Free from alcohlism.

Well...  I finally did it.  My entire life I've been trying to battle addictions... from age 15, right to my age 24(turning 25 soon, so almost 10 years) the substances I've abused include cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, and even crack cocaine.   You can also include coffee in the list, but coffee isn't really unhealthy for you besides the high amount of pesticides it has.

I feel so much better about myself and my life now that I quit... somehow it was just time.  My 2 best friends who were my drinking friends somehow turned their back on me for a reason that I really don't know, although it's not the greatest feeling to lose 2 great friends of almost 10 years, i realized all we did together was drink.  That was a great help.  I also focused on why alcohol abuse is so bad for me, reasons why I need to quit.

Now for the reasons why I quit drinking...

Excessive drinking greatly inhibits production of ADH, anti-diuretic hormone, which causes the kidneys to reabsorb water.  Because of this, you become dehydrated, lose your salt balance of sodium and potassium, lose your water soluble b-vitamins.  And since you are less hydrated, your blood pressure shoots up, your brain shrinks in size(not very much but it does because of the dehydration), and your skin doesn't look so great.  

Excessive drinking beyond 3-4 drinks, and your body no longer uses alcohol dehydrogenaze to break down ethanol into acetaldyhe(which is also a prime hangover compound).  Instead it starts turning excess alcohol and storing it as fat.  The fat from the ethanol is stored right in the liver... causing the liver to have an appearance like marble cheese, with little fat deposits here and there.  As these fat deposits are broken down, your liver appearance becomes much like swiss cheese, little holes are here and there.  Eventually the holes are filled with scar tissue.  But either way, the more you binge drink in your life, the more the natural architecture of a health liver becomes destroyed...  This reduces it's efficiency so much.  Of course this destruction occurs with binge drinking, if you can have 1 or 2 drinks no damage to the liver occurs.  

Perhaps one hugely negative aspect of alcohol is what happens while I'm drunk.  I'm uninhibited, I make the wrong choices, I become irresponsible with myself.  All of the bad experiences I have had in my life occurred to me while being intoxicated.  Some are pretty bad... but somehow and for some reason, I'm here today without anything tragic happening to me despite being drunk a ridiculous number of times.  

I can't help myself with alcohol, if i have a drink, my body always wants another one, and another one, and another one... i get a great release of dopamine while drinking, and then when that drink is done, I crave another drink.  I can't help myself.  It's strange though... my alcoholism almost completely goes under the radar for pretty much everyone I know being friends and family... I mean, I'm not a violent person, I don't have a criminal record, my driving record is completely clean...  but it's still become the biggest problem in my life.  Maybe no one sees it as a problem for me, but I certainly do.  Then again practically all my old friends, and both my parents are drinkers.

Maybe I grew up I'm not sure... I can say so much of my substance abuse is partly because of learned behaviors in groups of people, and then secondly because of low self-esteem.  But I see myself differently now, I just want to be able to function and be able to think with my mind.  I think of myself as a biological machine now, with drugs and alcohol only causing malfunctions and problems with my functioning.  I'm not happy with my life like this and I know the only way I'll ever be happy is to live totally sober now.

[dominosarah]

I wish you a lifetime of sobriety.......Each new day sober and clean is new beginning....embrace it.             sara

[ibizan]

When i got sober/clean i found out who my real friends really WEREN'T!just partying buddies!they invited me to parties saying u don't hafta drink or use.....they wanted to see me fall back down in their ranks.!One of my very good past partying buddies who still drinks and looks like hell said to me in 1983 after i got out of inpatient...I can't hang with u for u r a reminder of the problem i have and am unwilling to do anything about!:)I once saw a bumper sticker that made me chuckle and it is so true.....Look at recovery as an adventure...not a chore!:)

[sograteful828]

Good for you!!!! what a huge accomplishment.....keep up the good work, how long do you have??? maybe i missed it in your post, i celebrated 2 months yesterday, wow....so wierd to say and read...our stpries are very similar, but then again, most stories on here are, we are all so similar no matter what race, sex, etc....this disease does not discriminate thats for sure......Congrats and surround yourself with good people, it makes a big difference....like they say at my meetings stick with the winners!!!   are you in any type of aftercare???  again, sorry if i missed it my baby is squirming as i am trying to read...LOL

[sang832]

I saw the news a few weeks ago that a man was drinking 50 years and quit 27 years so  far  running marathon since. addicted in marathon is lot better than alcohol, isn't it? Do something you like and get addicted to it!

[ibizan]

i adopted my first greyhound in 1993.....the second came 3 weeks later....i have to limit myself to 2 and i have 4 cats....i LOVE my animals...love these greyhounds.......i am addicted to their breed!love to hang out with  them...my constant companions!love to try to help abandoned animals find  4 ever homes......the greys 2 and any other animal in need!

[PinPinPatrick]

thank you everyone for your feedback.  Really life is meant to be lived sober... I feel like I'm a kid again!  Back when I was a kid, I was happy!  And I didn't need alcohol to be happy.

I like this:

Look at recovery as an adventure...not a chore!:)

I totally love that!

No I'm definitely sticking with my decision to quit drinking, and yes the people that are your drinking friends really do just pull you down with them!  So right.

Nope, no aftercare for me.  I quit on my own terms, it seems like all my new friends I made recently don't even drink anyways, so it just seemed like the right time to quit drinking.  I've been surrounding myself with reasons why I quit and am focusing on them, reading up articles on the internet and stories of peoples addiction to alcohol.

Yes, as time changes on I will definitely look into new things, and find a new addiction, something healthy!  Like a sport, swimming, or just working out.

Thank you all for your feed back, and I wish you all the best on your new adventure to sobriety!

[sograteful828]

Good for you and having such a positive outlook...can i borrow some of that today...LOL   again, there is no perfect way, its what works for you...take care and enjoy your new recovery!!!