Help Staying Sober with spouse home

[Lar16]

My husband has been on vacation for a week.  Saturday night, after a stressful day in which I thought we were going to lose our dog to illness, I got very drunk, blacked out, not sure what I did.  And I am tired of it.  I felt like hell all day Sunday, had to drink a couple of beers just to hold my head up.  I only drink beer typically, but can exceed 6-8 pints in a night.  I am 30 pounds overweight; I am tired; I have health issues.  I don't want to drink anymore.  But I've been married to an equally heavy drinker, a little more so at times, for 22 years now.  And he is coming home tonight and will want a beer and another and another.  It's part of our relationship.  We sit together at night and drink and chat or watch a show together.  And it's fun, most of the time; yet, we each cross the line more often than we should.  I haven't had a drink since Sunday morning and I don't want to.  I haven't had any withdrawal symptoms and I don't feel that much better yet but my face is less puffy in the mornings and I don't immediately reach for tylenol first thing.

How can I continue my sobriety with a drinking husband at home who will want me to join him?  I need help and support.  I need to know what to say to him and how to keep my marriage together through sobriety.  We have three children at home till and a farm and business to run.

Can anyone offer me advice?

[boogieman]

hi there. you're in a tough spot, but you have recognized there is a problem and what's more important, you want to change. as far as tonight, you can sit down with your husband and explain what you want to do. bear in mind that it is not likely he will want to stop as well, at least not right now, so you will have to accept that. this is a big step in your life, and it will take a lot, but it really comes down to making a decision every day, or more often if needed to just not pick up a drink. doing this alone is difficult at best, and i highly recommend checking out aa for a support system. the fact is that people with chemical dependency of any kind who try to stay sober alone are almost guaranteed to fail. not that it isn't possible, just incredibly difficult. i tried for many years to do this on my own and i failed again and again. it makes a huge difference. for tonight, make sure you have plenty of non-alcoholic beverages to drink, and the use of sweets like chocolate can help as well. do things a little different, break your routine. go for a walk, look at the stars, say a prayer, go to bed early, cook a meal, call an old friend----do something different, it will help. there are some excellent websites available as well where you can listen to other alcoholics talk about their experiences, and this can be invaluable. i'll send you a couple of links. keep us posted and take care,  gm

[Ella789]

Have you tried Naltrexone?  It is suposed to help with the cravings  there are other meds that can help with it too.

If all else fails, make a picture of tea and pop some popcorn and hang out with him with your "drink".

Ella