Feeling the darkness

[narla]

Feeling the darkness
by narla, 6 minutes ago
The darkness is hanging over me,It's like a feeling of doom.I sit here and wonder why do I have to change.Who will I be when I've changed,will I still be me.I feel different already.I feel I'm losing my identity,it may not have been a good identity but it was mine.Now I'm becoming a person I don't know.The alcohol, codeine, and sexual abuse made me who I am, now thats gone who am I.I feel in limbo not knowing whether to go back to what I felt was "safe"or keep moving forward.I'm scared.Talk is easy-the doing feels like It's killing me from the inside.I hope I feel more positive tomorrow.This is the worst I've felt in weeks.Counselling brings up too many emotions and painful memories,I know I have to deal with them,BUT CAN I.The alcohol and codeine was much easier to deal with.  

[rod44]

Hi Narla, you CAN do this, believe in yourself.  

Fear is some thing us addicts face when we try to change our old ways, you now have a choice of who you are going to be….the pathetic looser addict or that shining star that is trying to come to the surface. Stick with it my friend, you have been to hell now your on your way to peace…inner peace. You can do this.
Ray

[narla]

Thank you for your reply,I think I'll try and go to sleep maybe I'll feel better in the morning.It,s 11.15pm here so heres hoping I can sleep.

[rod44]

Ok well the best of luck to you. It 3:30pm here and I will be around for most of the evening if you cant sleep and need some company.

A dear friend is also a survivor of sexual abuse addiction and depressive illness, she fought off her daemons and won, so will you.
Get some sleep but don’t spend to much time in that dark place if you cannot sleep. Get up and do some thing to distract yourself.
Tay

[ibizan]

the only way out of this is through it....if u use u prolong the agony...and those feelings/memories don't disappear...wish i could wave them away for u with my non-xistent fantasy wand:)rod gives good advice!

[dominosarah]

It is time you take the control back Narla and find out what a good person you are.  As a wise man once told me  "Go with a spirit that fears nothing"..........sara