Am i wrong?

[Mother of bailey]

To think that my husband should have a nuff respect for me and my kids not to get drunk every night??We can have 10$ to our name and he will beg to by beer,then get realey mad if i say someting about it..Money is realey tight right now, we have a child with cancer so that takes up most if not sometimes all of our money.

My hubby hasd always drank at leat one or two everynight, but for the last year he drinks almost a case a night..I think it might be becuse he fills so helpless about our son..but i dont know ..I do worry that someting will happen to our son and my hubby will be to drunk to do anything...I Love My Hubby, i just need some help on how to make him understand what his drinking is doning to me and our kids....Thank You....Valerie

[sheltercrow]

We have to come clean here and be honest here. You are buying into his alcoholism and providing him with the emotional space to be the best alcoholic he can be. If you don’t act now there may be no tomorrow for any of you as a family. It’s a harsh reality but it has to be faced.
Either he gives up the boozing or he gives up the family. With each passing day the chances for the family will get slimmer. The entire clamor for sympathy for his drinking (and spending) disease is mote when the consequences are so dire for the whole family. I have yet to find a family that has survived intact when there is an alcoholic crashing about.
If you love you must make it understood to him where and what his obligations and responsibilities are. Not only is he pissing away the family fortune, reputation and unity he is also providing another generation (the kids) with a lousy example of what a father and mother should be when they grow up.

[Mother of bailey]

I know what u are saying...i do find myself very resentfull of him...hes always telling me how much he loves me and how sexey i am when he is drunk...i dont even here him any moore i block him out...he makes all thes promases when he is drunk..that never come to light,,i dont know im so stressded . i fill like im takeing care of evry thing my self...i love him, but i dont want him to touch me..i think i love what he used to be...


Valerie

[misscurious]

Im very sorry about this, but he's a selfish jerk. He has absolutely no respect, or atealst isnt showing it for his family. His alcohol abuse means more to him than feeding his family and sick child.
Quite frankly, there is no excuse for his actions.You will never look past these moments of need, It will be exceptionally hard to accept his future appologies. He has done you and your family wrong. This is the time where family comes togather and helps eachother, not drink by himself.
Im sorry to be so negative, but resentment is something that is very HARD to make go away. Eventful cheating, occasional put downs, things like that, are considerable, but not consistent hurtfulness... consistency shows no remorse. He insists on hurting your family... he knows what he is doing.
Jen... a mother and a fighter of alcoholic-domestic violence.

[sara......]

Hi, I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through. Can I ask, what kind of a drunk is he? Does he get emotional, happy and silly or aggressive? Have you ever suggested he speak to someone or would he get angry. Does he think he has a problem? Does he have any alcohol free nights a week? Sorry for all the quesitons but I've worked a bit with people with addictions and I'm trying to get an idea of the situation. I agree with the above poster that you need to tell your husband exactly how you feel about this so he knows he's upsetting you and why, even if you find it awkward or he gets mad.
Good luck, hope to hear back from you soon.

[011207]

I'm sorry you're going through this.
If he is an alcoholic he won't care what his drinking is doing to you or your kids because it's out of his control.  If he is an alcoholic he is not able to make a conscious choice between his family and the drink.  The drink will win every time and it's not because he doesn't love you all, it's because he has a disease.  ALcoholics will find every reason in the world to drink even if everything is seemingly going well.
I suggest you talk to him and tell him that his behavior will not be tolerated and that he needs to get himself to an AA meeting and you need to go to an al a non meeting as well to better understand what the disease is all about.
Maybe he's not an alcoholic though.  Maybe he is under a lot of stress and doesn't really know how to cope, either wasy it's behavior that could potentially ruin your family both financially and emotionally.  Talk to him honestly about how you feel.... start from there.