Can anyone relate to this?

[kumara]

I've routinely drunk a cask of wine (3 litres) over the course of 2 days,for many years.
Why? Not sure but it makes me feel good and eases the stress of a stressful job, difficult other family health issues. No hangovers and I don't think anyone realises ( even my family) what I've been doing for so many years.
Recently I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy, likely the consumption of this amount of alcohol was a factor in this happening to me.
Now I'm drinking even more, had to quit working because of all the cancer treatment I needed and the work I did couldn't be left without a replacement. If I'm dying from breast cancer what the heck does it matter anyway!

[Jacker]

Did the doctors say the cancer was terminal, or do you have a good chance at recovery?  Your body needs all of its resources to recover.  If you've been drinking for a long time, then your body will likely have toxins due to reduced liver function.  If you can wean yourself from the alcohol, I think you will have a better shot at beating the cancer.  When alcohol started to really take control of my life, I started to experiance some health issues.  I decided that if I was going to die, I wanted to die sober.  In my case, I thought there was something tragic or pitiful about dying of self induced liver failure (or from any of the other symptoms of alcohol abuse).  We're all going to die some day, but I don't want die as a drunk.  I'll admit that I've never had to face what you're facing, but give yourself a fighting chance against the cancer (just one guy's opinion).  
If you do decide to quit, tell you doctors how much you've been drinking - you've got a lot going on in your body right now, and they might be able to help you with a smooth transition.  

[working dog]

i have to wonder if you have any kids...i see lots of girls that have had a mastectomy and are doing fine ...a good friend of mine has had cancer come and go for many years..she was doing real well with the cancer..had a mastectomy over 10 years ago...then.....one of her sons jumped in front of a train last year...we were all real worried about her..it was so tough but shes doing ok now...she told me she thinks about him all the time...i'm trying to help her when i can but i can tell you her cancer is nothing compaired to loosing her son .....she doesn't drink much though.............i was drinking quite a bit and knew i had to stop...then a dog i loved died of cancer and i just stopped everything ...no more drinking didn't feel like it...i was so uptight that i could have done better for my dog i just shut down...well that lead real quick into bad withdrawals and blood tests...then i found out i had hep c on top of it...so it hasn't been a picnic...but i'm taking real good care of myself now and i feel real good about that....someday i'll do the treatments..right now they last for 48 weeks so i'm holding off for better treatments....trying to get a good handle on the stress thing...thats getting much easier to deal with the longer i don't drink...life is much better without alcohol messing with your body and brain...my kids are all doing good ..that helps a lot....i've also met friends on these forums over time that i really like a lot and thats fun....your drinking quite a lot so your going to need some help cutting down a quitting...i think you need to set some goals... be real honest with your familly so they can be there for you..and the breast thing is way over rated these days...not worth getting hung up over that...good luck with everything ..good to see your posting here....billy

[kumara]

Well Jacker, that was the first time I've "publically" admitted to this drinking problem I've had for 20+ years. It has been my big secret and I'm an expert at concealing it.
I read your words "there was something tragic or pitiful etc" and it really struck home.
My cancer prognosis is actually good, the things I'm struggling with are the side efffects of the medication I have to take for 5 years, and dealing with the physical sight of my body after the mastectomy.
I'm currently drinking to ease my physical discomfort and blot out the ugliness of my surgically altered body.
I am ashamed of my lack of  personal strength when I see how strong other women are who are currently dealing with breast cancer in circumstances far more difficult than mine.
So I'm going to quit drinking for one day and then another. Your story is inspirational to me.
Thank you.

[Jacker]

I could try to add to my previous statement, but if my words helped you, then I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.  I never admitted my drinking habit "publically" until I entered this site either.  That's after 15 years of daily drinking and another 10+ of binge drinking before that.  I'm glad to hear that your prognosis is good - I know you have a lot to deal with, and I'll keep you in my prayers.  

[kumara]

Thanks billy for reading and your words. It feels like, today,  I've finally decided to do something about this drinking problem. Your idea to set some goals for myself is just great. So goal number one is a drink free day tomorrow, and then the day after and so on.
I realise if there is no alcohol in the house then I can't drink, so I'm beginning by removing the wine cask in the fridge that is half full.
Thanks billy

[working dog]

be carefull ! it's great to hear your working on the drinking problem but withdrawals can be really something...cold turkey may not be a good idea without some librium or something...by the third night things can get pretty tough for a while....i would get some help..see a doctor and tell them that you've got this drinking problem..they'll give you something to help the anxiety....looking back at myself quitting alcohol i should have gotten some help....billy

[ibizan]

oh yes one hour atta time..one day atta time i....we here all know this well!....do u have kids? a husband?my mom is now 89 with Lewy Body Dementia.At age 62 she had a mastectomy and lymph node removed under one arm.i watched her go thru chemo and all its ugliness.....she ate a lot of bananas  even tho getting sick..said all the potassium needed.....she is cancer free to this day and tells others struggling with this to keep up good nutrition and eat those bananas.In time i hope u come to view ur body as a house...and our houses get older...change....fall apart..need repair....and if urs can be repaired then to hopefully make the best of ur life......breast cancer survivors are a source of strength to other women struggling with this......i have known women die of this in their 30's with young children!That is so tragic....cherish what life u have my dear......the alcohol is bad for ur recovery either way...but then u know that!:))))))so many good ppl here 2!