself reap the benefits of my having the thoughts that you are having today. Congratulations for getting to this point in the history that you are writing for yourself. Your honestly and your interest i a better way of life is good to hear. If you want amazing grace, continue on in this endeavor. It will be yours. It is yours, for the taking. There is SO MUCH help out here, for alcoholics. There are SO MANY amazing alcoholics that have found their best lives. Nobody missed being chained to the bottle. Haven't found one yet. Good for you!!!! You re on the right track. Keep going. Don t  lose momentum.

[Jacker]

At least consider taking a break from drinking for a period of time, so that you can figure things out. The quantity that you're drinking  along with the questions that you're asking yourself show that you have a problem.  Believe it or not, you do not absolutely need to have those beers after your hard day of work.   Change your routine after work, and get yourself sober so that  you can think clearly.   Believe it or not, stopping can be as easy as  deciding that you've had enough.   Physically speaking, the first week of the hardest. That's a small price to pay to regain your sanity .