Day 18 and angry and intolerant

Hi all,

I am day 18, and have been attending aa meetings regularly. I was made redundant in Feb, but had been drinking for a looooong time before that.

Anyway, my reason for my post is that I am more intolerant now than ever before. My escape route for everything doesn't exist and I am really, really angry. My patience is non-existent and even plates left in the wrong place is enough to send me flying off the handle. I have just got back from a few days break and fear it's the lack of routine and change, by not working 45 hours a week.

Am going to a meeting tonight, but I really, really want to pour myself a stiff drink, as by not drinking I have awakened a bundle of feelings. I cannot deal with being this angry and miserable, I was bloody happier drinking.

Rant over and thanks for any advice on how to control this, as I don't want to drink!!!!

[boogieman]

Hello. There's good news and bad news. The bad is you're right where you're supposed to be. When we self medicate with any drug, we repress emotions that we would normally feel. In time, these build up, and when we suddenly remove our coping mechanism, be it alcohol or something else, these emotions are still there, and they come to the surface, which can be overwhelming. The good news is, it gets better, it just takes time. These can be minimized however, by remembering the basics. There is a widely used acronym known as HALT, don't let yourself get too Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired. We tend to neglect these things and others like exercise while drinking. When any of these arise, pick up the phone, talk to another alcoholic, or get to a meeting. And express to someone else how you feel. Most all of us have been right where you are, and gotten through it without drinking. One day, hour, even minutes at a time. Additionally, many also have some type of emotional disorder that has been masked by the alcohol, and it needs to be addressed by a professional. Do you have a sponsor? If so, talk to them. If not, get one, at least a "temporary" sponsor, as they can be helpful in navigating the sea of unrest. Get a big book and read it. Pray for help, even if you don't know or believe in what you're praying to. These are all simple things to do, but not always easy. But the more you do them, the less difficult they will be. Another acronym is SOBER, son of a b1tch, everythings real. But our reality will improve as we practice these things in our daily lives. Keep going to meetings, and no matter what, don't drink. It gets better! Take care, GM

[dominosarah]

Couldnt of said it better than boogieman did........sara

[ibizan]

u weren't happier drinking...u blotted out reality and taking responsibility for ur life!oh yes the acronym for SOBER is true!i agree with boogieman all da way!:)

[snow82]

Thanks guys. I got myself to the meeting last night and shared how I was feeling. Off to another meeting tonight. I wanted to get a month behind me before i approached a sponsor, but have a feeling I need to do it now. Like the OSBER acronym. Have heard the HALT before. Guess I need to keep reminding myself of it!!

Kx

[boogieman]

Howdy. Ya, you can get a temporary sponsor for now, and see how things go. There's no obligation to keep them, some have to go through a couple before finding the right person. As a general rule, as I was told, you want to find someone who is the same sex, has something you would like to have in your life, has worked the steps, and has a sponsor of their own. From what I've seen, when someone is ready to do what it takes to stay sober, its not a big deal finding one, "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear" take care, GM