Help please!!

Question

I need help I know it. I am an ex heroin addict of three years, I have the last two years decided that I could still drink in part because of my husbands transgression. ok he kissed another girl after he got out of jail for a year for hittting a man on the side of the road while on coke and heroin. after the kiss the only thing that brought us back together was alcohol, we started out only drinking 2-3 beers 2-3 nights a week it has escaladed to pretty much every night of drinking where my husband drinks untill pass out and i drink untill comfortable 4 beers on weekday 6 to whaterver on weekends. we have a 2 year old and the guilt kills me every day. I feel like I really make an effort only drinking 4 days a week (I know sad) he will commit to just one day and will never follow through I am ready to just tell my family just what is going on  (they will be super mad considering they paid 30 thousand dollars for my heroin addiction I just don't think at this point we can get better together unless we lose our 2 year old first to wake us up don't want it to come to that help should I leave I so confused and guilty.

ibizan · Answer

thank you for your honesty u taking responsibility for ur behavior and i can feel ur pain/shame as i read ur words....it takes something like this to wake one up..and thank God neither u or ur child or anyone else was harmed!u r in my prayers...keep up the good recovery work!:)

sograteful828 · Answer

had more to add...that is when it hit me...i needed help, my baby deserves everything Rod said above. i have 40 days sober and am happy to have a home where alcohol and drugs WILL NOT BE THE NORM, like it was for me and my husband.   Good luck to you i wish you the best, i hope you find the answers and help you are looking for, keep reaching out

sograteful828 · Answer

I would have to agree, i just came from court facing misdimeanor child endangerment charges and it was not fun. I had a pill in my possesion, prescribed to me, but not in its proper container while at the same time my husband commited a battery against a male friend...this is all alcohol induced from me lying, sneaking, etc. but how this pertains to this post is what ibizan and Rod are saying, if your child is sick and you are using, can you imagine?? i wasnt even under the influence and i had charges brought against me, sure they will probably be dropped, but they are trying to make a point, the children come first. the next day, i read this paper saying i endangered my child, ill tell you what, it broke my heart so bad that i CHOSE to run to the liquor store, got drunk, slit my wrist and ended up inpatient.....It can happen that fast when you have kids and are playing with fire.....

rod44 · Answer

hi
Your Childs welfare MUST come first at all costs….that child deserves to live in a home that is safe, loving and drink/drug free.…. that is the bottom line, if you are concerned then you have some hard decisions to make and need to make them soon before things are taken out of your hands and they are made for you. You cannot change your husband but you can get help for your self. 
ray

ibizan · Answer

my memory is going here....there was a lady who would post here 2 years ago...she was a stay at home mom who drank over a fifth of vodka a day and cared for two children under the age of 5.....one with ADHD and the other i recall with not yet diagnosed slight case of autism.She would get very mad at me for i honed in on the above mentioned...she did go to treatment...we used to talk back n'forth....and then she stopped posting and would not answer my notes asking her how she was.I pray she is still sober....but i fear not.....being suprised is nice..but i feared for her safety and those of her kids driving them around drunk and in the home that intoxed. with all that could go on and how young they are and what a handful they were....hope she is reading this someday and doing well!I send her good recovery thoughts!and sober driving!:)the statistics on women getting OVI's is greatly increasing...and they have kids in the car!

ibizan · Answer

here is a sobering thought...and i have seen this happen..picture this....a woman is home drinking....gets to be a lot...maybe her hub is there and he is drinking too....their child becomes ill and mom who is drunk or dad or both take child to ER...there is a policeman there who sees woman drunk.....and by law both doctor and policeman have to call Childrens Services at least they do so in Ohio...and child is removed from their custody.If these words which i have witnessed will  stop someone from driving drunk and jeopardizing themself or a child...that is a good thing!much food for thought here...i think!

ibizan · Answer

I'm not being judgmental dear just realistic!my dayjob is substance abuse counselor for past 24 years.I see the devastating effects of this on children...my adult clients kids who were 2 and 3 in 1985 are now coming thru here with their own addictions.I say this to her  with a firm love to hopefully get her to wake up and put first things first!

PixieNYC · Answer

Ibizan, she already knows this. Support is important, not judgemantal stuff. This person needs proper comfort and no cliches. So. magstra, are you going off of an alcohol addiction by drinking less and less? If that is the case, I will tell you as a friend that it can work, but most of the time you'll need medical supervision.

I understand about your confusion and your guilt, I totally do, but you need to want to do this for yourself. And, hear me out here, girlie, that is THE hardest thing ever to do, because beig addicts we so gegrade and hate ourselves.

I can't do anything for you right now except for saying, YOU being here is a start AND you help me and lots of other people by doing this! You already know the deal, or you wouldn't have been here in the first place.

Get back here and tell us what is happening! I wish you all good and I believe in you!/ Pia

ibizan · Answer

Heroin addicts shouldn't drink alcohol, smoke pot or do anything else mood altering for it takes them right back to square one of the monopoly game of addiction.You have no clue as to how this is affecting ur 2 yr.old.....it is...it does.....lil ppl can't articulate to us about it but they act it out!u need to get sober clean and put ur recovery and child first...if ur hub wants to join u in the journey so be it...but first things first!for 30 grand in rehab i hope u remember some things u were taught!