I usually only drink on Tuesday and Saturday nights because I am off the next day. It does happen sometimes that I feel like a "cold one" after a stressful day (and may have 2-3), but the norm is 4-5 beers twice a week. My wife swears I am an alcoholic, but it does not ever affect my job, I do not drink and drive, just BBQ!;-) Do I have problems???
Only you can say whether you're an alcoholic or not. Here's some questions from the AA website. If you answer yes to 4 or more questions, then you may have a problem with alcohol.
1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. Then we came to A.A. A.A. said: "Just try not to drink today." (If you do not drink today, you cannot get drunk today.)
2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own drinking, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to.
3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we did not drink cocktails. Or only drank on weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if we drank anything with alcohol in it, we usually got drunk eventually.
4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not drinking "socially."
5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, who really can take it or leave it.
6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse -- never better. Eventually, you will die, or end up in an institution for the rest of your life. The only hope is to stop drinking.
7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
Before we came into A.A., most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us drink. We could not see that our drinking just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime.
8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Most of us used to have a "few" before we started out if we thought it was going to be that kind of party. And if drinks were not served fast enough, we would go some place else to get more.
9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we drank because we wanted to. After we came into A.A., we found out that once we started to drink, we couldn't stop.
10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were hung-over or on a drunk.
11 - Do you have "blackouts"?
A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember. When we came to A.A., we found out that this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking.
12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Many of us started to drink because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt trapped. We were drinking to live and living to drink. We were sick and tired of being sick and tired.
DGB...Ga Guy is right. Only you know if you have a problem. It doesn't sound as if you have one to me.....4-5 beers twice a week just doesn't sound like that much, but watch out for it to escalate into more. That's exactly how it happened with me. I've drank off and on since my 20s and am now in my 50s and have gone years without drinking. But over the last 3 or so years, I began again, and now I'm struggling.
1) "I usually only drink on Tuesday and Saturday nights because I am off the next day".
Hmmmm, how thoughtful. Is it because your feeling a little hung over?
2) "It does happen sometimes that I feel like a "cold one" after a stressful day (and may have 2-3) ..........." --- Sooo, "Sometimes" its more than Tues. and Sat.? ... and after this "Stressful" day a "Cold one" turns into two or three? Never more? I mean if one or two is three, than can two or three be five or six?
3) "....but the norm is 4-5 beers twice a week." --- Except on stressful work days.
4) " My wife swears I am an alcoholic...." -- She does? Why?
5) " ....but it does not ever affect my job, I do not drink and drive,....."
Not that this applies to you, but alcoholics are notoriously good workers and faithful employees. They also are terrified at the thought of jail and often manage to drink at home and stay out of trouble where they might lose their freedom .... to drink.
6) " ... Just BBQ ;-) " ---- Yes... the BBQ!! Are the BBQ's on Tues., Thurs. or the stressful days after work?
Okay! I'm done being a jerk!! Sorry, but I hoped you would see what I see, in the little you wrote. I took the liberty of reading your short profile and commend you for your thoughtful insight to at least listen to your wife whom you love and start asking the tough questions. For taking that long look in the mirror and asking, "Am I"?
The saying goes, "If you have to ask, you probably are." Don't let the 6 to 12 to 18 to maybe a case a week on bad/good weeks fool you either. Here's something to ponder. Social Drinkers don't drink to catch a buzz, relax, relieve stress or because there's a BBQ or it's a hot day, or a hundred other excuses. -- Alcoholic's Do. Social drinkers drink one or two drinks, once or twice a YEAR. Alcoholic's don't.
If your drinking to relive stress, feel good, to forget, because your thirsty or ya just want to get drunk then your an alcoholic, sure as I am. I drank much like you for a time when I had a life to manage and a woman to love. Managed for many years too. One beer was six and a half pint was a fifth. Until the lying and hiding became a farce and the gig was up. Then the constant falling down and getting back up just to get my clock cleaned again and again.
In short, if you have what it takes to quit NOW, do so. For YOU and for the sake of your marriage. For your on a road that millions have traveled that leads to misery. If you find that you cannot cope without alcohol for any significant amount of time don't fret!! There is help, but first one has to make the admission that he holds no power over the drink but it fact, the drink holds him.
I pray you find the answers and peace you seek. Good Luck and God Bless ~Burrpatch
Alcoholism is not really defined by how much you drink or how often you drink but rather when you continue to drink despite it having negative effects on your life. Now, your wife thinking you're an alcoholic is a negative thing but she may be blowing things out of proportion. Perhaps she's sensitive to alcohol consumption due to an alcoholic parents or a bad experience? Does she just not like anyone drinking any amount at any time?
Drinking 10 beers a week really isn't any big deal if that's indeed what it is...and I think we've all had days when we just wanted to relax and have a few "cold ones" to unwind. This is fine.
What worries me is that you define "tuesday" and "saturday" as drinking days, i.e. like you make a plan that those are your drinking nights because you know you can drink without having to wake up in the morning. Planning to drink and/or thinking about your next drink is not a good sign.
Talk with your wife, ask her specifically what it is that bothers her about your drinking. Does she think you drink too often? Too much? Both? Are you really just having a few beers on tuesday and saturday night or are you getting blasted out of your mind and blacking out? Having a few drinks is one thing but if you're planning to drink and get drunk twice a week then you may have an issue.
Either way it's obviously something she doesn't like so have a talk with her, a REAL talk and find out what it is she doesn't like. In the meantime if you can stop or cut down then go ahead and do that for her sake and your marriages sake. Not saying you can never drink again but maybe not do it as much or in front of her if it bothers her that much.
On the other hand, if you're making plans to get drunk and are getting drunk multiple times a week then you may have a problem. Either way it's not healthy and you should consider cutting back or quitting altogether.
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