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365714 tn?1292199108

End stage stories

I'm bringing this topic back because it was requested. Anyways, if you have a story to share please feel free to post it here. I'm working on the med health page and I can add your story to it.
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Avatar universal
My husband is an alcoholic
Mizzbub
My husband is 34 yrs old and hes been drinking most of his life,3 yrs ago he went to the ER they told him if he didnt quit he would be dead in a year,well lets just say he didnt listen and switched from beer to liquior,about a month ago he went back to the ER with swelling and pain in both legs the hospital admitted him and diagnosed him with chf,blood clots and said he had a small stroke and he had fluid in his lungs he was also very jaundice they discharged him after 3 days sent him home with a weeks worth of antibiotics, when he got home the chest pains got worse he had no appetite swollen stomach and alot of blood in his stools he also has those red blotches all over his body that kind of look like red spiders sorry cant remember the medical term,I cant get him to go to to his doctors appointments and he is still drinking heavy but this weeks its like hes going back to normal hes eating not sleeping as much has alot more energy not as much chest pains not blood in his stools and its solid is this normal? I know he cant be getting better right? He not on any medications has anyone ever heard of this? Im confused of whats going on.


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3200158 tn?1386592717
  i relate to so much. im e litte older and i have seen so many of my friends and family end up on the wrong side of the grass due o straight alcoholism. there is no happy ending to that story.....period.........kk
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Avatar universal
My husband is an alcoholic.  He snores, has frequent heart burn, has pneumonia twice in past 3 years and is over weight.  just wondering if any one would know what stage he could be in?  Could death possibly be near?  You see, I am planning on divorcing the SOB.  Not only does he hold these symptoms, but he has become a complete *******.  He has betrayed me, has lied to me, deceived me, mocked me - all in the past year.  I left him twice now and this time I have been gone for over three months and he just doesn't have a care in the world except for his Miller High Life.  he drinks 5-6 beers Mon - Thur, probably 10 on Fridays and then 15-30 Sat & Sun.  He cracks his first beer open at 9 am on Saturdays.  he has a job.  He has totalled 2 cars in the past 2 years, but didn't get caught because I picked him up!  Never has had a DWI cuz I was his DD or he has just gotten very lucky.  So I am wondering if anyone has any kind of thought as to when this jerk might leave this earth.  Cuz why bother divorcing him when he is going to be dead pretty soon anyway?
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3060903 tn?1398565123
I would love to see you post on the Alcoholism forum You don't really need a question to post, you can just copy and paste your commenet, saying that you are thankful to medhelp in part for your recovery. It's incredible that you've come so far on your own. I'd love to see you stick around and make some firends on here, for when the times are tough. Liz
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3060903 tn?1398565123
Congratulations on your 5 weeks plus wtihout a drink, and your resolve to stay clean. No one ever regrets their clean time. It's never too late to take your life back from the ravages of excessive drinking. It's been almost 15 yrears for my husband and myself. I can't believe the way i used to drink and act. What a crime to throw away so much of myself to such an unworthy suitor, it's a crying shame. I have my regrets, but my son sees that i' am a changed women. He's proud to call me his mom again. He's grateful for everything that i do for him minus the alcohol. I think now i could never go back, but that too is a fantasy, there is always a chance, and that's why i stay here on medhelp. Same reason as you. We're the same you and me. Im proud of the steps you've taken, and hope to hear you stickin around here. We need you, We need each other.  Liz
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3060903 tn?1398565123
Oh my gosh ~ what a trial of courage and strength , for the both of you. May there be a corresponding angel in your husband's ear, for then he will have a complete set. I just have to say that i am SO proud that you thought of another mother' possibly wasting their child's last gift to this world.  I just sucked in my breath when i read your words. To be so unselfish at a time like this, to be so clear on the realities of the situation, and to act upon it with a doctor, is so courageous and beautiful.  Both my husband and myself have HepC and one or both may need a liver in the future. It's good to know that somewhere someone would give us any credit all for our sobriety of just about 15 years now, and maybe deem us now as being worthy of the honour of a transplant.  It's a hard thing for me to be, as we were the cause of our own predicament.  Thank you so much for that.......God bless you. I left you a Welcome Message, i'm so glad i'm up to speed. There are online Alanon meetngs, but it might be helpful for you to congregate with others, and maybe find some support there for yourself. I went to ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics)  and AA NA CA, ad it was just nice sometimes to go out an have a coffee after a meeting, or to go shopping together. Hope you check out a couple of meetings to look for the best fit for you. I'm praying your husband finds his way back to you. Liz
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
Al-Anon is a support group for family members of the alcoholic.It helps you as a family member set limits with your alcoholic while decreasing the amount of enabling that occurs....and hopefully helps you regain whats left of your sanity!If you call your county outpatient substance abuse center they will have a meeting list plus many times they are listed in your local newspaper.
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Avatar universal
I have never heard of that please tell me what that is
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
WOW!have u ever been to a Al-Anon meeting?U so need to attend one ASAP!
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Avatar universal
I am going through the same thing with my husband.
It started with swollen feet and high blood pressure. He finally went to the Dr after what seemed like a month of not being able to put his shoes on.
The Dr prescribed him fluid pills and high blood pressure pills. And after asking my husband about his diet and how much he drank (btw he lied about how much he drank) the Dr said that he wanted to do blood test next time he came into the office. Needless to say next time never came.Six month or more went by.
I could not get him to go even when he started coughing up blood.
One night after coming home from work and found him white,bloated and talking out of his mind. He has really dark eyes an jet black hair so the whiteness was very pronounced.He is only 38 years old!
The only way I can explain it is when I watched ET as a child and ET was laying in the bathroom dying. That's what he looked like.
I called 911 and even now as I was on the phone with them he was yelling in the back "I am not going"
We'll they came and he was arguing with them but they also noticed his confusion so I was asked to become his decision maker cause he was not capable to make them for himself.
Finally I was in control something I wish I could have been all along.
They drove him to the hospital and that's where my nightmare began.He started to get back in his right mind. The DR came in and asked him how much he drank and of course my husband lied to him.
I waited till the Dr got done walked outside and told the Dr about the actual alcohol consumption. This was not the time to lie.  
After that  they stared with the Blood transfusions.
He was put into ICU and I was asked to go home and come back the next morning. I got a call from his nurse telling me that they had to restrain him cause he started to go through withdrawals and I was glad that I had power because he wanted to leave.
The next morning he was put into a coma and I was told of his condition.
I knew it was bad but I had no idea they expected him not to make it.
They could not get the bleeding to stop even after trying to band the gains that had build up in his GI track. They flew him to a larger hospital and they done a TIPPS  surgery. Even there they told me chances are he would not make it. Well after many many hours of praying and pleading with God he started to improve. Against all odds mind you.
We spend two weeks in the hospital me only leaving his side to take a shower at the Ronald MCDonald house because we live three hours away from this hospital. Now we are home and have been for about two weeks and he seemed to be doing fine. Yesterday I found two bottles of beer one full one and one half drunk.
I flipped out my fight or flight kicked in and I have to tell you I am leaning toward flight. I do not know if I can do this again.
The needs a transplant but must remain sober for six month before they will put him on a list. And yesterday in a fit of anger I told him that he does not deserve a liver. And the sad thing is that I firmly believe that.
I love him more than life itself and would gladly give him some of mine.
But I will not lie to the Dr should he ask me if my husband is drinking.
I let this one time slide because everyone deserves a second chance.
But I will not let him be put on a list if he continues to drink. I would not want my child's liver to go to someone who will just destroy it.
And I am done enabling him.
Wow I had no idea I had so much to say
  

    
    
  
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Avatar universal
update ct scan also came back normal. im confused. still haven't had a drink. it feels good to be sober. don't know how im doing it but I am. surprising myself. one day ay=t a time. does anyone know about paws. I think that may be what im going through. boy withdrawal really *****. but the only way out of it is through it. I have so much respect for any alcoholic in recovery. people just don't know how bad being an alcoholic is like. I never knew when I first started drinking things could get so bad and difficult. god bless all of you
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Avatar universal
I am 5 weeks without a drink. a lot because of this forum. it scared me sober. been drinking about ten years im 61 yrs old. also last time I drank. when I was sober realized I was feeling very ill. severely weak for 2 days nauseous dizzy. no jaundice bleeding or vomiting. started feeling a little better but not ok. still really really tired. had to rest a lot. short term memory loss pretty bad. went to the dr after 4 weeks. she knows I drink. all the blood work came back normal both liver and kidney functions. I was shocked. last fridat went for abdominal ct scan. waiting for results. still baffled how blood work could be ok when I feel so bad. sleeping a lot all I want to do. any ideas? want out of this addiction.
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3060903 tn?1398565123
Hello, just a head's up, i think it would be good if you posted in the Addictions Living with an Addict, or the Abuse (phsical/mental) for replies to your predicament. How to help an addict, that won't admit there being a problem? That is the concern of Alanon, and it would be a great place for you to start. The problem I'm seeing in your post, is not so much your boyfriend's problem, that's easy to see, and there's help for him. And, there's help correspondingly for you in Alanon. The thing is this, there are many underlying issues why a person chooses to use drugs and alcohol, and getting to that underlying fact is as important as anything else. But, what of you? What of your accepting a man who spits and urinates on you? What happened to you that it's okay for this man to do this to you? I came from abuse, and accepting abuse in my first marriage. I simply had no other expectation. I ended up with a wonderful man who is also an alcoholic like myself. But, he's not an animal and he would no soon urinate on another human being, drunk high, what have you , than to fly to the moon. You need to raise the bar honey, and move on and make you your project. If you can your boyfriend a big book, 12 step book and the Addictions forum of this site, then consider him handled, and get on to living your best life, and finding a man who is good to you, and incapable of that type of behavior, include in there cheating, and you might find a man worthy of your obvious caring nature. If you need to talk, please feel free to message me. My husband and I are both clean and sober since July 1999. Maybe we can help? Liz
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
OMG! do u think so little of urself that u continue to tolerate this abuse?PLS PLS PLS RUN don't walk to the nearest Al-Anon meeting u can find!urinated on u?:(sigh!
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Avatar universal
I met a heavy drinker 15 months ago yet i never realized just how much he drank he was a great guy swept me of my feel he made me feel like i was the only girl in the world but then he changed i couldnt seem to ask him anything unless he put me down even asking about his work he would only ever say "you wouldnt understand" i kept trying to say id love to know about how your day was but it never happened, he would acuse me of seeing someone or if i hired a lawn mower man obviously in his eyes i was sleeping with him aswell or questioned my where abouts and 99% of the time i was at home, he would just go to the garage and drink excessive amounts of booze and talk nasty to me and then started the verbal abuse i was a C word and he spat on me also urinated on me and he thought that was funny and i said that was so uncalled for that its discusting, i tried talking to him about getting help or seeing a doctor and he always said he would but never did, he ended up moving into his own little unit where it didnt matter how much he drank as no one could see him, i visited him alot as we were still together, he would be nice for a minute then change so quickly about how wrong i am and how controlling i am and really im none of that, all ive been is helpful loving and caring and im treated so wrong, days can go by and i cant get a reply to a text i send him and then all the excuses come "im tired"  or "im seedy" or "ive just woken up" i found i was always asking if i could come and see him and id get a reply hours later saying "i just want to relax" or I have a headache the excuses keep coming, its just not me hes pushing away hes pushing his family away aswell i dont know what to do i keep saying im not going to text him today but i always do as im generally concerned for his wellbeing please any advice would be appreciated
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365714 tn?1292199108
There's one in the med health pages, and all over the forum, but to be honest I'm getting annoyed being the only person who bothers whit the med health pages, when I believe it should be something everyone whould contribute to.

So yeah, I stopped adding more to the med articles, but that does not mean that it should be forgotten about. It just means I want other people to take over what I started.

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Alcoholism/Stories-from-people-whove-seen-how-bad-it-can-get--end-stage-stories/show/127?cid=103
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Avatar universal
Weren't there a lot more end stage stories not too long ago?  Seems we're missing some...
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365714 tn?1292199108
You're welcome, though I think it was someone else who bounced it up to the top. I'd like to see people add onto the medhelp health pages as well. I have two, one being a duplicate of stories I've found on the forum that I felt were worth saving and the other being people's stories that made them want to quit.

I don't have to be the only member adding onto those pages.  The only requirement is that one must "join" the forum to be able to edit the pages. That is have the forum in their profile of "joined" communities..  If people on here are nervous about joining, they can just join temporarly to edit the health page.  I did that with the HPV forum when I found something to add into their community.  I'm glad to see someone later came up with something better.  The health pages are there for a reason. They are a great place to put links to helpful resources, etc...

For instance if anyone has any good advice they got anywhere, feel free to make a med page.
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243614 tn?1266197537
First off thank you for bringing this thread back MJ.  If these stories aren't enough to scare anyone to sobriety, i don't know what would.  My heart goes out to all of you.
I never knew it could get so bad.  I am so thankful i am on track with the drinking.
i have been so upset about my Mom i sent my husband to a friends pool party without me last night.  I knew i should not be around any booze, because it would be too hard to not have a six pack.  It is best to avoid the temptation when one is stressed and anxious.  I feel much better today, more at peace.  Giving it over to God and prayer does help.  Also great support from here and my sponsor.  Thank you to all for sharing your stories. Tonya
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Avatar universal
I've been on here a few times about my husband who has cirrosis and whose liver decompensated. He had the hepatic enceph and edema and he pulled through. But within one day of being out of hospital and having not had a drink for the three weeks (ish) he was in hospital, he was back on his beloved Guinness. He is now drinking every day. How may? No idea but in excess of 5 pints easily. He forgets his meds and i have to give them to him. It's a weird life at the moment as it's like watching 'dead man walking'. Horrible. He's very bizarre tonight. Talking the most complete bollocks you've ever heard and he's really getting on my nerves. I'm sitting here thinking "WHAT AM I STILL DOING HERE". Love and loyalty is a pain in the arse don't you agree?
Hope you are all getting through your day and good on you Sandman for being strong. Jacker - it's like looking in a mirror reading your stories. Similarities are very strong but my husband is further along than yours so keep posting if there is anything which you think I could help you with. This forum is fantastic and has helped me more than i can say. Love to all - Jill (nana) xxx
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581715 tn?1225350329
Well I am happy to say that I have been sober for two days already, totally sober, not one beer and it feels good to be almost back up to 100%. Day by day you see your self transforming back to that person you were before the nasty addiction and that is a big incentive to stay sober. To you ladies out there dealing with stubborn husbands wait until  they are fully sober and bring up the fact that you would love to grow older with them and that their drinking is speeding up that process, that instead of drinking they should be cherishing every moment with you, that's how my girl friend got me to stop last time but when I am away from her I am some what weaker, but I will have to be stronger this time and stay clean. Thank you for all the stories shared.
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Avatar universal
My mother was an alcoholic, I say was because she passed away on March 25th 2008 from complications of Liver Disease.

My mother was an everyday drinker for the 10 years prior to her illness, she drank wine.  She started to show signs of minor swelling in her legs (edema) and after I had to convince her, she went to the doctor.  Her doc told her that she had cirrosis of the Liver and Hepatitis C.  She quit drinking on that day!  For the next 3 years that she lived with this disease she went through bouts of Ascites, Edema, and hepatic encephalopathy.  My mother was a very petite woman, and when she could not control her swelling she looked and felt like she was 9 months pregnant.  She would have to get her stomach drained of the fluid and even then she would constantly get asked when she was due.  She lived for almost a year with her stomach like that until she was able to get some control over it.  But just as one symptom subsided another would show up.  It was in the last 6 months of her life that on a routine scan of her liver they found a "mass" on her liver.  It was just befor Christmas that the doctors confirmed that it was Cancer.  Now because I did alot of research on the progression of the disease, I knew that there was a great possibility of cancer with cirrosis and with hepatitis too.  She went to have chemotherapy done on Jan of 2008.  Chemo left her very weak and almost unable  to care for herself, not to mention that she reacted to the meds and had to stay across the state alone for a week.  When she came home it was constant doctors appointments.  Her  hepatic encephalopathy became much worse and it brought her to the hospital on several occasions with ammonia levels off the chart. She lost all her hair as a result of the chemo. It was two weeks prior to her passing that I found her  semi-conscience in her apartment, I knew it was her ammonia levels.  My brother had been to see her early that day and she said that she was not feeling well, but he made sure that she took her meds.  It was 8 at night that I found her, her meds were not working.  While in the hospital we became aware of her kidneys not functioning properly.  Her sodium levels were too high, so she couldn't take her meds to keep the swelling down, and to top it all off she lost all control over her bowels and had to use diapers.  She was also unable to walk, so she couldn't get to the bathroom anyway!  My mother left the hospital on a Friday, and was transferred to a hospice center.  It was Easter Sunday that I walked into her room to see her semi-conscience and gasping for air.  She looked at me and said that she was scared to die...these were her last words.  She died early on Tuesday morning.  My mother was 55 years old.  Her death was not something that was easy, she struggled for 2 days to breath.  The pain that she went through prior to her death was not easy either.

But something good has come from her being an alcoholic, she had three children that she left behind, and not one of them drinks!
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581715 tn?1225350329
Hi guys, I am dealing with the whole trying to quit thing, I am 26 and I don't want the rest of my life to be dictated by a bottle. I have tried quitting before but was not very serious and fell off the wagon hard, I had been sober for a whole month and you do begin to think clearly. I only drink on the weekends but looking towards the weekend simple for a bunch of beers is no way of living. I am away from my family now but I found out great news yesterday, I am heading back home in 4 months and back home I know with my family's support and my non drinking girl friend I can keep it controlled. I am not feeling too good now, yesterday was my first day truly sober in the past 4 days with no alcohol at all and the anxiety and hangover feeling kept me up almost all night I got maybe an hour of sleep but I doubt it. As long as I can get over these 2 days I will feel much better and finally be back on my feet. Thank you for all the support, and lets try to keep helping everyone we can out there, thru wisdom and preview experiences I belive we can achive it.
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535294 tn?1219930112
I totally agree with you, I don't think substituting one for the other is a good idea at all...although at the rate he's going, long-term use won't be an option.

I think he is just really scared of quitting...and truthfully doesn't really want to. I think the offer of a substitute was to placate me and propose a compromise. What I really think would happen is that he'd just be smoking pot while he's drinking.

I don't know....maybe I should just give up and let him live his life as he chooses. We all know you cannot make someone quit drinking, he has to want to and right now he doesn't.

My father was a fire-fighter in Chicago...I remember one time he caught a child playing with fire...and took him to visit a hospital burn unit. Wonder if the same kind of shock therapy will work with my darling Mr. Stubborn?

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