Alcoholic

[Kreepieman21]

My husband is 54,and has been drinking for the ten years I've known him. He never wants to go anywhere with me and hides his beer cans in anyplace you can think.. He doesn't bathe and smells like midew all the time. He is into porn basically all the time, because we never have intimacy with I his wife. His cheeks and parts of his face are red like a chipmunk, Do you have an answer? Its making depressed at times. Thank you.

[Nighthawk61]

Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.[

Hi there, Welcome to Medhelp It sounds like you married into a Co-dependent relationship and that your husband is addicted to both alcohol and porn. An Interventionist (Addiction's Therapist) will help you set a plan in motion to best serve  both the addict and their loved ones.

Gone are the days when there was no help, there is a proven methodology that you can count on to help you progressively move forward.

[Jacker]

Well, at some point your husband's going to have to figure out his life, or he might die young and lonely. Those are hard words, but drinking like that doesn't end well, and as you know, it's not good for a marriage either.  Since I was the one drinking in my relationship, it's probably hard for me to give you advice. I was not the one in your shoes. But in the end, I lost enough so that I had to make some decisions.  And I chose LIFE.  But  I had to  reach my personal "bottom" first.  I don't think you can make your husband reform, but have you told him in very strong words how you feel about his drinking?   Politely ignoring it, or being silent and hoping it will go away acts as an enabler.   A normal person would notice the lack of intimacy and communication, but someone who is in the midst of drinking just wants to be left alone so that they can continue to drink. At least that's my experience.