Getting depressed

[tonyttll]

Hi, i 've drank on and off for about 7 years heavy. I had 9 months but then relapsed. I have just about 3 months, but i'm getting really depressed from feeling really spacy,dizzy,weak, trouble walking balancing issues. I've had severe anxiety for years, one of the reasons i drank so much. I'm going to see a neurologist, but i'm really self obsessed, and i'm thinking these symptoms are not getting better, and i'm starting to think about drinking again. I kind of have a flaky sponser at the moment. I'm just venting right now, anyone's input would be appreciated.

[Twosandbits]

Hey Tony, how are things? :-)

[Nighthawk61]

Hi Tonyttl, thanks for posting. I've been clean and sober for 13 years after drinking and drugging heavy for 25 years. and it all started with anxiety. I can understand the predicament that you are having with the dual diagnosis and finding the right kind of support that can give you the fundamentals.

Have you thought about going to an alcohol rehab, in house or days only?  You will be sure to have a therapist that can help you build on the fundamentals as they apply to your dual diagnosis, and you can continue on with aftercare for a full year, most often. It would give you a firm foundation, at least. Rehab is nothing to feel anxious about. It's a warm feeling that you get as you start to get close to the patients and therapists. The food is usually really good, and as I stated you could also go during the day only.

Something to think about? If I were you, and I am in this case, lol, I would and did give it a try.

Hugs. Liz

[tonyttll]

Thanks for  writing back. I have been going to AA about once a week. I've found my self to really angry lately, and whenever i go to meetings i feel really spacey, and everyone seems normal, and i compare myself to these people and get really annoyed and depressed. But when i can focus, i do learn things from AA, and the most of the people are really nice and supportive. I wish their were more dual diagnosis meetings around. Unfortunately and fortunately my brain and body can't take anymore alcohol. I do want to get better, it just seems very hard to overcome considering my mental health. I really have no choice though. I spoke to my sponser after a meeting this morning, i think she's ok, i'm still testing her out. But she had good advice, telling me not isolate and to go to more meetings even though it doesn't seem to help at the moment. Will see what happens, but thank you so much for being so supportive. Same here, if you need to talk, or vent. Take care

[Twosandbits]

Hi Tony, it's good that you are seeing a neurologist and then hopefully you will find out if your symptoms are anxiety related or due to something eles. Anxiety is so frustrating and depressing I know! I know a lot about anxiety also and even with my wealth of knowledge on the subject when it actually hits me my thinking goes to pot and I can convince myself of anything!

Do you go to AA? you mentioned you had kind of a lame sponsor. I have been to AA a few times but I find my local drug and alcohol centre more helpful (only my opinion though) I don't work at the moment so I try and attend group meetings as much a possible, sometimes every day if I need to. I also use other forums like SMART Recovery UK, Wired In (Wired Inititive) and a Face Book forum Mutual Aid for Recovery. I try lots and lots of different approaches to maintaining my sobriety as it is the most important thing in the world. I was just wondering if you are involved with any drug and alcohol services?

I really hope you can find a way through your difficult time without drinking, if that's what you want. Keep posting and I will respond ASAP. Take care :-)

[tonyttll]

Hi, thank you for responding with great advice. I've had anxiety for 15 years, currently on ssi because of it. I  see a therapist for it. I know a lot about anxiety, and give a lot of advice to people struggling with it. I've experienced almost every symptoms you can with this problem, but it seems like their is alot more to come. For about 7-9 years my ability to think,find words, etc.... is horrible. I've been told its anxiety, but i'm really experiencing some very uncomfortable neurological symptoms, and i'm concerned,but not freaking out. But i'm depressed by it, plus having anxiety you know how we can have catastophic thinking. And the depression is contributing to my thoughts of drinking. I'm trying to better my life, and stop drinking, and work on my anxiety so maybe i can work some day, and i'm hit with this sh!!t. WTF. Buts its helpful to hear from someone that i can relate to. Thanks again.