Excessive Alcohol Consumption

[WebRoss]

My husband, 43 years old, has drank his entire life.  However, for the past one year and a half he's been drinking 1/2-gallon of Vodka each & every day - 24/7.   I know he's at the point to where he has to drink all the time in order to survive.
However, who can drink 1/2-gallon of Vodka each & every day 24/7 and live?   He will not seek treatment, he will not see a doctor, etc.  What do I do?  Just watch him kill himself slowly?

[Melli18]

It saddens me to see so many people here who have a husband/partner with an alcohol problem.  When you are in the middle of it yourself you think you are the only one, and other people around you think you are the one with the problem, not the drinker.  I have been married for 25 years and my husband was a drinker when we met and being a big bloke could drink a lot and hold it, never having a hangover in the mornings.  This was usually during the weekends as the weekdays he would be working. All I ever asked when he was drinking was that the children did not see it, as I had had a father who drank and I hated it. This sadly has not happened.  My story is long and I won't bore you all with it, suffice to say that the drinking over the past 18 months or so has escalated. My girls, the elder one who was incredibly close to her father, is not any more and has moved away and my younger daughter barely talks to him and never starts a conversation with him.  Over the years through his drinking there would always be arguments so he was best left alone. This year, the summer especially has been awful. In June this year he had again become quite agressive and pushed me about grabbing my arms and pulling a chair from underneath me. I got the courage to go to the police station and he was arrested, returning home some 8 hours later. As you can imagine was like a bear with a sore head over what i had done, and to this day as not apologised for the way he behaved, instead says that I planned it all!! In the last year his desire for Vodka has increased to the point that he can drink a litre a night, and sometime add wine to that as well.  Financially I am dependent on him and he knows it, but I know this can not continue. Living in a house where there is no communication is terrible. I hate it when my younger daughter is not here or away and I am on my own. I know there must be other women out there in a similar situation and I just need to ask - what do you do? I am at the end of my tether and every way I look there is no get out for me. I try so hard to stay cheerful but this past week has been so difficult. When he is away working the house is quiet and calm, just his presence here changes all that. I sometimes feel I am on a slippery slope and once I start decending down it I won't be able to stop. It doesn't help that I haven't gone out to work in 25 years, and that together with how I feel is such a daunting thing to try and do. I just want to get away and have some peace in my life. I feel sapped of any energy I usually have, I feel alone and sad and know that this state of mind is not going to help me, but I just can't lift myself.

[Cherilynn]

Husband is still drinking nearly the liter a day of vodka..he hasnt lost any weight from last year when the endochrinologist put him on shots for type 2 diabetes.  

He has a job where he travels a lot, usually far like Alaska/Hawaii and all over the country.  

Each day I think its going to be his last.   I cannot move out as I have my own health problems and am dependent on him..otherwise I would leave.    

Im in a sticky situation and Im afraid that one of these days will be his last.  Our neighbor died suddenly of a heart attack in his bathtub, he was only 53 and not overweight at all and didnt smoke or drink.  
I just pray that if some;thing happens, its not at home.  I dont want to see it.

[uberadtx]

You need to get into treatment 10 minutes ago! Its time to call Al-anon.  You need major support right now because its time to make some hard line decisions about your relationship with your husband. He is going to die from his alcoholism.  The BEST case scenario is that he gets arrested or winds up in the hospital for some reason.  His addiction is going to bring YOU places you never thought you would go.  Take a good look at where is his addiction has brought HIM!  This is not easy but you need to choose between life and death today.  Its tough because I am sure your life is all about HIS addiction right now.  I can tell you it doesn't have to be that way. You are the only one who has the ability to take action so do it.  Keep us posted

[LukeL]

My dad just died of cirhossis at the age of 62. I am only 22 and can always remember him drinking heavily. It would nothing for him to drink 1.75 liters of booze, or 20+ beers in a day. (of course this was only on the weekends, during the work week he would still drink about 10 or so drinks) Amazlingly he was able to keep up this pace along with smoking 1-2 packs a day for over 40 years. Despite trying to stop many times and many health scares he never would stop for more than 1 month.  It was when he lost his job and "retired" that he basically killed himself by drinking.

The only way to get him treatment is if poses a direct threat to himself or others or if he is no longer physically able to take care of himself. But by the time you enter this stage it is usually too late to reverse the damage.

The  only advice I can give you is to keep on telling him how much you love him and care about him.

[ibizan]

no dude,can'tforce alcoholics/addicts in2 treatment..they can sign themselves out of unit!Web Ross-alcohol the most legal cheapest socially acceptable drug thre is..thank God no children.......save yourself.....and Walter so sorry ur father an ***.....his karma will come back on him some day..so sad bout ur mom as well.....sober 15 mos b4 she died was a miracle!

[working dog]

thats some story...thanks for sharing it...billy

[walternowotny]

There are(unfortunately) scores of people who understand your situation.My mother who died of  liver failure 6 months ago had binges when she drunk 1 liter of vodka and 2 L of wine/day.Her binges lasted several months, were followed by brief alcohol-free period when she abused benzodiazepines(Diazepam,Rohypnol) to avoid withdrawals.Then she started"controlled"drinking(taking benzos at the same time) followed by another binge.
She was sober 15 months before she died.
My father is  alive and  drinking heavily.When I was a child he abused be physically(once I lost consciousness because of his beating) and emotionally(telling everybody  what kind of  stupid little moron I was...usually in my presence).Now he just asks for money.In his world I graduated from child he abused to an enabler.....
Good luck
Walter

[working dog]

well here you are...i think you got my drift on the other forum...folks here really know this stuff..it's good to see you here...i know my story and a little more thats it....i think you'll probably have to do something drastic soon...ibizan...is there no way to force him into treatment??? anyway webross i hope you get some good advice here ....your doing it right by asking questions...good luck...billy

[WebRoss]

You can read what I typed to Ibizan above.  We have no children by choice and thank God for that choice considering the circumstances.  I guess I'll just watch & wait.   I do stay away from the home as much as possible, and I sleep a lot, for that it is my escape.   Thanks to everyone who understands.   Miserable in Memphis, TN.

[WebRoss]

No drugs, other than alcohol (not that's NOT a drug) - I mean, just no street drugs.  As stated, he has drank most of his life, but the 1.75 liters of Vodka DAILY he has been drinking going on a year and over a year.  I know I can't save him.  It's simply hard hard watching.....................I've tried to get him to seek treatment - no dice.

[walternowotny]

Nobody can drink 1/2 gal.of vodka/day and survive for a long time.If he is not going stop completely(not limit his consumption) he will die.
You need to do what is right for you and your children right now.In my life I've never seen an alcoholic/drug addict who was saved against his/her will.
If all that sounds simplistic it is because certain things in life are exactly like that
Good luck
Walter

[ibizan]

Amazing how much abuse the human body can withstand from alcohol and drugs!how long u been married to him?how many years he b doing this?u cannot force him to seek treatment...and sounds like u been watching him drink self to death for quite awhile..u cannot save him...but u can save urself thru counseling,al-anon.......any children watching him do this?