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1667237 tn?1464304231
Have I got a problem with alcohol? If yes, how to quit?
      Hi. Firstly, I apologize about the grammar and wrong language expressions. English is not my maternal language.This post is really long, so if you don´t like reading, just don`t torture yourself. It`s not worth of it.
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Well, I think I have got a few problems with alcohol. I´m 17, and I`m not sure is this just some teenage gabing. I`d believed that it is. For a long time. I thought it takes more time for something serious like this. I want to know the main difference between alcohol abuse and psychological addiction.

         To start with, I started to drink at the age of 13 after I´d abandoned all of my friends because of hypocrisy and become depressed. And from the beginning I drank every glass in one gulp until I started to throw up and passed out and I was a burden to all of my new friends who drank normally. First it was just at Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings.

         How time passed by, the problems with my friends were getting worse because I started to drink four-five times a week, no matter when(in the morning, afternoon or evening)and every evening during the holiday. And I was waiting for them to stop being my friends. When that happened, I just kept drinking.
At the age of 15, I made new friends, who drank as much as I did, or even more, but they drank slowly, so I was the only one who was ending up throwing up. Again.
          At that stage, my parents were starting to noticing, so I was grounded very often and I drank almost every day, even in school where I didn`t have any friends except two older ones who also drink really often.
Soon after, I`ve ruined my relationships with friends who I were going out with, and made knew one. (And I haven`t lost him. Yet, but something happened between us last weekend when we were drunk so...)
        
         Soon after, when I was drunk, I stabbed some table in school with knife, had problems because of my self-destructive way of writing, and I had to talk to pedagogue, where I end up having nervous breakdown. And sometimes I was asked to leave from bars due to my excessive drinking and passing out. I don`t throw up anymore.
           I`ve recovered from that incidents by drinking, but problems with my parents and my false promises about not drinking were getting more often, so I decided to stop drinking. And it lasted for about 4 months. And then, when I was 16, my dog died. He was the most important person in my life. I realize how stupid that must sound, but I`m not good with people so it`s true. And from then, during the last 11 months, I`ve been drinking about five times a week and almost every time i drink until I pass out or black out.

          When I`ve got no alcohol at the evening and I’ve got a need to drink, I steal a little bit from my parent`s basement. Once, when I`ve already been drinking and have an urge for more, my father nearly caught me in the middle of the night with Jegermeister in my hand. So I had to hide myself and come for that alcohol later. These 10 minutes were so long and boring for me. I just wanted him to go back to sleep because I wanted to drink so badly.

           Now the problems with my parents are really, really big, they are worried, they cannot sleep, but I am never grounded. They realized it does not work. And even when I really want to stop drinking during the weekend, because they think I drink just then, I end up drunk. I don`t even know how. At one moment I`m under control, and in the other one I pass out. My blackouts are now getting really often, they are like moon walking.

            I drink two or three times a week since I almost overdosed myself  a month ago and my parents had to pressure my stomach to make me throw up what I drank because I was really pale and wasn`t moving at all. I just couldn’t.

             Now I have got some friends and, when I met them for the first time, I forced them to except me for who I am even though some of them drink really rarely.
          And my grades in high school are between B and A. I haven`t ruined that, but I don`t really care about it. It is just something for my parents. I don`t even care about my future.

           And the problem is I don`t know how to live or what to do in life without alcohol. I feel so bad because of my family, because of graffiti I`ve made when I was drunk, and especially about this weekend when I almost had sex with my very best friend and I feel so guilty about that because I can`t face it and I think I`ve messed up my relationship with him too. I can`t express my emotions. I just know how to run away from them. And I don`t know what to do. Every year is worse and worse.  
            And one part of me doesn`t even want to stop. One part of me just wants to ruin me, my every cell, and my every organ.

            And even if I stop drinking, everyone, old as me, drinks during the weekends, so I`ll be bored even if I start going out with them or anybody else. Is there any way to control my drinking, to stop myself before I pass out? I tried to do it but it worked only when I had something to smoke and had no more money for alcohol. I even tried not to drink during the week, but I`m not completely successful. It`s not so easy.
             And even if I stop drinking, I have got so bad reputation and I cannot just try to communicate with these judgmental people. I live in a small town (population is about 15 000) and almost everybody who are going out or in my school knows about my drinking and using some drugs, because I do not hide it. I have always wanted to be accepted or not accepted on the base who I really am.

             I`ve recently realized that I drink differently of all of people I know. I started to think about this whole alcohol situation and about my behavior for the first time.
My question is: „Am I abusing alcohol or is it something bigger? “. I hope not.
Some facts (I don`t know are they all consequences of alcohol)
1.I`m not sure about the tolerance
- When I started: 4 SDs (standard drinks) in 1 hour made me drunk
- Now: 6,5 SDs in 15 minutes, pause of 1hour, 3,5 SDs, plus marijuana and I`m on the ground
2.I don`t feel drunk and in other moment I realize I am because I cannot walk
3.I drink in different situation (to decrease pain or guilt, to escape or celebrate, because I`m bored, when I`m in the bath)and company(with friends, and more often alone)
I`m trying not to drink, and when I`m successful I can`t sleep, and I noticed I can`t run more than a minute because my heart starts to beat really fast, I feel it in my head. Oh, yeah, and my blood pressure is sometimes too high.
I would really appreciate an objective opinion because no one I know is able to do that.

Btw: My aunt was an alcoholic. She had delirium tremens, and all of that, and a lot of people in my family were, like my father, or are having some periods of drinking. Some of them(younger ones) drink a 3-4 times a month until they get really drunk.
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Avatar universal
rod-thank u dear......i loved this tale!and more than0,,,,ur emotions/feelings are so troubled/conflicted...yes this is a hard world to live in at times...u said u had such good parents......why so much anger at yourself?and life?if ur life ended...ur pain would be gone yes....but those around u would never get over u leaving it.Lilly and the cat would grieve as well....i have seen these things come true!
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1667237 tn?1464304231
NIce story... Sorry, I`m enjoying the day,I`ve been not drinkig, but doing M... So I don`t know what to say... I`m really great right now...
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1667237 tn?1464304231
I know that. I know all the facts, but I`m not good at practice... I don`t know why I have so much anger... yeah, my family would suffer, so I´m never going to kill myself. That`s sure. But, if I had to choose in which way I preferred to die, it would be by overdosing with anything psychoactive. You`re dying when you are doing something you really enjoy...
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999891 tn?1407279676
I am sorry that you are in this place moreO, you are hurting yourself, you are hurting others around you and it will end in sadness. It dose not need to be this way, if only you could open your mind, look at what you have, look at the positive things in your life.
I am high today, high on life. I dont need to use chemicals to get that high it comes with no side effects, no drama and costs nothing, I am greatful for everything I have today, self respect,  dignity & peace of mind. I have a family who care. These are the important things in my life. It is not perfect but a bad day today is better than my best day when I was drinking.

ibizan I love that story, I first came across it when in rehab :)
I crawled out of the bottle and I am glad I did. It's lure can be strong at times but it is a false promise and I learned that lesson the hard way.
Alcohol cunning, baffling & powerful.
  
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i'm glad i never overdosed,glad i never killed anyone as a result of my drunk/drugged driving,glad i appreciate the small things in life...no savor...the cardinals singing,the pilated woodpeckers pecking....my cats got in2 a piece of red velvet cake last nite i accidentally left out...chewed thru the box...ate half......rich frosting red cake......was fun cleaning up the litter box!i laughed and this will be a fun story to tell for many animal lovers..... and more than0...sure u got that M buzz goin now......but it will wear off..and u will want to go back up...then u come down....and then u wanna go back up....a vicious merry-go-round!ah the folly and foolishness of youth....i was once there myself and glad i survived it!
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1667237 tn?1464304231
To: rod44
Good for you. I hope I`ll be that way someday.  

To: ibizan
I know it will wear off, but I don`t care. I have some more time untill that...
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Never mind. I`m not in the mood for complicating anymore. I won`t drink and that`s it.
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999891 tn?1407279676
It is in your hands my friend but you need to get it, it will not come to you, you got to seek it out, got to take control. No one can do it for you. You must make the first move.
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1667237 tn?1464304231
OK, i know
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1667237 tn?1464304231
I look at the positive things, and I know how many things I`ve got. I´ve got perfect family, a puppy, nice cat, guitar paper and a pencil, a house, stabile home, water, food, stabile family finances, an opportunity to do something in my life, opportunity to go to school, good people around me...ect...  But that only makes me feel guilty because I am ungrateful b**ch and I don`t appreciate it enough... It doesn`t make me happy... I`m just stupid and all.

And I really hate bothering you, because i`m just wasting your time while I`m moody and I doubt in everything this whole time. I really do know almost all of the facts, but it`s so hard to do something. I don`t even know how to be objective about all alcohol situation...

Why did you said I`ve got these alcoholism symptoms? I want to know where I`m standing if it`s not a problem for you…

To: ibizan
What food do you like the best from Croatian/Slovenian kitchen?
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OVI's here in the USA vary w/fines suspended drivers license and completion of a education program for alochol/drugs plus court probation.the more offenses one gets within a certain time frame the penalties get stiffer.Sure wish u'd work on that self esteem but again seems like u've got ur mind made up that ur a piece of drek!sigh!fav foods?chicken paprikash,patica,pierogies,stuffed cabbage rolls 2 name a few!what does ur mom cook?
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999891 tn?1407279676
You are here because you think you have a problem, this is usualy an indecater that you have some problem, enough to question your drinking.You are frequently intoxicated, you black-out when drinking, you are feeling guilty about your drinking. You drink fast (in your own words "every glass in one gulp") You are not willing to tale responsibility.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease, the symptoms and effects of drinking become increasingly more severe over time.
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1667237 tn?1464304231
You are right about everything.

It all depends on me so I`ll try not to screwed up everything this time. I haven`t been drinking yesterday. And I was tired and exhausted of the effort I have to make to succeed so I went home really fast. It was too risky...  It will be really hard to do all this, I feel like someone`s torturing me, but I`ll do it. After yesterday, I admit I have got a problem with alcohol.

Thank you for talking to me and trying. I am really complicated, but I have to accept I will not drink because of these people around me. I will try to find something in my life that`s  not alcohol. If that`s gonna make me miserable(I hope not), never mind. It`s not like I`m truly happy now.

So, thank you for your time. This was actually my mind battle and thank you for being here. I wouldn`t survive this first week without you...  I know I`m really really complicated, so I know this couldn`t be easy for you... Thank you on explaining me, talking to me, and everything...

To: ibizan
I love eating pierogies too, but what`s patica? My mom cooks so much different food and I don`t even know which are traditionally Croatian... For example, she cooks pieces of meat with potato and sauerkraut... I love the way we use spices...
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oh no my dear u r not complicated.....u complicate everything:)AA has saying a simple program for ppl who complicate it!We spent too much time rationalizing our behaviors to drink/drug and could've spent that time recovering but that is why they call it hindsight!:)Patica is a holiday bread....a dough that is worked for 10-12 hours...spread on a floured board and filled w/ground walnuts,raisins,honey and a little rum......rolled up...put in loaf pan and top split and brushed w/melted butter!UMMMMMM! goes right to ur butt w/every delicious bite!then we used to have zelodec....a huge sausage like thing that the butcher would make up....weighed 10 lbs.filled w/all kinds of ground up things from a pig and cow!and loaded w/garlic and coarse ground black pepper!my dad would make pickled pigs feet called jotsa?stunk bad when he was cooking it up but pour in pan and chill and i was the lonly kid who would eat it w/him!does ur family celebrate easter?any special foods?give Lilly and the cat some petting and loving words from me!:)
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1667237 tn?1464304231
OK, thanks...
So, you know better about Croatian kitchen then I do...
Yeah, my family celebrates. Even though I don`t believe in anything, I help my family to keep their tradition. For easter we eat bread, ham and boiled eggs, and for lunch pig, salat,,, nothing special...
What about you? Do you celebrate?
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Easter was a big deal when i was growing up.....we went to church...not my choice but my parents had us go...we got a new dress shoes,my mom made the slovenian holiday foods her granma made...we boiled eggs and dyed them and had easter baskets.....i had a reddish colored rabbit as a pet and he'd sit in the middle of the easter basket then get tired of human silliness and hop out!Then as the years went by and my siblings got their own families i'd go take my dogs and visit my mom and dad who lived out in the country and we'd fix a traditional meal,watch old movies nap awake and have dessert and coffee!How i miss that...i'm lucky i had those days w/my parents for it is gone now.I was supposed to go see my mom today and she is in the ugly part of Lewy Body Dementia....nasty,cussing screaming....my real mom left us a long time ago and what is left is this damn disease and the havoc its wreaked.She told my brother to tell me not to come,she wanted no visitors.......perhaps she misses those good times past and doesn't want to recall them anymore.I don't know!so i am here today its rainy cool and i want to get outside between the raindrops and plant some pink and orange tulips and a gorgeous fuschia colored hyacinth whose fragrance is divine!My neighbor lady brought me over a big plate of ham,gravy.sweet potatoes and rice.So nice of her!Are ur grandparents living?if so is their health good?
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1667237 tn?1464304231
Maybe your mother just doesn`t want you to come because she wants you to remember Easter like it was before. Who knows? But she loves you, so her intentions must be good. I hope she will be better soon... I guess you miss her.

My grandma died from a heart attack when I was five, her husband had left her and my father and went to Florida with his new wife when my father was young. I don`t know if he is alive, I saw him once, when I was 7.

My other grandma died about a year ago. She was addicted to painkillers, and her heart was weak, she refused to go to the doctor, and died from a heart attack. And she was great. She even found my weed once. She was support to everyone.
And my grandpa... he`s alive, but he is depressive and lazy as I am. I think he is not ok. He tried to kiss me recently, so I yelled at him politly. I haven`t told this to my parents... I don`t know if he remembers that, or what was it at all. He misses grandma, I guess...    

And I didn`t ask: How old are your dogs? What are their names?
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i never looked at it like that b4......i know my mom loves me and us...i am savoring those memories today!ah family history it can be a trip at times!Keota my male greyhound is a black brindle w/white chest and toes, age 5...Scarlet my female is a BIG red fawn age 6...and 3 cats.....Sedwick age 5 BIG white cat w/orange spots...Guillian age 7 little smokey grey striped and Moe age 5 LONG haired diluted tortoiseshell w.6 toes!
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1667237 tn?1464304231
You have got a lot of animals to take care of then... So, how come are they all different age? Did u find them or buy them?  
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1032715 tn?1315987834
I have just sat down and read every post,WOW,I feel like I'm reading about myself.
It is great that you have found this forum,we are hear to listen and help as much as we can.

My name is Denise,I'm 49.I did not want to stop drinking but when I found out I had liver damage I didn't have that choice anymore,I had just become a grandma and wanted to see my grandchildren grow up,that was 602 days ago,I could not have managed this without the help of a counsellor,and the friends I have made here at Medhelp.

I, like you started drinking at a young age,14,and I had a constant battle going on in my head,I knew the drinking wasn't good for my health,but I'd convince myself I didn't have a problem.this battle carried on until I was 47,I stopped 3 times,through my 2 pregnancies and after I had a brain haemorrage,but as soon as I could I'd start drinking again.

It took the help of other alcoholics who truly understood what was going on in my head to help me put a stop to the roller coaster of alcoholism.

It's great to see you here at a young age already questioning your choices,
Keep talking to the people who understand where you are coming from.

Stay Strong  Denise
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1667237 tn?1464304231
Thank you for being supportive... But I`m questioning myself only because I want to be aware of where I`m standing. I want to know and be sure.

At least, you stopped when you were pregnant. For me, alcohol is the reason I don`t want to be pregnant at all. But I can stop drinking so I will. For now(I hope that`s some longer period of time)... I just want to know where I`m going. And at some point, if I accidentally end up alone and miserable, if I lose my family somehow or anyway, I can go back to drinking and destroy myself... So on some twisted way, I`m glad because I won`t have to start drinking from the beginning...

The fact you succeed to stop is really impressive. It must have taken a lot of effort. You can finally enjoy the life now. I guess you wanted to do so...  Stay strong too. You have got a really important reason for that...
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all of my animals are cast offs...the cats were abandoned found in bad shape and put in shelter so i adopted...and the greyhounds were done/wtheir racing careers and were also put up for adoption.Narla my friend-so glad u jumped in here!
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1667237 tn?1464304231
You saved them then... My Lily was found in the street. If no one had adopted her, she would have been put to sleep.
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So u found Lily?did u go to a shelter and take her home?I have a special place in my heart for dogs...for all living creatures actually....when i was a kid i got picked on a lot by stupid girls calling me weird and different....and very few would play w/me.some made the big mistake of trying to bully me and i fought back! So i noticed there were dogs in my neighborhood alone in pens....and i knocked on my neighbors doors and asked if they wanted their dogs groomed and walked!hence it began!i was particularly proud of Ginger....a shepherd collie mix who was adopted from a shelter......cowered a lot and was abused......i worked w/her a lot an d  was the first person she allowed to brush her!!!!We have these BIG gorgeous fox squirrels in our neighborhood.they must weigh 8 pounds!ppl hit them in the street and leave them for dead.I go w/a plastic bag and gently scoop them up and bury them.Such heartlessness in my opinion......but i know many don't feel the way I do about animals.There have been many difficult moments in my life and the animals have been there to comfort me when ppl wouldn't!And thru the greyhound rescue and cat shelters i have met many wonderful ppl who feel the same way i do about animals!
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1032715 tn?1315987834
I haven't been on for a few days,still suffering with the stupid sciatica,

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495284 tn?1333897642
I think many of us in recovery have animals.  Seems to be a common trait.  My beagle(aka the weagle!) was the light of my life.  She passed on to the Rainbow Bridge the 14th of Jan.  She had cancer.  I miss her so much.  I have a 10 yr old tom cat, Snickers, who i inherited from my dad when he passed away from brain cancer.  He is my boy and has the coolest attitude!!   He is sleeping upside down next to me on the couch!!  I went on the Humane Society page tonight and there are 354 beagles needing adoption.....I think i will take them all!!!
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1667237 tn?1464304231
Actully, Lily was found by a woman, who tried to find her an owner, before she put her to sleep.
I really appriciate animals, more then people who I generaly find cruel (except some of them). Recently, I˙ve been folowed by two dogs. I coudn`t have brought them home because they were female and my Lily is a really playfull and scary...

I hate when people torture animals, they sholuld be tortured, not animals. I think that if someone hurt my animal, I would have literally killed them . It just makes me so angry...

Animals are the best creatures of these planet. You can trust them more then people, they are always there and willing to spend time with us. they just want to have someone who loves them and spend time with them. Nothing more... Animals are so simple and nice.  
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495284 tn?1333897642
They give us unconditional love~~
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1667237 tn?1464304231
Actually, Lily was found by a woman, who tried to find her an owner, before she put her to sleep.

I really appreciate animals, more then people who I generally find cruel (except some of them). Recently, I’ve been followed by two dogs. I couldn’t have brought them home because they were female and my Lily is a really playful and scary...

I hate when people torture animals, they should be tortured, not animals. I think that if someone hurt my animal, I would have literally killed them . It just makes me so angry...

Animals are the best creatures of these planet. You can trust them more then people, they are always there and willing to spend time with us. they just want to have someone who loves them and spend time with them. Nothing more... Animals are so simple and nice.  
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1667237 tn?1464304231
Yeah... I agree...
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1667237 tn?1464304231
I`ve read on your profile you were addicted to opiates. What kind of?
They depress nervous system and slow down transferring neurotransmitters and in that way they make the pain go away. Does it mean, that now, when you`ve got sciatica, painkillers work poorly? Are they powerless? All of them? Or just opiates, that you cannot take, would be useless? Does your addiction mean you can`t drink e.g. Caffetine because it has got codeine in it?
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495284 tn?1333897642
Right now Narla's husband is in control of the pills for her.  That is something we as addicts have to have in place if we need them as we cant control our intake.  After we have been off opiates for a long period they do work for pain.  Our tolerance hit quite high levels and we used alot of pills a day and for me i was just chasing the high.  Many of us found once we stopped using the pain meds our pain actuallly got better.

Do you take any opiates?
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1667237 tn?1464304231
No, I don`t... I`ve tried Subutex once, and methadone about 10 times...maybe 15... Every time I took 3-5 pills. It was ok when I was mixing it to alcohol, although I know that that can lead to death because of depression of breathing... And every day after I used them, I was throwing up and all that stuff... Once, I even came to school in that shape...  But my friend, who was giving it to me, died few weeks ago...

Have you been taken pills or you injected it (spoon thing and all of that)?
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Sarah- i can't wait for the day when another weagle aka beagle hits the jackpot and winds up in ur home! morethan0-i say that my animals are my reward when i come from work....i work w/humans so i can come home 2 the animals!So much peace and serenity in their company!
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1667237 tn?1464304231
Yeah... Sometimes I can`t stand being with people, but animals are always welcome... And where and what do you work? In private company? Have you got a flexible working time? Good payment? Is it fun or boring?
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1032715 tn?1315987834
I have to get my husband to take control of the opiates,otherwise I know I would abuse them again,I had a 3 day relapse with them about a month ago,I didn't even want to come here and admit what I'd done,but saying nothing can say so much,because I hadn't been on(which is unusual for me)Sara and ibizan seemed to work out something was wrong.
I was here reading but not posting,so when they asked me if everything was ok,I had to be honest,and I told them what I'd done,they helped get me back on track again.

This is why this forum is so important.
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1032715 tn?1315987834
It's been 4 years now since our beloved family member crossed the rainbow bridge,we got her when she was 6 weeks old and she lived 17 years,so she was definitely a member of our family,the day we had to end her suffering was the most horrendous day,me my daughter and my husband all went to the vet and we all cradled her as she went to sleep,
We had her cremated and her ashes are in a pewter urn,we also had a beautiful photo of her and I even had casts of her paw prints done in plaster of Paris,they even cut a small piece of her fur for us to keep.
She was a Tibetan Spaniel,her name was Ming,We chose not to put her in shows even though she was bred from showdogs,We decided she should have a mind and will of her own.
We couldn't bear to get another dog after she went,but we do love animals,so we ended up with 2 cats,and they are just as much part of our family as Ming was
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1667237 tn?1464304231
Yeah... It`s not easy.

I`m not even addicted for real, and this Saturday was the hardest night ever... Almost all the time, I couldn`t concentrate at the talking part, I was nervous, frustrated and angry and all the time I was thinking about the bottle of wine that was standing on the floor and nervously walking in the circle. I couldn`t take it anymore, so, while my friends were drinking, I had to walk alone few times during the evening... It was so hard. Like some unbearably strong, and at the same time forbidden need.

I can only imagine how hard abstinence must be for you... Opiates and all these years of using them and alcohol...  The important thing is you didn`t give up when you lost control for three days. And that must have been really hard… I suppose you must be really strong emotionally and physically…
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1032715 tn?1315987834
I get stronger every day,but it really is hard and it is something you have to work at,I just look at my grandchildren and tell myself that's the reason I want to stay sober.
I also have a brother-in-law who is very sick at the moment in hospital,dying as a result of alcohol and drug abuse,He has emphasyma and cirrhosis,and it is slowly killing him,
He is only 41.
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1667237 tn?1464304231
I know the feeling. Until we buried him, I spent the whole day crying and cuddling Barney. It was the most painful thing for me. I couldn`t imagine having a new dog, but we decided to have one because of my older sister. I wasn’t ready. I couldn`t give her (female dog Lilly) all my love. I was thinking about Barney and just couldn`t. She`s 10 months old, and I accepted her before maybe 3-4 months... But now we play with each other and she has become really important to me...
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Because of your brother-in-law, you are really needed sober and clean. I think if you started to drink again too, you would really hurt your family... Two problematic persons would be too much...
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its like this....when one animal goes to the Rainbow Bridge..google this if u haven't seen it......there is another who needs ur love!i do believe they want it that way!my dayjob?i work in a outpatient alcohol/drug counseling center!boring?sometimes it is when i watch ppl destroy themselves and their families with their addictions and refuse to get better...i am nothing more than a guide/mentor.I cannot do for one what they refuse to do for themselves.fun?when i see ppl want to recover and take responsibility for themselves it is....and watch them grow and change oh yes!i have a Adult Recovery Group on thursday that is the joy of my week...i meet some very cool nice ppl 2!pay?not the best but i'm glad to have a job w/all the job losses in the USA these past few years.Flexible hours?not really but i've been her for 25 years and have time built up for sick leave and take vacation when can.....biggest problem is very little vacation for how long i've been here.we are a public state funded agency.
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1667237 tn?1464304231
I guess it must be tiring sometimes, but it sounds interesting... And it`s great for ppl to have you `coz you know what you are talking about from your personal experience.

People lose jobs in Croatia too. I really can wait to see this government falls, if it happens. But it doesn`t have any sense, because new selfish people will appear on their places. Politic is a *****... And nowadays is really stupid to try because, at least here, big number of people go to college and end up unemployed.
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1667237 tn?1464304231
Why is the word b*tch deleted? I mean like this: " ***** "
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1667237 tn?1464304231
Is cocaine physically addictive? I really love to explore everything about drugs. And some say it is and some say it isn`t. Is speed physically addictive? My ex friend said he had withdrawal symptoms, but I never had them... But that`s probably because speed is really diluted in my town. But from Zagreb it`s really awesome... But even then I didn`t have physical withdrawal
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495284 tn?1333897642
OMG.......How did i forget about Calamity(Cali).  I feel so bad right now for forgetting her.  She has brought such joy to my life.  The house is so alive with her.  She is a  year and a half old already.  Oh man, i feel terrible for forgetting her.  

Cocaine is mentally addictive and very dangerous.  It plays he!! on your nose and mind.  It is also very deadly.  Sub and Methadone are very dangerous also. Mixing other meds and alcohol has proven deadly to many.  

I will be 3 yrs clean off drugs here shortly. I quit drinking years ago, coming up on 9 yrs.  It is a dead end road with drugs and alcohol.  Using was only a symptom of what was going on with me and recovery care has helped me face my demons, deal with them and put them to rest.  How did your friend die?
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medhelp will delete any type of swear word!:)YES both cocaine and speed r physically addictive......u can google the withdrawal symptoms for both...it is most unpleasant!and that i have seen firsthand here!
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1667237 tn?1464304231
Thanks for additional information... I explored a lot on Croatian sites, but on English not so much... I recently had a presentation (90 slides) on the theme of drugs in school. Strict professor was impressed and exhausted of the quantity of information. I find drugs really interesting so...

I think I`ve already wrote about my friend, but never mind. He was drunk in some private building. Police came because he was drinking there and told him he should leave. So he wanted to go out, and accidently, he fell down in the hole (from fifth floor) where should have been a lift, but it wasn`t because the building wasn`t finished. So, he was in a coma for about a week and a half. Then he died. He was 27. He was always one of rare reliable people who do or better say-did drugs...
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1667237 tn?1464304231
OK, I googled this symptoms. I had them, just haven`t thought they r physical...
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insomnia,irritability and mood swings r considered physical signs of withdrawal along w/cravings which one who becomes a regular user of these 2 will soon find out when they stop using them!
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1667237 tn?1464304231
i`ve had insomnia ,irritability, depressiom and mood swing...

Today I went out. Now I`m average drunk. Today, my parents were drinking. I found different sort of alcohol on the table... I didn˛t even think about it, I just drank. Then I went out... I`ve drunk 1L of beer and was on some weed... I˙ve ruined everything. my parents tought I drank one glass of wine. I`m OK; acctualy  perfect, but I have got this feling... I feel guilty... And stupid... I don`t know what to do... F*ck... I can`t... I want to, but I can `t...
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gonna start a second thread this is getting too long!
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