Am I over reacting to the occasional binge drinking?

I joined this forum because I think my husband has a drinking problem. He doesn't drink every day or most days during the week. We've been married for about 7 years and have two young children at home. I'm not sure if I'm over reacting or not, but he'll go out on the weekends with the "guys" and once he starts drinking can't seem to stop?  What ends up happening is that he'll drink so much that he can't get home and ends up having to stay at a friends house until the next morning.  I am so enraged by the time he gets home the next day I usually don't know what to say.  This all came to face when this past summer we were at my family reunion and while I was in the hotel sleeping with our 4 week old baby he was drinking so much that he ended up making out with my aunt!  I found all this out the next morning when he was passed out on the bathroom floor.  Of course he lied and said nothing happened, but once I was told by the rest of my family how wasted he was and what really happened he had no way to lie.  More recently this last time he and his friends were out and he was so wasted that he kept calling me and when he knew I was upset attempted driving. I got a call from a police officer saying he didn't want to take him to jail, but my husband fell asleep while driving at a red light in downtown Wahsington D.C..  He asked if I could come pick him up.  I couldn't believe that they didn't take him to jail?  Only because he is a pilot in the military and they knew that would be the end of his career.  What advice do you have for me?  The binge drinking happens about 1-3 times a month where he can't function at all.  He does drink on other occasions and has been know to drink by himself, which he and his friends think is so funny.  Sometimes I've noticed that he has finished a whole entire bottle of wine by himself (not on a regular basis) but still.  I don't know if I'm over reacting or if this is as serious as I believe it to be.  He insists that he doesn't have a problem and that he just uses hanging with friends and drinking to fill a void that is not being met by our marriage. I thought thats what alcoholism was: filling a void?  He is highly functioning, very successful, and wears the mask of a model citizen until he drinks.  What is your take?  

[ibizan]

u r not overreacting here this is a serious problem!i had 2 college degrees and worked in a professional capacity in a mental health center when i came to grips with my alcoholism/drug addiction.Look around u in this world...the fields of enter tainment sports music etc...loads of talented people with major problems.Shame the cop didn't give him a DUI for the red light incident,he coulda killed himself and others.professional enabling its called...well u could try to talk to him again to get help but it will most likely prove presently futile so u need to get urself 2 Al-Anon or a good counselor to handle how this progresses...for it will!

[uberadtx]

Your husband has an extremely serious problem on his hands.  Your husband drinks 1-3 times monthly too much, a bottle of wine too many.   Alsoholism is more than just "filling a void" but thats a nice excuse he has.  Doesn't work though and its bull.  His behavior is unacceptable and inappropriate no matter if he remembers it or not.  Which is an entirely other issue!  
HIS drinking is now YOUR problem and thats absolutely unacceptable.  Let me tell you that his drinking will get worse and its not going to be funny to him anymore.  The thing is that YOU can not stop him, you can not change him and you can not fix this for him.  I am as incensed as you over the police officer incident and you SHOULD complain regardless of how much time has passed.  Get it on record because I tell you that him getting arrested MIGHT save his life.  I understand that you may feel confused, distraught and guilty but your marriage is being destroyed by alcohol.  He is not the enemy, the alcohol is and you need to put it in perspective.  His drinking is making him something he is not when he is sober and that is lethal.  You have to educate yourself about alcoholism.  Even though he thinks he doesn't have a problem, he does and you know it.  My advice is the same as Ibizan.  She is an angel!  You have to contact Al-anon ASAP!  There is NO reason to be alone in this fight.  You may even have to enlist support of someone you trust, whether it be a friend or family. If I were you, I would be scared of what the next binge brings and how this is all affecting your children.  Take that fear and bring it to Al-Anon and let them help you. They can guide you as to what YOU can do.  Its not easy but you have the strength.  Keep posting here and we will support you also.  There is no reason for you to live like this.

[ibizan]

;) thank u Uber!wise advice here lhoop...Uber KNOWS what she is talking about...u need to be proactive for ur son and urself!U have along difficult road ahead of u!